My stepfather adopted me at the age of 6. He had 4 kids from prev marriage. Soon after they came to live with us. 40 something years later, my Mother (not theirs) died. I found out the depth of their jealously at that time. Presently, 2 years later, our father is very ill with alzheimers. They have accused me of "stealing" my own Mother's things. A couple of months ago I was at his home and found him living in conditions not fit for humans. I contacted his niece, who in turn contacted human services. They were forced to do something. Two of my "sisters" got guardianship of him and his property and have placed him in a nursing home.
I have to read the obituaries to find out if my father is even alive!
I'm so frustrated. Does anyone have any good advice, suggestions, etc? Thank you.
2006-08-31 16:29:59 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
As an adopted child, despite not being "blood" related, you have "rights," including visitation rights... the nursing home MUST make allowances for visitation time or you can take the to court at their cost and confidently win. Your father may indeed be in an abysmal setting from the lack of caring from your sisters... I would make every human attempt to keep things civil and even "cordial" despite your feelings toward them and their evident feelings toward you. If there is any "durable power of attorney" sought at a later date, if it has not been done already, you may need to appear to be cool-headed in court to act in the best interests of your father.
You may also want to contact your lawyer to run the situation past him/her... there is also free consultation online. Is your father lucid at all or is he fully "out of it?" If the later is the case, you may want to seek some second opinions on the medications being administered... at least long enough to get him to a state of legal lucidity where he is able to dertermine who he wants to make the medical decisions on his behalf. Also you are gonna wanna read up as much as possible on alzheimers... so the courts see you as an informed and fully invested sibling.
2006-08-31 16:54:37 · answer #1 · answered by cherodman4u 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know which nursing home he is in and can you go see him? I am having this problem also. My brother who is 43 and addicted to crack was living with my father and mother and not working and using their credit cards and doing nothing for them. They were actually waiting on him. My dad also has Alzheimer's. Adult Protective Services got involved and we got him out of the house. I went there and it took me 8 weeks to clean the house. He destroyed a lot of the house and my husband has been making repairs. He took over the whole upstairs and was having deviant people there all the time drinking and smoking crack. Now my mother said she is letting him move back in the house in November. He has convinced her that I stole her possessions and killed her cats. My brother left 7 cats in the house and I took them to a shelter as my parents could not care for them and the house stunk. I wish you the best and maybe you can visit him at the nursing home. I am afraid if my brother gets in the house then the social worker will put them both in a nursing home.
2006-08-31 16:41:44 · answer #2 · answered by Misty Evenings 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are able you need to find a good place for you dad. Also if he has an attorney then contact him. He should have a will in place. Whether it's a living will or last will. Find out if he signed a power of attorney. There is a whole lot you can do but first would be to contact a lawyer and find out what you rites are. Then I would call your sis and ask her what she was thinking.
2006-08-31 16:35:39 · answer #3 · answered by jagbeeton 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a sad situation on top of an already sad situation. They probably believe that because he is their biological father he is more theirs than yours as was the case with your mother. The good thing is that he is being taken care of and their being guardians keeps them in the drivers seat. You can still visit with him...it will help you but not him as he will lose all his mental faculties over time if not already. You might ask them what you could do to help...I don't know what else to say but don't make it worse than it already is...or it will go on forever.
2006-08-31 16:37:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At this point, all we can do is offer sympathy and tell you to see a lawyer. Because it is clear there is more to this story than we have been told.
No, not all siblings grow up to have the same values; but this level of hostility between you and your sisters didn't come from out of nowhere. Maybe it isn't your fault at all, but maybe you helped a little.
2006-08-31 16:47:15 · answer #5 · answered by glenbarrington 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he adopted you I would think you could check up on him. If not, if you want to force the issue, you could always take your 'sisters' to court to visit your dad. Good luck.
2006-08-31 16:34:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
since he adopted you ,you are his daughter and have every right to see him and contact him and visit him.
2006-08-31 16:42:08 · answer #7 · answered by kimj g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋