I'm in a long distance relationship with someone right now and we can only see each other like three times a year. A few days ago, I was having a really bad day, and I said that if he didn't come to see me next summer, it was over. I obviously didn't mean it, cuz I care too much for him. But he took it really personally and said that it made him feel like ****.
We had a huge discussion/fight and we've come to the conclusion that one of us is either over sensitive or under sensitive. He's told me that he's super sensitive and that's something that he can't change. I asked him, what was the conclusion of this whole argument. He says that I have to be more sensitive to his feelings and have to pay more attention to what I say.
I was upset and didn't mean it.
The question: Is he out of line, or am I just a totally stupid and insensitive person?
2006-08-31 18:25:56 · 10 answers · asked by whadoIdoo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You have to be aware of his level of sensitivity, but he has to realize that when you speak out of anger, you may not entirely mean it. Compromise.
2006-08-31 18:28:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense, but it sounds like you're dating another woman. I know women want a sensitive man, but GEEEZ. I had the same problem with an ex. We lived together though, and I was the insensitive one, she was the overly sensitive one. The relationship failed unfortunately, as I'm sure yours will eventually, especially if it's long distance. I've never heard of a successful long distance relationship.
Best for the both of you to move on now, before you get hurt even more.
2006-08-31 18:41:58 · answer #2 · answered by texasvanity 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys aren't really in a relationship if you see each other three times a year. I think I see the mailman about 2 or 3 times a month, but I don't think our relationship is going to get beyond "hey, how's it going?".
Seriously, you guys are both too sensitive about any discussion because you aren't spending any time together. Unless one of you plans on making a geographic change, don't feel bad about breaking it off. Life is too short.
2006-08-31 18:32:28 · answer #3 · answered by Scoob 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it depends on the reasons why you guys are in a long distance relationship. I'm sure since he's dating you, he'd like to be with you all the time but obviously he can't for some reason. So you should try to remember that it's not by choice that he is far away. I know you're frustrated but don't take it out on him. Why can't you visit him? I don't think he was out of line for feeling the way he did. At the same time, I don't think you're incredibly stupid either... just lonely and missing him.
2006-08-31 18:30:07 · answer #4 · answered by bunny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were insensitive and I would be surprised if this was the first time someone has accused you of trampling roughshod over their feelings. When you say "I obviously didn't mean it", you mean it was obvious to you. It apparently wasn't to him. Take your empathy out for a test run and try and imagine how he felt: That awful swooping feeling in his guts, a sudden and terrible fear of losing the girl he loves racing through his body. Apologize and admit your mistake. Sensitivity is a good quality in a man. You don't want to beat it out of him.
2006-08-31 18:40:21 · answer #5 · answered by Bethany 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO, you're not totally stupid - just a little insensitive. You need to nurture him and not make him feel like he should end the relationship. Next time be more careful of what you say - you have plenty of time to mull over what you're going to say - so think about how he'd likely take it before you talk - in other words, stretch yourself and pretend you're him listening to what "you" said.
Best of luck with that. I think it takes special people to not care what society thinks and keep up their LT relationship anyway.
2006-08-31 18:39:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are both in a stressful relationship, and emotions tend to flare up. As long as you know you care for one another, you will be ok. Long distance relationships are really hard, you have to baby the other person, otherwise you will lose them !
2006-08-31 18:35:53 · answer #7 · answered by Mx2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was a pretty messed up thing for you to say to him. I would have been totally pissed off too, and I am not even a very sensitive guy.
2006-08-31 18:30:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your boyfriend sounds really super sensitive.
2006-08-31 18:34:50 · answer #9 · answered by Sweet Pea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The latter
2006-08-31 18:27:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋