My 5 yr old daughter hates to go to school, Any suggestions?

Question

She hates first grade and complains to the teachers she is sick and wants to go home, she also complains she has no friends and makes other excuses to her mother.
Desperate and not sure what to do.
Mother encourages her to go and learn how to read and write but father doesn't. Father and mother seperated when she was 4, I feel this is a distraction in her life. HELP IF ANY

Answer 1

if you are able, ask if you can help out in the classroom once a week. schools are so different now. i had jr high students beat on my son after school. this happened more than once. he was in the 3rd grade. i got my family away from there. don't expect the school to help you. the teachers and principal just turn there backs and say it is out of there hands. i had went to the school for a visit to find out that 5 adults had my son pinned to the ground in 5th grade. i turned it in to be investagated. no one at the school board called me. i will never know what happened but what my son told me. the adults wouldn't give me a strait answer. don't trust the schools. get invovled. they hate it when you want to go to class with your child to see how the class is ran. i pray that your child will be safe and be able to learn at school.

Answer 2

I would sit down with her and find out some key reasons to why she feels she doesn't like school. I would also have her pick 3 things she does like about school. Once you have done this I would request a meeting with the teacher that includes her to discuss how you as a team can make school a better experience for her. If her problems include making friends, maybe she could invite a couple people she would like to get to know over for a play date after school. Or have the teacher ask "who would like to play with ------ today" Someone else may feel the same way as she does. If she is having a hard time with the work and the amount of sitting maybe she can get extra help or an extra 5 min break put in between long study times.
I would ask the teacher to request a meeting with dad, so she can help him learn ways to become more of an active encouraging help for his daughter when it comes to her acidemics.
Good Luck

Answer 3

First off does she have friends? Because if she doesn't this is most likely a good chunk of the problem.. Also if she hears her father and mother arguing about this, I'm sure it doesn't help the situation. I suggest they sit down together and talk about this with her - the father needs to grow up and realize his daughter has no choice but to go to school! However they need to make this the best experience possible.. They also need to talk with her teacher and find out if something is happening in school that makes her feel uninvolved etc.

Answer 4

WOW, sorry to hear that. My baby just started school this year too. Kindergarten. But she does that at least one day out of the week. I just tell her to remember all the fun she had the following day with the kids and her teacher. If that doesn't work, I remind her she has 2 days off coming up (the weekend). Good luck, you just need to be a little patient. Especially if this is the first time she is in a school environment.

Answer 5

Talk to the teacher and help build up the friendships at school so she looks forward to seeing them. Stop encouraging her to read and write. It is too much pressure. Work on the social side of things that is the most important at 5 years old

Answer 6

My child says the same thing. First, remember that school can be overwhelming for some children, think about it like us starting a new job. The way they can express their feelings at that age is much more limited than how we can. Think about how she grasps concepts of time, as in weeks, months ect. most likely they are not the same as an adult yet. So her way of expressing her feelings about school are going to be lumped into more general comments that she comprehends such as in hate, like, good, ect... I recently spoke to my child's teacher and brought up the very same topic so I urge you to do the same. I also have helped in the classroom and I found that my child really is enjoying it for the most part. There are areas that my child's is feeling inadequate in but according to the teacher this is normal. My child's teacher gave me this suggestion and it is how she deals with negativity in her classroom. When a child has something negative to say about another child in the class, ie tattling ect. she first asks them to state three things about the other person that are nice and then their complaint. I tried this and we were able to discuss things in a more balanced manor. It is heartbreaking to hear your child is unhappy, I really do understand that. Try to get to the root of the feeling and understand that they are going to be limited in the way they can express themselves so in order to really help them through their very real fears and feelings of anxiety we need to find ways to understand what is going on. I know that schools also have great free councilors available and that may be something that you can tap into as well.

Good luck and know that other people have children that are not expressing " it's Great!" all the time about school either. Get to the bottom of it. Help her and her teacher find ways for her to see the good parts about school and I am certain that your child's teacher will help foster friendships in school as well.

As far as the father mother dynamic goes, I would encourage you to share your observations with the father as well and suggest that he meet with her teacher. Keep him in the loop without being accusational. Even if he is not encouraging her, do not suggest that to him especially infront of your child. Somethings are best hidden from children and that burden is ours to carry as adults. Your daughter should feel that both parents support her even at the expense of the truth. He may have a very different way of parenting and that may not be the best way, but your daughter should never feel that one of you doesn't care. Unless something is being done that is distructive, As hard as this may sound, please encourage the father to get involved and meet with the teacher too!

Answer 7

Maybe she doesn't want to leave you all alone...she probably feels insecure... so when you take here to school tell her you'll wait for her outside! Maybe you should go speak to her teacher find out whats going on if kids make fun of her or maybe the teacher shouts alot and she's scared just go talk to her explain that your daughter has been through alot the last year and to have on the back of her mind to go easy on her...good luck!

Answer 8

Your ex might be using her against you. He might be trying to let her do whatever she wants around him (to her own detriment) and then making you seem like the mean parent (which is for her own good).
What does she enjoy doing while at home? Watching TV? Playing video games? Make things a bit less comfortable for her so there's less reason for her to enjoy being at home and possibly more reason to enjoy school more (until she starts doing well in school). You still might have to get your ex to do the same or else get the grandparents involved (especially his parents if he's being an asshole).

Answer 9

sounds like maybe if she found a nice grown up , teacher,councilor at school and got hooked up with some friends at school maybe she would have an easier time. My dd switched schools and there was a wonderful councilor and he took her under his wing til she got adjusted. Also I would talk to the father and ask him to help make school a positive thing for her. Sounds like she needs some one to talk to.
Good luck

Answer 10

You make her sit with you and tell her the importance of going to school.If it doesn`t works then you tell her the good things about schools what fun she can have in the school.You meet the students of her class and tell them to be friends with her.You can tell her father also to encourage her and tell him that if he should look after his child.You also make her sit with you and tell her the lessons in a funny way.Then she will also enjoy.And if she makes any kind of excuses then you send her.If continuously she will have a habit to go to school she will love school.