my uncle recently passed away. like, the night beofre yesterday night. that was wednesday night, and next sunday is my birthday and i said to my mum 'i hate it when these things happen around my birthday, because the other year my dog died the day before my birthday, and my mum was like 'well im sure uncle didnt WANT to die', and then i felt really selfish, so know the funeral is about 2 days before my birthday, but i dont want to say anything, because then ill be selfish. i also fee selfish when i think about him but dont cry. what can i do? is this ok?
2006-08-31 21:53:26 · 13 answers · asked by ezzaphill 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i was quite close to this uncle
2006-08-31 22:45:51 · update #1
Talk to your mom about how you feel. Tell her you feel bad for not feeling like crying and you don't understand why you feel the way you do. In actuality, if you and your uncle had been closer, you would probably be feeling a lot worse. But anyway, the best thing for you to do right now is talk to your mom about it. Good luck.
2006-08-31 21:58:11 · answer #1 · answered by Ray 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am so sorry for your loss i lost my daughter when she was 3 and a half monthes old 2 days after thanksgiving and then a year to the day my son was born so i understand bad things happening on days that are suppose to be happy it sucks and i can tell you it is very hard to deal with but time does heal the heart and you are NOT being selfish life is not fair all the time as for being close to your uncle and not crying it is perfectly normal i did not cry for several monthes after my daughter died because i was to sad and did not want to let others know that i felt like a bad person i still have a lot og guilt over her death but i have to remind myself she is happier healthier and with me in my heart and spirit just as your uncle is please do not bottle your feelings up and do talk to a trusted adult about your feelings it does help
2006-09-01 07:06:26 · answer #2 · answered by DUCKYJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't feel selfish and so sorry for the death of your uncle..My dad died 4 days after my second baby was born , and when we went to the hosp. a preacher was there , ( I am not overly religious ) But , he told me that's God's way of showing you that he can take a life but yet give one , this made things a little more easy to understand... He will take one you love , and in return give you one to love , and that's you .. Your birthday being so close will make a sad day (your uncle's death)a happy one to celebrate (your birthday) Good Luck with everything..
2006-09-01 06:08:42 · answer #3 · answered by MARY B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wednesday is only two days ago
Give yourself time to understand your feelings
Its ok not to cry. Your Uncle dying wasn't your fault
No matter what you said or didn't say.
I don't think your being selfish your dealing with this in your own way.
I am sorry you are having difficult times
Give yourself time to work through your feelings
Its ok
Hang in ther tomorrows another day
2006-09-01 05:09:16 · answer #4 · answered by Eric C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
actually, its not really selfish to say that.. u see normally birthdays are supposed to be HAPPY occasion so when one experience a personal loss during or near a birthday then a person gets upset bec now that happy occasion is marred by pain and loss (u remember both the happy and sad event associated with ur birthday)... i remember my mom before my grandma died, wherein she really told her dying mom that if she can still hang on and not die on the day of her birthday (sept 1) bec she do not want to remember that her birthday is also the same day that she lost her mom... ..
2006-09-01 05:01:38 · answer #5 · answered by sen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just dont think of it that way. Just be glad that it isnt on the day of your birthday =p. If you werent close to your uncle, theres no need to feel guilt for not crying. In simple words, when you arent close to someone, your emotions arent as strong for them as say, your dad. You cant really do anything about it, apart from thinking that your jinxed (which your not)
2006-09-01 04:59:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grieving about a loved one does not mean that you should cry your heart out. The fact that you don't want to talk about it and that you remember him is another form of grieving. You are not being selfish if you don't want to talk about it. It will take time. And if your ready then tell other family members or friends about how you feel. You will feel a lot better.
2006-09-01 05:07:56 · answer #7 · answered by Meeya 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mortal one why do you concern yourself with death, death is no concern of ours for when death is here we are not and when death is here we are no more
This is a saying from a Greek philosopher which teaches us not to be concerned or sad about death. It is just an event that will happen to us all. People are sometimes puzzled by the fact that I am happy when someone I know passes away. But I Believe in Karmic retribution meaning that I am thankfull for all the good this person has done to me. I know that his life energy has gone towards the world around him, so why be sad?
2006-09-01 05:03:02 · answer #8 · answered by peter gunn 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am deeply sorry for the death of your uncle .. Your uncle knows that you loved him and if you need to speak about his death, speak from your heart.
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brillant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel
2006-09-01 04:55:31 · answer #9 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a perfectly normal kid. Ease up on yourself, get through the next few days and see if you can celebrate your b-day in a month or so.
2006-09-01 05:03:42 · answer #10 · answered by scarlet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋