how can a 14 yo girl deal with gulty and resentment?

Question

About a year ago I messed up. Dont know what happened to me, a mix of bad feelings, especially jealousy. I ended up lying about lil sister, did things I'm ashamed of. I got a harsh punishment. Suffered a lot. Today things are settled, almost no one remembers what happened and I did so much for my sister that - her words - it was like causing a damage of $50 and paying $500. People like me, including children I volunteered to help. I think I'm clean. But I'm emotionally destroyed. It`s hard to explain how I feel it's related to my parents. I didn't expect what they did.Something broke inside me. My first source of love was destroyed, can't see them as love but as judges. I resent this.They say they are proud of me, but I can't talk to them, I avoid them, they will always remind me of what I went through and of my own mistakes I'd like to erase from my mind. I live lone and lonely, Since I'm clean, dont owe anything, sometimes I think about leaving this world. I'm free from my mistakes

Answer 1

Hmm. Since you won't tell us what to do, the only thing you can do is go to your high school counselor, be serious, and ask for help in getting guidance. You need to speak to a professional about how to handle your guilt.


BTW, seriously, how bad did you mess up? There's redemption where you least expect it if you honestly regret it. But who will give it to you may not help you sleep at night because you have to forgive yourself...

Answer 2

OK now let's put this all in perspective. It's over. You're forgiven. The first thing you need to do is force yourself- yes FORCE to get something going with your parents. The emotions you're experiencing are what's holding you back, but emotions aren't real- they're just feelings and feelings can change in a second. Start out slow. Spend some time with your mom and/ or your dad, look at her when she speaks- stop avoiding. This small act will put you one step closer to feeling a whole lot better. You really will. It will begin to change your perspective. How do I know? I went through this myself. Put yourself out there for other people and the result is you get a much happier life. Being in a family is complicated. Don't over analyze what happened, just move on. Think of it this way- your parents did what they thought they had to do. Part of growing up is realizing that every action you take has consequences. Your parents taught you this. To get beyond this, you need to look at it through their eyes and start making the effort to mend your relationships. No one needs to have an unnecessary bad relationship. Good luck to you. If you continue to feel so badly, please seek help. You may have depression and need medication.

Answer 3

First of all, suicide is NOT an answer. It causes more problems and is senseless.

Secondly, I can guarantee you that your parents love you. Things may have happened that blur either of your or your parents perceptions of the situation you find yourself in so it may not be the easiest time to talk without crossing wires. They may be thinking one thing when the say/do something, but you perceive it differently and vice versa. Remember, it is a two way street.

Have you had a chance to just sit down and have a serious conversation with them?

It is hard being 14. I has to be so much harder being 14 now than when I was 14, but as parents - we have been there - at least to a certain extent. Talk to them, please. If not, please talk to an adult - grandparent/teacher/counselor - you might be surprised at what their opinions are.

You are your own harshest critic. What happened in the past is just that - in the past. Live for today and revel in it! There is so much positive in the world. Sometimes we just have to look a little harder for it than others.

Your parents will always love you. They may not always agree with your actions, but you are still their little girl. (hey, even when you are 40, you will still be their little girl!)
Good Luck! You can do this!

Answer 4

Your parents are trying to teach you to take responsibility for your actions. Sometimes, small actions bring big results, as in your case. You may have caused $50 in damage, but by repaying $500 (taken from your words), you have learned a very hard lesson. You need to talk with your parents, if you don't feel that you can do that, try writing them a letter and leaving it for them while your at school. If this is still not an option, you could even try an adult that you feel that you can confide in, ask that person for help. You are certainly not alone in your feelings, and leaving this world is really not an answer. It would only leave more questions for everyone else. Please, talk with one of your parents, I am sure they still love you, parents do things that kids do not understand, but you will someday! Best of luck...

Answer 5

I've done some things I regret as well. The best way to deal is try to move forward. Try not to let what happened effect you still. It's hard to be alone and you have to develop a strong personality. If you went through that what can stop you now? You know what I'm saying? If you need someone you can really talk to you can email me [e-mail] a lot of my friends find me easy to talk to and a good listener. Okay. Keep your head up.
Peace.

-Cipher

Answer 6

I understand your problem completely,that's really what i went through too,even i had done something really worse in my life and my parents did forgive me for that too.But somewhere in my heart i have that guilt feeling,

All i can advice you is take a deep breath and try to keep that out of your mind and you can see that change within yourself,What i did was i tried to forget that,though we cannot actually forget that,but we can at least try,right???????

I am sure you can do that gal,wish you luck and hope that you will be out of that soon.

Answer 7

ok i'm below the impact it ought to have had to do with drugs and or acohol. maximum ppl dont seek advice from being sparkling except something like this has occurred. i'm in now way judging, merely making an assumption. Which leads me to what i'm attempting to assert. You cant substitute the previous, God is familiar with i might have by now if it have been humanly attainable. i'm able to assert that i'm sorry which you're feeling the bond you had became torn aside with your mothers and dads. in case you cant come to a element on your existence the place you are able to say that's over and executed with, then you definitely will walk an prolonged, no longer undemanding street in existence. As for leaving this international, that accomplishes no longer something. except you're attempting to now punish your mothers and dads. the two way you the two lose, suicide isn't the respond. December 2005 considered one of my perfect friends theory it became his purely source left. i comprehend for one i heavily isn't the comparable devoid of him in my existence. you're able to discover some elementary floor with your mom and pa. it ought to have regarded harsh, yet they love you. in the event that they didnt they does no longer have tried to easily right the incorrect. i'm hoping on your sake which you hearken to what ppl have published right here and people who're being stupid. you will discover that bond back, it ought to take sometime, yet you will ...merely take every day because it comes

Answer 8

Ahh. Lil ol emo girl. Might help if you actually say what happened. Instead of using broad statements like "it was like causing a damage of $50 and paying $500" Be more specific. And no, don't kill yourself. Your friends will laugh at you.

Answer 9

Don't do anything drastic now. It's not all that bad, trust me. i have had these feelings. I don't know what you did but it seems that you have changed and what ever punishment that was given, wither jsut or unjust has passed.

I think you need to talk with your parents honestly, I know it's hard but it will be good for you. Talking with a therapist would be good for you as well.

Things are not as bad as it seems, it never is. You just need to find your peace and start enjoying your life

Answer 10

Well first of all you need to forgive yourself! You need to get a piece of paper and write down all the things you said( you need to confront yourself and your past) all the people you hurt, the people also that hurt you, keep writing them on pieces of paper!! you should have all kinds of pieces and all those pieces will look like your hart! and put them all in a bagy and say this to yourself I put all this pain into this bag and really mentally try to put that in your mind that all that is bothering inside that bag, now here comes the good part tell yourself that what ever is in the past is in this bag and then Burn!!! that bag and this of all those names, words every hurt that hurt is in the past and everything from now on is forgiven!!!! you must believe it, and all that sin that burned in the past is gone!!! trust me it works...