family life.?

Question

i am 16. when i was like 10 or 11, i had a big fight with my grandma because she would treat me really unfair compared to my brother, she pretty much favoured him. i've never talked to her since. i now have extremly bad relationship with my mom, and i really just pretty much dont want her any part of my life, i have no feelings at all for her and i feel like this everyday. i dont ever want to talk, and i feel that if my parents got a divorce, i wouldnt be sad. becuase she frustrates me so much. i do go to counselling about this. i guess what i want to know from another persons view is, is this bad to have such bad relationships with "family" and yet, it doesn't really bother me?

Answer 1

U are obviously upset about it. So first thing - accept the fact that u are upset. Next, remember that this is also a process of growing up.
Normally teenagers tend to be a rebellious lot. I am sure that in some time u will grow out of it and find that everything is hunky dory.
In the meantime try and take a short vacation and u will realise how much u miss your family.

Answer 2

First being 16 isn't easy anyway. Not a child, yet in society not quite an adult. We don't look at our parents as human beings, we just look at them as parents. They don't necessarily look at teenagers and remember what that time was like cause' it was so long ago. Parents don't always do or say the right things. You say your in counceling. Are you in constant confruntations with your mother? For me, my mother was an alcoholic. I loved her in the early hours of the day, but by 3:30 ish, I didn't like her very much. When I was 16 it seemed like the problem(s) she was having really started to escolate, and one time I had taken a shower, hair not completely dry and she went on one of her rampages. I did not hit her, but had to sort of push her cause she was trying to fight me. She really screwed with my head when she was drunk. I am nearly 46 now, I realized a long time ago that she had issues that she couldn't deal with. That what she took out on me was her problem and not my doing. My mother really shouldn't have been a parent. She did not learn good parenting skills from her mother, nor did she just have it in her to be a mature adult and set good examples. She will be dead 4 yrs this October. When she died, I cried my eyes out. As screwed up as she was, she was still my mother, and I think it hurt so much cause' so many years wasted that could have been so much better, and now I can never talk to her again. This time in your life will fly by in the blink of an eye even though it feels like your stuck in teenager hell. Lots of families have that person who plays favorites and that doesn't seem fair. But remember that is their doing. Is your relationship with your father any better, you mentioned if they got a divorce...If there is stress/chaos in the home, children absorb that. Makes their world chaotic. Are you participating in things that tick your mom off? bad friends, bad grades, are you arguementative, teenagers can be a pain, I know, I have grown children who tortured my brain from time to time. But you can't argue and scream at one another, that gets nobody nowhere. We don't live in your home so we here don't know what all is going on. But, If your mom is pretty decent, and she works, has other kids etc. her plate is pretty full, try just giving each other some space by you having some other interests, school things, social things, get a part time job! Money in your pocket and your out of each others hair a little. This part of your life is just temporary, so try to enjoy those years a little more. Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

I have no feelings for my mom and im 41 and i had none for her mother who mistreated me as a child zI went to counseling and all i was told was to write letters just to get it out wheather you give them or not well i quit going and I feel like they leave me alone and i leave them alone .(To each his own)

Answer 4

If it didn't really bother you, you wouldn't be asking if it was bad and saying that it doesn't really bother you. I say stick with your counseling, hopefully your entire family is in counseling as well?