i was with a guy in high school for four years off and on but the last year of our relationship was the best but it ended off really bad. It took 2 years for me to get over it. but now i have a barbed wire around my heart and i cant seem to let my guy of 9 months directly into my heart. what am i supposed to do?
2006-09-01 01:47:23 · 7 answers · asked by sexygurl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Any hurtful relationship from your past can leave you with inhibitions in a new relationship. But you can't let the past affect your future. Take what you've learned about yourself during your previous relationship, and apply that education to your new one. If that means holding your heart back a bit, so be it. If it means you are afraid that this man will cheat on you because the last one did (just as an example), please know that each person is different. The sooner you are able to come to the understanding that your new partner is NOT your old partner, and you're enjoying the way your new partner makes you feel, then let go of the past, and enjoy today. You'll find it much easier to do, and also learn that it can be a pleasant relationship for both. They say you should follow your heart, and at the same time they say love is blind. BUT, I recommend trusting your mind, because in addition to love being blind, it can also be deaf and dumb. Go with the flow, and be everything to him without worry, until he gives you the reasons to have worry. Good luck and congratulations on your new relationship!
2006-09-01 01:55:53 · answer #1 · answered by loving father 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's proved himself loving and trustworthy, take the chance. There are no guarantees in life or love that you won't be hurt again... but there's no guarantee that you WILL, either :)
Just go slow, relax, and open up a little at a time and be patient with yourself. In the end, if he's a good man and makes you happy, you will see it was well worth the gamble.
2006-09-01 08:53:59 · answer #2 · answered by Avid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TOO LATE! What you should NOT have done was get into another relationship when you weren't fully ready to give whole heartedly. It's not fair to the new guy. Your bringing in crap from the last relationship and the new guy has to suffer the consequences of another. Tsk! tsk!
2006-09-01 08:52:35 · answer #3 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just takes time I guess.
Be sure to communicate with your new man and tell him why you're finding it hard. Let him help you build trust again. If you just keep quiet, he might think you have a problem with him, not the last guy.
good luck!
2006-09-01 08:50:03 · answer #4 · answered by nev 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you weren't ready for a new relationship yet!
2006-09-01 08:49:27 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do what you're not comfortable with.
Don't punish you're new guy for what the old one did.
Good luck
2006-09-01 08:51:16 · answer #6 · answered by niffer's mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him directly
2006-09-01 08:49:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋