My son who is 7 is due to start Junior school in a few days and at the new school is a pupil who has not got her hand. My son is absolutley petrifeid of going up to the new school because of this. We have sat down and explained that this pupil would not hurt him and that she has feelings too, and he understands all this and he is not being mailious or anything about this but he is really scared. He cried the whole time he was on a visit to the school and he just says that he is frightned of this pupil. I have been in contact with the school who basically said it's something he will have to get used to but how can i help him overcome this? The school don't want this pupil made to feel upset through this so they won't even consider "introducing" him to her so he can try and understand that she is just a normal little girl. The last thing i want to do is upset this other pupil with this but i am really in need of some ideas on what to do. I get the impression that the school dosen't care!
2006-09-01 00:11:48 · 9 answers · asked by 2plus3 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
My son knows that she was born like this and knows it won't affect him. He is aware of everything but he is still frightened. i have spoke to the school a numerous times before but they are adamant that this should not get back to the pupil it concerns, they are very srict about this. I have tried everything i can think of, my son has actually spoken to the girl about her situation and yet he still seems very scared. i just think its disgusting that the school is being so arkward as i do believe that it could be helped if the school were to get involved in this. But they won't. If he was this upset over being bullied then the school should intervene, and i know they have to protect the little girl and i apprecaite that its just i dont know what to do for my son. I dont want him to be scared at school but yet i dont want the other little girl to feel upset either if this gets back to her. All the school have said is that "he'll deal with it" which i think is cold hearted.
2006-09-01 00:47:16 · update #1
Wow, this is a new one on me. I have worked with special needs children and adults for over twenty-five years. I do not understand the reluctance of the school over this, I would think that it would be less tramatising for everyone involved if there was a private meeting with the girl and your son before school started. It is going to be a lot more upsetting, in my opinion; for your son to be getting upset about this during the school day with other children involved. Is there any way that you can contact the girls parents and arrange a meeting on your own? The school would not be involved, and it may be an easier transition for both of them in the classroom. Children are generally more accepting of "differences" than adults, so this tells me that your son has heard of or seen something possibly in a book or movie or tv show about someone with a simular loss, and this just frightened him for some unknown reason. Have you tried to ask him why this frightens him so, and why he is so scared? He may not be able to voice what he is feeling very well, but you need to really get to the bottom of this as quickly as possible. Is there anyone else that you know who has a similar "disability," someone he sees all the time, but does not really notice that they are in a wheelchair because they have lost a leg or something along those lines? Possibly some other child started this with a statement of well you know Janie lost her hand when a monster bit it off or some other ridiculousness that kids can say. He could be feeding into that, and not even realizing it. I hope that you can utilize these suggestions, going to school and sending your child to school is enough of a stress-inducer all the way around, without having any added anxiety. Best of luck to you both. Have a nice day.
2006-09-01 00:34:31 · answer #1 · answered by Sue F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a very bad phobia and in the end my GP recommended hypnotherapy. I was sceptical, but I went through a national organisation of registered hypnotherapists to finds one in my area. As I say, I was sceptical, but within only a couple of sessions my phobia was already much better and is very well controlled now.
Being that your son is obviously quite young I don't know if this is the best method for him, but maybe you could try talking to a hypnotherapist to see if this could be appropriate for your son.
Do you know what caused the phobia and where it stemmed from? Maybe if this can be figured out then you can work together to try to resolve it. Understanding a phobia and how they work can be a really good key to over coming it.
Good luck to you and your son.
2006-09-01 00:22:42 · answer #2 · answered by Jooles 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He will get used to it with repeated exposure, the shock value is probably what's making him act his way. He will see this girl being a normal kid at school enough times that it should end up losing it's effect eventually.
Until then just keep doing what you're doing and talking it over when he's upset, and make sure he doesn't say to any other kids that he is frightened of her, in case it gets back to the poor girl, and makes him unpopular!
2006-09-01 00:21:18 · answer #3 · answered by - 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe you could find out why this little girl is like this,
was she born this way, was it an accident that caused
it ? Maybe if your son knows the reason as to why
the girl is this way he will feel more comfortable.
maybe he's afraid it could happen to him? Or that
if he touches her it will happen to him. Give him the
comfort in knowing it WILL NOT happen to him.
let him know that others are this way too & that it's
the way a person acts that matters & not how they look.
good luck & hope this helps
2006-09-01 00:22:45 · answer #4 · answered by start 6-22-06 summer time Mom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-02-11 03:13:22 · answer #5 · answered by Brenna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's probably not possible because of the Data Protection nonsense, but could you ask the school to pass your contact details to the girls parents? Maybe you could meet up before school starts, either with or without your children. It can't be easy for them either, so maybe they would appreciate the effort you are going to?
2006-09-01 00:21:08 · answer #6 · answered by Hellbell73 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
have you got time to send him to an acupuncturist? Or a reputable hypnotherapist might help. To be honest he may just have to be scared for a couple of days until it reaches 'normalisation'. It is an irrational fear and these can usually only be fixed by facing them.
2006-09-01 00:20:15 · answer #7 · answered by jennymilluk 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Rosslyn <3
2016-03-17 06:01:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hopefully in time he will learn not to be scared. i have a 15yr old scared of mexicans. as soon as she is near one she grabs my hand. so i know how u feel.
2006-09-01 00:50:24 · answer #9 · answered by kitttkat2001 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give him a helping hand.
2006-09-01 00:17:14 · answer #10 · answered by i_look_to_my_eskimo_friend 2 · 1⤊ 4⤋