Bite YOUR Nose To Save YOUR Face!?

Question

How does one keep respecting someone that does nothing more than disrespect in return....
( my mother in law is a monster in law!)
ANY ADVICE???? No CRAP answers
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

she's a very jealous person who is always in need of attention!

Answer 1

Is it the fact that she is demanding attention, or is she putting her two cents in where it doesn't belong.
I'm not sure that she is disrespecting you, just wants you to know that she is her son's mother and you are not taking her place. Yeah, like you'd want to do that right!!! Sounds to me like she is trying to make sure she doesn't fade out of his life. As the saying goes a daughter is a daughter all of her life but a son is a son until he takes a wife....there is a lot of truth to that.
My advice is be nice and social, avoid her and her conversations as much as possible. I have a friend who when her mother in law comes she has the house nice and clean and she leaves. She returns a couple of days after the visit and cleans up again and her husband and her discuss calmly the visit and that is it.
The mother in law gets her time with her son and the wife gets a few days at a motel with a spa and a massage or shopping...great trade and less stress for both.
Sometimes when dealing with people that you're not dealing well with the best is to avoid them.
My mother used to say, I never had a problem with my mother in law, I kept my mouth shut and was kind all the time and as my mother got older and at the the age of 80 she said she had no regrets. I think that is the goal, you don't need to have any regrets about your relationship with your mother in law as your husband is a result of that person...you point out her down falls, you are also pointing out your husbands pitfalls straight to his face...may turn ugly.
Try leaving, that works the best! And always be kind on the phone. They eventually get the idea you are not going to be bullied and they accept that they don't see you when they come to visit....you get a great dress out of the deal and piece of mind!!!

Answer 2

Ouch! Looks like someone forgot to cut the apron strings. Don't panic honey, this one is easy. I'm now the favorite daughter-in-law because of this. My mother in law use to come to my house and critcize everything because "it's not the way I would do it". Or she'd give me advice that is just way out there. She even went as far as telling my hubby that he could have done better. (that was my breaking point). From then on I quit taking it and struck back. Everytime she said something, I would come up with something witty, yet with a hint of insult that would make her stop and think. After a few weeks, she quit insulting me.

Examples: "Do you think you should be dressing like that?"

Probably not, but I'm not ready for those retirement clothes.

"what did you do to your hair?"

I went to that stylist YOU recommended.

"I heard dinner didn't turn out so well last night"

I can't see why, it was YOUR recipe.


I know it's sounds childish and you have to go tit for tat, but eventually she'll realize she's met her match and back off. Ya gotta have one for everything though so plan ahead!

Wish you luck!

Answer 3

some might say don't ever disrespect your elders but that fly right out the door after awhile OK sometimes you just have to turn the table let the them know they are being disrespectful an your getting tried of their mouth and their action your not a little kid stand up for you self as you can see nobody else is

Answer 4

My motto used to be "I give people as much respect as they give me". However, then I realized, what if they believe the same thing? In order to find out how much respect to give, you need to know how much the other is willing to give out first. If you thrive off nothing, then they are going to be rude and disrepsectful. That's why I try to be the one to give the respect I would love to have in return. And if I don't get it this time, then maybe the next.

That's what I believe, anyway.

Answer 5

Have you asked yourself why do you deal with your mother-in-law. Why do the two of you need to even speak to each other. I have been with same man for eight years and we are planning our wedding. I decided four years ago not to go to her home (unless I am dropping off the kids), not to call, or anything. You don't have to talk to her. Oh! and for holidays we decided that he goes to see his family, I see mine, and we meet back up for family time it works well. It has worked for four years try it.

Answer 6

I have the same problem. My solution has been to be cordial to her when I am around her. Smile, be polite, and just avoid any topics that may cause contention. That has gotten me through many holidays with my mother-in-law.

Answer 7

You can respect her by being good to your husband. Make your husband tell his mom to back off. It's his mom and he should do somthing about her. If he won't or she won't change then suggest moving to him. I got real lucky my mother-in-law lives 8 hrs away!!!

Answer 8

You can catch more flies with honey...keep your friends close and your enemies closer...you've heard these sayings before...If she's that needy...overwhelm her with attention and love...she'll back off as long as you don't do anything to spite her...in return it will make her crazy trying to figure out what your angle is....

Answer 9

You need to talk to your husband and tell him to handle it. He needs to talk to his mother and tell her to stop disrespecting you.

Answer 10

If I were you, I would get her alone and tell her that you feel hurt and tend to dislike her for her comments toward you.......Then ask her to name 5 things you have ever done to hurt or disrepect her and see what she has to say.........Worked for me!!!!!!