Can you make me laugh?

Question

Tell me a joke that will make me laugh and you will get 10 points.

Answer 1

Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and u shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to u to bring a smile on ur face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp
http://www.indiabook.com/jokes/Entertainment_and_Arts/Bollywood/

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..

Answer 2

Five surgeons are discussing who has the best
patients to operate on:

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on
my operating table because when you open them up,
everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try
electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians
are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical
order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like
construction workers. Those guys always
understand when you have a few parts left over at
the end, or when the job takes longer than you said it
would."

The fifth surgeon shut them all up when he
observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the
easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no
balls, no brains and no spine -- and the head and the
a-s-s are interchangeable.

wahaha... "v

Answer 3

This farmer has 500 hens but no rooster so he goes to his neighbor and asks him if he could buy a rooster for $100.
The neighbor says, "You can have this rooster. His name's Roy. He'll get all your hens pregnant. He's a real stud."

So the farmer takes him home and says, "It's your first day so take it slow, okay?"

The farmer puts Roy in the hen house and then hears all the hens crying and yelling. Roy nailed every one of those hens and then nailed a duck and a goose at a pond.

The next morning the farmer finds Roy lying dead with his legs sticking in the air and buzzards circling overhead.

The farmer says, "Roy, did you have to die?"

Roy says, "Quiet! They're about to land!"
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John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you did take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you did not take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you do sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."

Lesson of the day...Don't Lie To Your Mother.
____________________________________________________

The Blonde & The Coke Machine

It was a really hot day and this blonde decided she would go buy a coke. She went to the coke machine and when she put her money in, a coke came out - so she kept putting money in.
And since it was such a hot day, a line had formed behind her. Finally, a guy on line said, "Will you hurry up? We're all hot and thirsty!"

And the blonde said, "No way. I'm still winning!"

____________________________________________________

A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory exploration. With their eyes closed, they would feel objects from pumice stones to pine cones and smell aromatic herbs and exotic fruits.

One day, the teacher brought in a great variety of lifesavers, more flavors than you could ever imagine. "Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these," announced the teacher. Without difficulty, they managed to identify the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher had them put honey flavored lifesavers in their mouths, every one of the children was stumped.

"I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's something your Daddy and Mommy probably call each other all the time." Instantly, one of the children spat the lifesaver out of his mouth and shouted, "Spit 'em out, you guys, they're assholes!"
____________________________________________________

hope you like them...enjoy!

Answer 4

A confused Shopper







Billy was on holiday in America and didn't speak very good English. It was his last day and he was heading to the airport to fly home, but first he needed to buy a few things.

He ends up going to the store and asking the clerk for some "BUM". She sits there and thinks for awhile and then says, "Oh you must mean gum."

Then he goes to the fish store and askes if he could get some "F UCK IT". The fish man thinks and says, "Oh I get it, you must mean Bucket (bucket of fish)"

Billy shakes his head as YES.

Then he makes a trip to the pet store and says, "Could I get a c ock and spank it?" The pet store owner says "Oh you must mean Cocker Spaniel."

Billy shakes his head YES.

He finally makes it to the airport where he will be catching his flight.

When he gets there he askes this guy...

"Could you hold my bum and f uck it while I get my c ock and spank it"

Answer 5

a man from the city moves to the country to start a farm... so he goes to the live stock store and says he needs a donkey... the man says here we call them a55es... so he says ok, and buys an a55

then he thinks a second and says he wants a hen... the salesman says here we call them pullits... he again thinks, then buys one...

he figures not that he has a hen, he needs a rooster, so he asks for one, and the salsman again corrects him, telling him that its a c0ck... he says ok. and buys it...

as he is walking out he is told that sometimes the donkey is a bit fussy and you just need to slap it and he will behave.

so he starts out to the truck and the a55 stops in the middle of the road... well a min later a cop pulls up and asks what the problem is... he says, " my a55 is a little fussy... could you hold my c0ck and pullit so i can slap my a55?"

Answer 6

A man goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him he has 6 months to live and then apologizes but hands him the bill. "But doc, I can't pay this!!" the man says. So the doctor gave him another six months.

Answer 7

ok, so theres this guy and he's going on a first class trip with his friend... everything is really luxurious and stylish, and so he's telling his friend how amazing it is, and his friend says: "if you think this is nice, you should take a look in the bathroom!" and so he goes and looks... and what he sees is a toilet with velvet padding, and 3 buttons next to it. so he decided to try it out, and so he goes, and then he saw the 3 buttons. the first one said BP, so he pushed it, and it started patting his butt with baby powder. then he pressed AD, which started to blow air on it (air dryer). then he tried the ATR button, and he woke up in a hospital 3 weeks later. he asks: "what happend? where am i?" and the nurse says: "you are in the hospital... it turns out that you pressed the ATR button." and he's all: "whats the ATR button for?" and she's all: "ATR is Automatic Tampon Remover."

hahaha!!!

Answer 8

i dont have any jokes which can make u laugh ha ha

Answer 9

if i cannot but u can ask ur friend 2 makes u laugh....or u can watches the stupid movie that u ever seen than u will laugh..... just give u some advised

Answer 10

You first.