My wife is leaving me and I know that if I can just keep her from drifting away and sit down to talk about our issues we will be ok. But her parents have a strong hold on her and keep pressure on to just walk away from me and stay tight to them. I only want her to actually stop and give "us" a chance to work out our issues.
2006-09-01 01:16:26 · 29 answers · asked by mark g 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Take her on a last minute vacation?
2006-09-01 01:18:04 · answer #1 · answered by Ragincajun 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mark, if she is still there why don't you talk to her? You really are up against it if her parents have such a strong hold on her. There is, I am afraid, no way you can 'open her eyes' as there is an old saying that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink if you get what I mean. Is there any chance that you two have a non-biased relative or friend who can sit with you and help you work out your issues? That way you won't get into arguments and maybe, just maybe, this person might make your wife see that you really want to give it a go and are willing to try.
If your wife is unwilling to do this then, sorry, I am afraid there is not much you can do. You can't stop her if she has made her mind up to go, and her parents are blood relatives - blood is thicker than water? I wish you luck, but if it is not meant to be maybe, just maybe, you aren't meant to be together and there is someone out there more suited for you. Not much consolation I know.
2006-09-01 01:24:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's fair to assume that your wife isn't leaving because of something that just happened. In other words, there have probably been many things that have led up to her decision to leave. She may feel fed up. She may wonder why NOW should she talk to you about these things. Why not before? Tell her that while you don't want her to leave, you understand. Explain that you hope this doesn't mean the end of your relationship and hopefully some time apart might help things. Then, offer to seek couples counseling to work through these problems. maybe with some time away to reflect, she may realize that she belongs with you. Mean what you say because if you make these promises and don't follow through, you will just make her angrier at wasting more time. Good luck.
2006-09-01 01:23:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think any marriage deserves a chance. There are only a few things that would be excusable for divorce and I'm sure you could think of a couple on your own. Having said that and assuming you haven't done anything to horrible, let her know how much you love her and ask her if she will just take a small trip with you and get her away from her parents so you can plead your case on why your love should last!
2006-09-01 01:21:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The curse of every marriage is in-laws interfering - so I am sorry you have to deal with this.
If you can't stop the initial walking away of your wife at this time and it sounds like you have already tried - remember that in many circumstances absence does make the heart grow fonder. A temporary break MAY help or may be what your wife actually needs. So why not try to get her to agree to meet for lunch on a weekly basis somewhere neutral and nice - at least this gives you both some private time to start talkign again.
Remember people deal with difficulties in relationships differently. When you have been at loggerheads for some time - it is so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel - this may be where your wife is at. So give her options to keep communication lines open (in the short/medium term).
Good luck.
2006-09-01 01:23:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is keep asking, and hope that she will give you a chance, people don't generally just leave for no reason, so perhaps examine what has happened in your relationship and try and find the reason, you could even try Relate or relationship counselling, even if your wife is not willing to attend, you could go and get some help on your own, and then go back to her and show her what you have learnt.
2006-09-01 01:20:01 · answer #6 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loving someone means knowing when to let go. By not letting her go, her parents are showing they do not love her and you are trying to do the same by insisting she stay.
If she wants to go, let her go and tell her that you'll always be there for her. If she is not happy with her new life, she'll come back to you. If she's happy with her new life, be happy for her. That's what love's all about.
2006-09-01 01:22:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then talk to her NOW. Why wait? It only takes a few simple questions that need to be answered : does she still love you? Does she feel and think your marriage is still worth saving? Is there anything you can do for her to prove that you want your marriage to work? If her answers to these questions are in the form of prolonged ...... yyyyyyyeeeeeesssss...... and not a quick Yup, forget it my friend. Your marriage is doomed. Maybe give each other a break and enough breathing space to think about the state of your marriage and if it's worth saving. I also suggest you discuss your ordeal with your in laws and try to convince them to believe you so they can encourage her to give it another chance - heck - if you've got her parents on your side - you're sure to win.
2006-09-01 01:26:06 · answer #8 · answered by Equinox 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are her reasons for leaving and what are her parents reasons for wanting her to leave you? If there are valid reasons from her and them as to why she is better off without you, you need to address them from your side of things and perhaps she'll come back. As for preventing her from leaving, you can't. You can ask to book some time with her once a week, with an independent third party present, if that's what it takes, and start reconciliation from there.Good luck.
2006-09-01 02:35:02 · answer #9 · answered by Sun is Shining ❂ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would her parents want her to leave you? i know it might not be anyone's business but you didn't mention what your issues are. you might think you guys can work things out if you just sit down and talk about it. maybe she thinks she's already gone more than the extra mile, you know? if it's just her parents being controlling of her well, that's a little f-ed up. i don't know what to tell you about that. i'm certainly not attached to mine.
2006-09-01 01:29:12 · answer #10 · answered by practicalwizard 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should write your feelings down? This would give her the chance to read it when she felt able to, and you will have a chance to think about what you want to say and won't need to rush. This way is also less likely to result in an argument.
One thing I think you should remember, is that in a straight choice between you and her parents, she will probably choose her parents, so I think you need to make sure she knows she can still have a good relationship with them too.
2006-09-01 01:24:26 · answer #11 · answered by guest 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋