1/ Men are NOT mindreaders
2/ Learn to work the toilet seat; you're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up. You dont hear us complaining about you leaving it down
3/ Sunday sport is like the full moon or the changing tide ---Let it be
4/ Shopping is NOT a sport
5/ A headache that lasts 17 months is a problem -- see a doctor
6/ Anything we said 6 mths ago is inadmissible in an arguement -- all comments become null & void after 7 days
7/ If you think you are fat, you probably are
8/ If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one way makes you sad or cry, we meant the other one
9/ If it itches, it WILL be scratched ---- we do that
10/ Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we
11/ Crying is blackmail
12/ All men see in only 16 colours -- peach is a fruit, not a colour, plum is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is
13/ If you tell us 'nothing' is wrong, we will act like nothing's wrong
14/ I am in shape --- round is a shape
2006-09-01 03:08:19 · 27 answers · asked by surdy 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Men; Here are the girls rules for you to follow:
1. Call.
2. Don't lie.
3. Never tape any of her body parts together.
4. If guys' night out is going to be fun, invite the girls.
5. The correct answer to "Do I look fat?" is never, ever "Yes."
6. Ditto for "Is she prettier than me?"
7. Victoria's Secret is good. Frederick's of Hollywood is bad.
8. Ordering for her is good. Telling her what she wants is bad.
9. Being attentive is good. Stalking is bad.
10. "Honey," "Darling," and "Sweetheart" are good. "Nag," "Lard*ss,"
and "B*tch" are bad.
11. Talking is good. Shouting is bad. Slapping is a felony.
12. A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question.
13. None of your ex-girlfriends was ever nicer, prettier, or better
in bed.
14. Her cooking is excellent.
15. That isn't an excuse for you to avoid cooking.
16. Dish soap is your friend.
17. Hat does not equal shower, after-shave does not equal soap, and
warm does not equal clean.
18. Buying her dinner does not equal foreplay.
19. Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with "Nobody" is never
going to end that conversation.
20. The rules are never fair. Accept this without question. The fact
that she has to go through labor while you sit on your butt in
the waiting room, smoking cigars, isn't fair either, and it
balances everything.
2006-09-01 03:14:36 · answer #1 · answered by webster1305 2 · 6⤊ 0⤋
2/ Learn to work the toilet seat; you're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up. You dont hear us complaining about you leaving it down
Ok so what do you do for a number two then eh????? Liar!! xx
2006-09-02 15:45:15 · answer #2 · answered by Delgado 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free.
Here's an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage. WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.
Men are like....
1. Men are like ...Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like. ... Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ...Weather ......... Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like .Blenders . You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like ...Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like ..Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like .... Department Stores . Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ...Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like ...Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like . Popcorn . They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like ...Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ....Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like ... Parking Spots . All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
2006-09-01 10:11:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 11⤊ 0⤋
I think it's kind of funny. I like the Men are like...response too.
I agree with 13. If a girl says nothing is wrong, you better believe I will act like nothings wrong. Don't front!
2006-09-01 11:29:54 · answer #4 · answered by Rue 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The Girl with the funny title; Webster 1305 and my main man Surdy you all should be at comedy Central.
2006-09-01 10:44:47 · answer #5 · answered by Point Blank 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Funny!!! I read the rules for women. What a load of Kirby Puckett.
2006-09-01 10:39:30 · answer #6 · answered by Amazon 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Surdy, You are the best guy around. Keep it up. 100/10 no 1000/10. It was the best one ever.
2006-09-01 10:15:41 · answer #7 · answered by Dumbledore 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
surdy some of those comments are a bit harsh....but men and women will be against each other forever..maybe...we do have sperm banks...maybe we'll take over hahahahahaaa
2006-09-01 10:42:10 · answer #8 · answered by CharM 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ha-Ha! Very Funny! I am quite tickled! NOT!
2006-09-01 11:30:01 · answer #9 · answered by Dan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He he u are getting E-bombs from ladies
2006-09-01 10:19:22 · answer #10 · answered by Pd 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋