He is normally a very good boy, there has been a recent change in his classroom routine. A new teacher, is he testing the waters? He has been very good at home.
2006-09-01 02:20:52 · 16 answers · asked by green eyed lady 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Establish that he is not allowed to hit. Children feel more secure if they know their limitations. Establish a course of discipline and let him know bad behavior is not nice. Let him know you love him but that type of behavior disappoints you, you expect better of him.
He'll understand, kids are taught wrong and right. They pick up on what they see from others and emotional may behave more aggressively when frustrated as well.
You don't need Nanny 911. Establish firmly by voice and a look of, "no." Let him know you are not playing and are serious. You don't need to say it over and over again. A simple talk.
When he comes back from school each day, ask him if he was good today then reward him with a bear hug and praise him on being such a good boy. Interact and ask him what he learned today as well and other simple questions to open dialog. By doing this you'll be able to pick up on any clues concerning treatment by staff and other children. In case there is some other bully in the class or he is navigating his feelings if he feels left out of the group.
2006-09-01 02:46:26 · answer #1 · answered by day_dae 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like he's testing. He could have been hit first or before and this is his way of dealing with whatever the problem was. My son and his friend got into it a few days ago. (it was really bad. actually fighting!) They are just fine now and act like nothing happened. Boys will be boys. Let him know you love him and that this is not acceptable behavior. Don't punish him at home for something he did at school. He won't remember what he did or how it all started. (preschool is still young.) If you catch him in the act then timeout and punishment. If he did it at school and you didn't see it, talk to him about it and let him know it's not nice to hit.
2006-09-01 02:29:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be that he is not happy with the change, or it could be that he wants to see how hard he can push the new teacher. When you give him timeout, explain that hitting hurts and you don't hit him, so do not hit other people. If that does not work, then unfortunately, it may take one of the kids hitting him back, to stop him...this sounds bad, but remember when we were in school, what seemed to always stop this kind of problem. Good Luck!
2006-09-01 02:25:29 · answer #3 · answered by tryin4freedom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure this response is going to draw a lot of comments about how I'm a hippie, but let me just say that I have two exceptionally well behaved kids at home, one of whom taught himself to read at age 3.
Kids and aggression is a tricky thing. The first thing you should do is ask HIM why he's hitting. Where did he learn this from? Explain that he's hurting people. Once he realizes that his behavior is a problem, ask HIM what you can do to get him to stop.
My wife and I have been amazed at the amount of violence on kids TV, even the supposedly safe channels like Nick Jr. and Noggin have shows where people fight. We just got very strict about limiting his TV and we absolutely don't allow him to watch movies for grown-ups if there's violence. NOTE: This includes superhero movies. Garbage in = garbage out.
You need to explain to him that his hitting hurts other people. THOSE are the consequences he needs to worry about, not the fact that he'll get into trouble, or might get hit back.
As far as timeouts go, if you really think about what a Timeout is, you'll realize that what you're doing is withholding your love for him through rejection for a few minutes. I know that's not what you intend to do, but that is, psychologically speaking, what happens from his point of view. My personal rule is that my child should never question my love for him, no matter what he does. Being a parent means unconditional love, and he should know that too.
All you can do is talk to him about how his actions hurt other people and try to make him understand. The change won't happen overnight.
As for the people that are telling you to hit your kid to keep him from hitting....that's just silly. You'd actually be reinforcing the behavior by hitting. Sure, he'll stop hitting for awhile (out of fear of you), but then he'll hit someone else when he wants them to fear him and do what he wants. So instead of "casual" hitting, you'll be creating a bully.
Kids are people, and if you want them to treat you with respect, treat them with respect.
Now, let the hippie bashing begin...
2006-09-01 02:34:32 · answer #4 · answered by Homina H 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is probably testing. Children have a hard time with change. But you do need to nip this in the bud right away. You need to use logical and natural consequence. Be on call with his teachers. As soon as he hits someone have the teacher call you and go get him right away. Have a really boring day with him. Try keeping him home the next day. Tell him "If you are going to hurt people then you can't go to school." If he loves going, he should get the message right away that he needs to respect others at his school.
Have a friend over for a play date. If he hurts his peer, rush to his peer and empathize. Say "Ouch! That must have hurt! You must be so (mad, angry, upset, frustrated). Let's get some ice to put on your sore." Ignore your son. He will not like feeling left out. Have that child tell your son "I don't like when you hit me! I don't want to play with you if you are going to hurt me." It is a very powerful message when coming form another child.
Empathize with your son after a hitting incident. "You must have been really (angry, frustrated, mad, upset) when you hit "Mark." What can you do next time instead of hitting?" With some practice, he will soon learn to express his emotions rather than lash out. Good luck!
2006-09-01 07:15:39 · answer #5 · answered by marnonyahoo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's rountine has been whacked and he's not adjusting very well---think of all the times your routine has changed and you didn't like it? well-this is he's way of saying that. (also, does he like the teacher? is it the same kid or kids he hits? is it at the same time everyday? Time out works-is it being done right there at school or later when he gets home? if done at home-he might really remember what he's in time out for. If done at school-make sure he's teacher isn't making him the "EXAMPLE". Explain to him that if he gets in trouble at shool he's going into time out-and that night at home he won't be able to watch one of his shows. Talk with him or get him to draw you a picture and have him explain the picture and that should help you get an insight into what's going on in his little mind. Hope this helps.
2006-09-01 02:29:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children are the very delicate thing to deal with. Parents simple mistake on their child may have a long lasting effect on his whole life.
Please ask him politely, why he beats other friends. Explain him that others will get pain when he beats them. Make him understand that beating is not human way.
Otherwise take him to a councilling . Meet a child psychyiatrist.
Its not bad you know.
2006-09-01 02:32:46 · answer #7 · answered by SIVAKUMAR 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if anyone is bothering him where he has to fight back.Maybe he not use to sharing and is very territory about whats around him but he still should not hit anyone for no reason.
2006-09-01 04:15:58 · answer #8 · answered by keishahayes2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out why he is hitting! Punishment won't do any good if you don't know what's triggering him to hit in the first place.
2006-09-01 02:30:43 · answer #9 · answered by theblackenedphoenix 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is his father around? Usually boys have a lot of anger if their father is not active in their lives.
2006-09-01 02:23:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋