Discouraging my son from hanging with someone?

Question

How can I tell my teenage son that he should not hang around with this certain kid at school. The kid is definately a bad influence on my son.

Answer 1

Tell him, do not demand him! Tell him in a way in which he will respect, understand and accept...hes not going to want to stop unless he agrees with you...you have to explain to him why you feel the way you do to him to the point where he agrees (beyond the point where he just agrees and hangs out with the kid behind your back anyway lol ) and if you do it right, he'll listen.

Answer 2

Did this certain kid also teach you how to spell definitely, because he has definitely been a bad influence on you, too.

Whatever you do, don't tell your kid to stay away from that kid, it may make the kid more interesting (you know teenagers).

Tell him, without mentioning that particular kid, that you don't stand for drugs, drinking, etc. Then offer him an alternative in the way of more studious, positive influences his own age, and make that workable- give those kids rides, welcome them into your home- and give that bad kid a cold welcome in your home. Also, if you see that other bad kid, let him know your values as well in a stern manner, without addressing him directly. Say something like "I really would have a very bad reaction if I found out anyone was encouraging my son to do drugs (or whatever)."

Answer 3

Be HONEST! Let him know your concerns and why you see it this way. Hopefully he will make the right choice. if your son still wants to hang out with him dont say no , just "Oh well i was going to take you to pizza, or no there is a youth group at church , or wanted to start a project with you, well we were having family game night tonight "etc... If that doesn't work, next time they want to hang out have him come to your house, and scare him off, without your son knowing, make the kid think your a freek, tell him what you think when your son cant hear, then make mean faces at him. Childish, yes but effective, he'll be poopin his pants to get out of there.

Answer 4

Sit your son down and talk to him. Don't just demand that he stops hanging with this kid because being a teenager he might feel that you are just trying to pick his friends, and might pus him closer to the kid. Explain the reasons let him know that you love him and are really concerned about his well being. Ask him why he feels the need to hang with this person.

Answer 5

Maybe you and your son can turn things around and be a good influence on the kid. Why not have a fishing trip and invite him to join you. Perhaps he is trying to find a good influence to turn his life around...stranger things have happened.

Answer 6

Sit him down and and tell him. Then drive him to socially challenged neighborhood and show him how he could end up hanging around this kid. Paint a picture that your son couldnt turn into a positive and use aginst you.

Answer 7

i wouldnt come right out and say he cant hang out with this kid, because then he would want to hang out with him even more. just let him know he is at a time of life when choosing the right kids to hang out will a big influence on him and his future

Answer 8

I went to school with this girl we weren't friends I didn't even like her. Then my mother met her and instantly hated her she forbid me to hang out with her. That just made this girl interesting and made me like her. So I wouldn't tell your son not to hang out with that kid. What I did with my daughter when she had a friend I didn't like was I went to her school and picked out kids I did like that weren't friends with the bad influence girl. Then I strategically planned fun little outings for my daughter that included the kids I liked so she built friendships with them and forgot all about the girl I didn't like.

Answer 9

need his age, that would help.... I raised 3 sons, and yes they hung out the *bad* kids at times, and were even considered the *bad* kids a few times themselves.... and still are, even tho they are grown...... a bad influence huh ? sorry, dont believe in the term...... we raise our kids the best we can, we give them rules, guide lines, teach them morals and standards, etc...... when they are OUT and about the town, they have to make choices on their own..... they have brains in their heads and hearts to tell them right from wrong..... what your child does , he chooses to do on his OWN....... talk to him about all this..... talk to him about the way he was raised, and is trusted.... ask him if the *other* kid is the type of person he wants to hang with or be grouped with as *bad* ?? give your son the options of choosing for himself..... you might just be surprised.......... God bless

Answer 10

I have been there with my son. We as parents have to show our kids we have confidence to make the right choices no matter who they choose as friends. The words I used to say when they left my presence were this " Maybe I'm not comfortable with your choice in friends, but I expect you to make good choices". That last parting statement leaves the choice up too them, and ends the challenge between you and son. When you put this into play, it also lets him know you have confidence in yourself too as a parent. If you give that up, he has the power. Take care.... :o)