My 12 yr old son has been terrible lately. He is the 6th of 8 children. He has become so mouthy and telling me he doesn't care what my husband and do to discipline him. ex: sending to his room, grounding, sitting on steps. He says we hate him and we just care about all the other kids. Which is not true we go to his sports events, school functions and really spend a lot of family time together and 1 on 1 time with him. Today he was having trouble finishing up his homework and said that he wishes the teacher would die and he hates middle school, then he couldn't find his assignment log and wanted me to help him, I refused because he just got done kicking chairs and throwing things. The bus arrived and needless to say he went to school without his log. I have never had this kind of problem with any of his older siblings. I don't know what more to do then to stick with my punishments. I try to reward him with positive things. He just feels the whole world is out to get him. Help!
2006-09-01 02:27:19 · 33 answers · asked by momof8 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
BEAT ON THE BRAT
BEAT ON THE BRAT
BEAT ON THE BRAT
WITH A BASEBALL BAT
OH YEAH
OH YEAH
OH OH OH
2006-09-01 02:30:14 · answer #1 · answered by Transgénico 7 · 1⤊ 4⤋
There are a lot of factors to be considered here and I don't know all of them. How is the father involved in all of this? Everyone has there own definition of what being spoiled is and what discipline is. No person here can give any knowledgeable advice without being there with you, the boy and the father. Something is wrong here though. I would suggest a counselor maybe from your church if you go to one. I myself stay consistant with my discipline and love. I mean what I say and don't give in to an awwww dad plea. I have had to reort to a full groundin once when my son was about your son's age. We didn't have the toys they have today, but there was to be no tv, radio, or anything else. He did his homework, chores around the house and that was it for two weeks and then gradually got things back through a reward system for good behavior. Does the father take him fishing and/or camping, ride bikes together, go walking in the woods? These things are very important between a father and son. For you as well. Take a long walk with him and allow him to talk and also you tell him how you feel. Just don't try to be his "best friend." He needs a parent, he has friends.
I hope this helps in some way.
Good luck , take care and God bless.
P.S. NO MEDS. Drugs are the worst thing you could give him unless absolutely necessary. Someone here suggested that. That is real stupid. Oh yeah lets dope him up so he is too numb to misbehave. That is insane.
2006-09-01 02:47:33 · answer #2 · answered by celticwarrior7758 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First don't ever refuse to help your son, no matter if he needs disciplining or not. And it's probably overwhelming being so much younger than the rest of his siblings and therefore most younger / youngest children do feel left out. Never mind the fact that he is 12 and although your other children did not behave the same way, it is perfectly natural for a child to become unruly at the age of 12 or thereabouts. Just keep reassuring him of your love and affection and his place in the family, also again, don't refuse to help your son EVER. Good luck!
2006-09-01 03:02:02 · answer #3 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you and your husband should sit and first talk to your son about this problem and his wrong thinking but if this doesn't help then the problem is not that he isn't getting your attention but all he needs is a bit more of showing that you care. you need to do these three things,
1. show him that you care by even small things like, when he comes home from his school give him a kiss n a hug talk to him for somewhile, sometimes even play with himthat makes a chid more close to you.
2. this is little funny but i think you must do this, you should check his elder brother's or sister's (the 7th and 8th child of yours) behaviour because sometimes when the elder sibblings try to tease or show in some way that mom and dad likes them more. so sometimes even the elders try to make the feel they are less loved then the elders.
3. if the above 2 ideas doesn't work then, finally take the help of the person your son really respects or follows or listens the most.
hope it really halps you.
take care.
2006-09-01 02:52:30 · answer #4 · answered by scarlet 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He does NOT need a psychologist, they will only put him on meds and make the situation worse for him and they are not good for him.
He is probably having a few problems dealing with making friends or the new middle school situation. Have you talked to his school counselor?? It can also be hormones!! Keep that in mind.
Psychologists only care about the $$ they are putting in their pockets when they get patients. They do not care about the harmful effects that the medication has on children or adults that they prescribe. I have a niece who unfortunately on 3 different antidepressants, etc, and who has had more problems ever since, this is not the route to go, it is an easy way out of finding the true problem. Please dont go that route. Antidepressants etc, make you think about suicide, etc, and will make his emotional problems worse.
Just keep trying to talk to him and figure out what is going on. It seems like it could have something to do with school. Maybe he is having a problem in school??
Good luck hon
2006-09-01 02:44:01 · answer #5 · answered by Deb 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To medicate or not is up to you. But I do recommend him seeing a pscyhologist or a counselor. It sounds like he needs to learn coping skills, along wtih anger management skills before it gets completely out of hand. Sometimes medication is helpful in stabilization until the child can learn better coping skills. I do question when he is sent to his room, does he still have his games/tv/cd player etc? Sometimes a behavoir chart works well with outlined rewards.. Like if you complete your homework 3/5 days this week without complaint or outburst, then you are allowed 2 hours TV time or an extra 1 for you allowance whatever he wants. If you fail to complete your homework then you loose 2 hours of TV time or loose your allowance. Make sure he understands that the number of days that accepatable behavior will be expected increase.
2006-09-04 21:05:24 · answer #6 · answered by dakittenizcozmic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My oldest son had a reading comprehension problem that I had been trying to get help for since he was in Elementary school. He would get very frustrated(throwing pencils and papers) and it took him forever to get his homework done. He couldn't understand what he was reading. He would say that he felt "stupid". It all came to light, when he had to start reading Math problems. He had always been good in Math, as long as it was numbers, but when words came into the equation, that's when red flags flew for me! Before he started Middle School, I went to see his(middle school) academic counselor. She was very sympathetic to the situation and guided him towards programs, within the school, that helped him. He is now 27 years old and doing great. I have two sons, you have a house full of kids. Nonetheless, I'm sure he feels lost in the crowd, no matter how much "one on one" he is getting from you. I would have him tested...there could be a learning disability topping off the rest of his issues.
2006-09-01 02:46:05 · answer #7 · answered by janice 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Help is right. Usually the youngest kids are the ones that we spoil the most so that is probably the reason he is acting out more than the older ones.
You definitely need some help because this is only going to get worse considering his age.
Since he is having trouble in school he may have a learning disability. You need some professional help to figure out what is going on with him and these days saying he wants a teacher to die is asking for trouble.
If you can get through call Dr. Laura.
Good luck!
2006-09-01 02:34:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
DO NOT BEAT HIM. That will only reinforce that you don't like him. Use the carrot approach. Ask him what he wants for a reward for good behavior. Pick one area at a time that you want changed and when he achieves it make sure you give it to him. If the cost of what he wants is more than you can afford tell him that and give him a price range to work with. It just might be money so he can save it up for something bigger. GOOD LUCK.
2006-09-01 02:55:33 · answer #9 · answered by Aliz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See about finding a good male child psychologist to get him into. Sounds like something is going on that you don't know about and either he isn't sure of, or doesn't know how to explain. He may have some form of depression or adhd that is just now becoming worse because of outside factors. Good luck with him.
BTW too..I saw that someone said he DOES NOT need a psychologist b/c they will automatically medicate him. Psychologists can't write scripts! They are only talk therapy and actually work wonders!
2006-09-01 02:47:58 · answer #10 · answered by nic_tammyscott 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
personally I dont believe that beating your child is the answer as some of the other answer'ers have said. That only leads into adult hood and he will think that it is ok to beat up on ppl especially women. My recommendation is to take away what prides him most wether it be his play station or t.v. tell him that he cannot use the phone and give him a list of chores to do. when he completes his tasks he can have one of his play things back. reward him by taking him out for ice cream or the movies. Tell him that this is not the way you were raised and it is not how he is going to be raised. if any of this doesnt work I would take him to a couseling class and maybe they can figure out why he is acting like this. Good Luck! God Bless
2006-09-01 02:40:01 · answer #11 · answered by LawGal 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋