how can a 14 yo girls deal with guilty and resentment?

Question

About a year ago I messed up. Dont know what happened to me, a mix of bad feelings, especially jealousy. I ended up lying about lil sister, did things I'm ashamed of. I got a harsh punishment. Suffered a lot. Today things are settled, almost no one remembers what happened and I did so much for my sister that - her words - it was like causing a damage of $50 and paying $500. People like me, including children I volunteered to help. I think I'm clean. But I'm emotionally destroyed. It`s hard to explain how I feel it's related to my parents. I didn't expect what they did.Something broke inside me. My first source of love was destroyed, can't see them as love but as judges. I resent this.They say they are proud of me, but I cxan't talk to them, I avoid them, they will always remind me of what I went through and of my own mistakes I'd like to erase from my mind. I live lone and lonely, Since I'm clean, dont owe anything, sometimes I think about leaving this world. I'm free from my mistakes

I don't think I was clear, it's kinda hard to expalin how I feel

Answer 1

Okay...what exactly did you do? I can't really tell you anything except to talk to your family about how they have made you feel. Tell them that you've done everything you can to make up for what you did and you want them to know you are sorry. Tell them that you want to begin to make things better between you all so that you have a happy and loving relationship again. There's really not much of a way to fix that except for what I told you. If you need to, see about getting counceling for you and your family to talk things through. It might help. Good luck!

Answer 2

Honey, you made yourself perfectly clear. And to get this out of the way, I'm glad that you paid your debt and were able to move on from whatever it was that you did. As a parent, I can tell you that when our children screw up, we don't keep score honey. We understand that everyone makes mistakes. I believe your parents when they say they are proud of you and so should you. What makes them proud is that you learned a very valuable lesson and were able to correct it and get back on track...those are the things parents look at, not the mistake itself. Stop being so guarded with your heart and let them back in. You aren't emotionally destroyed, you just shut down and that happens to all of us at one point or another. We do something stupid, we think everyone is going to judge us for it and we go into defense mode to protect ourselves from anymore hurt. I'm not sure what your parents did as punishment for you and it makes it hard to comment on how to let it go, but I understand they did something severe enough that you aren't allowing yourself to look at them the same anymore. And that's where you have to realize that honey, even parents make mistakes too. It truly is time to let go of the hurt. And there should be no more talk about leaving this world either. Those childlren that you volunteer to help need you, your sister needs you and your parents need you. And if you leave, you are no longer free from your mistakes either. Taking your own life is a pretty big sin sweetie. God put you here for a reason, and he'll take you when it's your time. I know things are miserable now, but you have to start looking for some positive things. No matter how big or small. Because if you keep focusing on the negative, it will surround you, but if you focus on the positive, that will surround you to. Start taking some small steps honey, it's going to get better with time, I promise you that! And I think it's awesome that you are helping out other children in this world...I wish there were more kids like you out there!

Answer 3

Don't think of such sad things as leaving this world so soon... we all have our mistakes that haunt us in our minds. I don't know if you believe in God or not, but the Bible also tells us to forgive ourselves too. Its really a very good thing that you want to make up for anything you might have done. Don't be so sad, it only leaves you open to ideas you shouldn't be... be happy

Answer 4

dude im a 14 yo chick too. it sucks *** to screw up and have to pay more than wat u need to huh? same thing happened to me. only my parents wont look at me let alone talk to me. dont leave the world i tried and it usually doesnt work, i cut but i need to stop the counselers threaten to send me to therapy, just hang in there and in 4 years u can get the **** out of there. if u need sum 1 to talk to [e-mail]

Answer 5

Ok enough of the pity party !!!!..What you did is in the past it needs to stay there , so quit thinking about it......You need to talk to your parents ..I am sure they would like to have you talk to them