I love to laugh. Tell me a real funny joke please.?

Answer 1

Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and u shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to u to bring a smile on ur face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp
http://www.indiabook.com/jokes/Entertainment_and_Arts/Bollywood/

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..

Answer 2

A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."

Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the wife.

The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II luxury liner appeared in her hands. Then it was the husband's turn.

He thought for a moment and said: Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me."

The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish...So the fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember that fairies are female.

Answer 3

A brunette, a red head and a blonde were stealing from this store when the cops came so they had to get out. They go out the back and it gets them in an alley where they decide to hide. So the brunette hides in a dumpter, the red head hides in a barrel and the blonde hides in the potato sack. The police come out and don't see them so they kick the dumpster to see if one was in there and the brunette says meow so he thinks it's a cat and moves on. He kicks the barrel and the red head says ruff and he thinks its a dog and moves on. He kicks the potato sack and the blonde says potato...

Answer 4

how about a yo momma joke:
your momma is so fat and old that God didn't say "Let there be light" he said "Biitch get out the way"

and
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.

"You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named you daughter Candy."

He turned to the second Mom Ann, "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turned to the third Mom, Joyce, "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered,
"Come on, Dick, we're leaving

Answer 5

Jack and Jill went up a hill and each had a buck and a quarter. Jill came back down and she's had two fitty yo!......it sounds stupid on here, u just have to hear it on the radio.

~how about walking up to someone on the street and saying ''your face makes my soul wanna eat chocolate pudding"

sry, i'm not that great at jokes.

Answer 6

The Seven dwarves are in the Vatican City and the pope is addressing
the crowd. When there is a small pause, Dopey asks the pope if there
are any dwarf nuns in the Vatican. The pope answers, "No."

Later when there is another short pause Dopey asks if there are any
dwarf nuns in Rome. The Pope answers, "No."

After another pause, Dopey asks if there are any dwarf nuns in Italy.
The pope answers, "No Dopey"

Everyone is silent and Dopey asks if there are any dwarf nuns anywhere.
He answers, "No Dopey there aren't any dwarf nuns anywhere."

After he says that, everyone could hear six little voices saying
"Dopey screwed a penguin, Dopey screwed a penguin!"

Answer 7

a man is golfing alone on a course, and runs into another man alone on the golf course... so the get to chatting about their jobs.

the first says he is a ceo at a big computer company... the second reveals that he is a hitman... the first man is amazed... and starts asking questions... so the second man pulls out a sniper rifel from his golf bag... "see, i have proof"... so the first man is amazed.

the start talking about the gun, and the hitman starts bragging about the power of the scope... he says its so good you can probally see your house from here...

so the first man looks, and he can. he can see rite into his house. he then realizes that there is another man there... he is really mad, and contracts the 2 man to kill his wife... he says i want her to pay... kill her, but the guy doesnt know about me, so just shoot his 1ck off...

the hit man agrees, and says he will do it for $100 a shot... so he lines up a shot, and just sits... so after a min or two, the first man is impatient and says shoot already... so the hit man turns to him and says, "if you would shut up for a few mins, i think i can save you $100"

________________________________________

an older couple are sitting in a pew at church one day when the woman turns to her husband and says," honey, i just let out a silent fart, what should i do"

"when we get home, change your hearing aid battery"

Answer 8

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night, Holmes wakes Watson up: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce." Watson says, "I see millions of stars and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." Holmes replies: "Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent."

And...

An Iraqi General is waiting with a brigade of his best troops for the American Invaders to come over a hill. After a long time, he spots a lone American soldier marching up over the hill towards them. When the American is within hearing distance, he shouts at the Iraqi brigade, "One American soldier can take FIVE Iraqi soldiers!"

Then he goes back behind the hill. The Iraqi general immediately sends five Iraqi soldiers over the hill after him. None come back.

Five minutes later, the American soldier comes back up the hill, and shouts, "One American soldier can take TEN Iraqi soldiers!" Fuming, the general sends ten Iraqi soldiers over the hill. None come back.

Five minutes later, the American soldier comes back up the hill, and shouts, "One American soldier can take FIFTY Iraqi Soldiers!" By now the Iraqi general is really p***ed off, and he sends fifty of his very best men over the hill, armed to the teeth.

A few minutes later, one Iraqi soldier comes crawling back over the hill and collapses at the general's feet. "General!" he gasps in pain. "Don't send any more men over! It's a trap! There's TWO American soldiers!!!"

Answer 9

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman wave at
him and say hello. He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he
knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?" to which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party
that I laid on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery and then stuck a carrot up my
butt???"

She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's math teacher."

Answer 10

i cant tell u a really funnie joke but i LOVE to laugh......mi friends make me laugh ALL the time!