It's not that I have a bad life. Its just a life that I feel like I can't handle. I have a three year old that still doesn't have a sleep schedule at night. We are up all night and its taking a toll on me. I just can't take the constant bickering that we're doing and then my husband is sleeping because he has to work. and when he's not working were fussing because I want him to help out at night but with him working he can't. I tried getting him to take weekends from me but he just can't stay awake. Don't get me wrong he does help out when he gets home after work, but I really need him to help out late at night. Am I being selfish or not. I just feel all alone like I have no one. I am also a diabetic and I know that the way I am sleeping and feeling it not helping. I could bring my lillte boy to my parents house but I would still have to deal with him. They are both in very poor health. Please any suggestions helping to deal with my life would be appreciated.
2006-08-31 21:09:26 · 9 answers · asked by crabl6 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
and to top off all of this i need to have a hystercomy in Oct. can not be avoid due to problems
2006-08-31 21:39:42 · update #1
to wahootexan why get up and share breakfast with him when I haven't even gone to bed yet. plus his breakfast is fixed when he gets up
2006-08-31 21:43:37 · update #2
we've been married for 22 years and also have another child that will be 21 in Oct. my little boy will be 3 in Oct
2006-08-31 21:45:13 · update #3
Well, you have to get your 3 year old sleeping through the night. Right now, unless he is staying up because he is ill there is no reason at all for this and you must stop it.
He is running the house now and as you know, it is not going very well.
I am not sure about the size of your house, etc. and am not an expert but I have had a lot of experience with kids and grandkids and you cannot let them control the way they sleep, eat, etc or it just blooms out of control.
Get some help making him follow the rules and sleep at night from your local doctors or friends and get it done fast so you can sleep and it does not destroy your marraige.
THIS IS NOT NORMAL, and you can fix it, but first realize it is the problem, you need to fix this kids sleep pattern, not you, not your husband, okay,, good luck..
2006-08-31 21:21:35 · answer #1 · answered by MrPurrfect 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The best way to deal with a situation you cannot stand is to change. First and foremost you need to get your child on a sleep schedule. In no time at all your child will be in school and starting him on the right path now is in his best interest.
You need to have a routine. A good one is to allow some playtime after dinner and then off to the bath. After bathtime he will be more relaxed, remember no playing after the bath. Then put him in bed and read him a story. He may want to get up at first. Each night that he gets up, simply take him back to bed without a word. If he cries, let him know you love him but be firm and remind him it's bedtime. You have to be consistent for it to work. Children need the stability of a schedule. And as for taking him to your parents, you said they are in poor health, why would you burden them with YOUR responsibilities? That is selfish.
Now, on to your other issues. Yes, you are being a bit selfish. Marriage is hard. It is two people that need to give 100 percent each. Your husband works outside of the house so your job is in the house. So you are diabetic and tired. Life is not a cakewalk, it takes effort to acheive good results in anything. Marriage is no different.
Perhaps you need a better schedule for yourself too. With only one child you should be able to get everything sone while your husband is at work. Think of it as your workday. Wake up with your husband and share breakfast before you both start your days. When he goes to work, you go to work. It doesn't take anyone 8 hours to clean house and do laundry.
After you and your husband get on the same sleep schedule and your child is on schedule you will see a difference in your life. You have to be the one to make that difference, though. You can't just sit by and wait for it to happen.
Sit down and write a list of all the things you are bickering about. Look at them and think long and hard. Is it really the issue. Is it important enough to dwell on? What can you do to change yourself and how you react?
If you aren't getting along any better after all of that, I would suggest counseling.
2006-08-31 21:30:09 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Diabetic and a three yr old. Well i'd say your stressed out! You are probably exhausted and thats why you and hubby are bickering. Ok mom, here goes!!! It may be tough at first but here is my suggestion. You get a whole new routine going in your home! You wake your child up Early in the morning, as hard as it may be. Let him/her play outside, go to the park, something to use some of the energy a 3 yr old has. If the child naps, No naps after 1pm!!! That helps a child stay up at nite, I know its gonna be hard cause your tired! Watch the amount of sugar, caffine, and after SHORT nap, hour at most, take him/her for walk, or outside to play, go visit a friend w/kids, when hubby gets home, let him chill for a minute and take over. Get supper done, feed everyone, nice warm bath for the little one, try to keep him/her up till at least 7pm, and they should sleep through the nite. You change what time he/she gets up, eats, drinks, naps etc, and you will sleep at nite.
2006-08-31 21:26:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, I have been in the place you are now. It will be OK. I had 3 little ones and was able to manage. Here is my advise. Make a BIG Chart, schedule everything, make nap time in between lunch and snack time.In the early evening take him out side and play running games, ect.. Then by bed time(8p.m) the little one will be so tired, he will be out..Keep with it, don't deviate from the schedule. After a few weeks, life gets so much easier. Schedule time for yourself and your husband, you need to unwind, and sounds like you guys can use some mommy-daddy time. The schedule saved my sanity, hopefully it will help you,,, Best Wishes...
2006-08-31 21:28:20 · answer #4 · answered by tinytinker79 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with your pediatrician about your child's sleep problem. Make sure that everything is okay with your child. He or she may also have some tips on getting your child on a sleep-schedule.
You might check with to see what social services are available in your community. Some places offer child-care to give stressed out parents a break...though it is advocated to assist in preventing child-abuse (which I am sure is not the case with you), it sounds like you might qualify for something like that. A child needs healthy parents to have a healthy childhood. When your child is at daycare, you can get a little extra sleep.
2006-08-31 21:20:44 · answer #5 · answered by akice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your child play outside at all...Fresh air will make a child sleep better at night. Keep him outside on nice days and active. You could sit in a lawn chair while he plays. Don't let him sleep until 8 or 9 at night give him a nice warm bath before bed If he stays active he'll be to tired to keep you up at night the bath will help relax him before going to bed. It worked for me. I know I have a grandson who likes to sleep during the day and stay up alll night.
2006-09-01 00:18:37 · answer #6 · answered by Gloria B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest you book into a playgroup. you will meet other parents going through the same things. not only that your little one will get to play with kids his own age. now that's gotta wear him out. a friend of mine had so many problems with her daughter so she did what i'm suggesting and the little girl did improve.
2006-08-31 21:17:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
^_^ live life.. dont be pull down by your husbands doings... you can live on your own.. and start to pray and have faith in God ^_^
2006-08-31 21:17:44 · answer #8 · answered by mcDhang 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang in there. You are not alone.
2006-08-31 21:16:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋