Its been 2 years since I have had a friend apart from my sister in law or hubby. I'm a stay at home mom of a

Question

Its been 2 years since I have had a friend apart from my sister in law or hubby. I'm a stay at home mom of a 17 month old and I am pretty busy but I would like to make some friends who have kids my sons age. I'm really shy and I'm nervous about going out to meet new people because its been so long. My husband tries to get me to be friends with his friends wives but none of them have kids and they still drink and stuff. I'm scared to meet new people because I don't know what I would talk about apart from my son. I don't go out all that much. I'd really like to go out sometimes and do stuff with a friend my own age who has kids. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

There are lots of things you could do. Bring your son to the park, or to the library during story time. Join a gym, most provide daycare, or at least have a place that your son could interact with other children. You'll certainly meet other moms and/or babysitters/nannies that share your interests. :)

I think it's great that you want to get out and meet people, but it would be very beneficial for your son to be exposed to the outside world as well.

Answer 2

I was having the same problem. All the people that I used to hang out with don't have kids and don't like to talk about them but seance i stay home that is what my life is now so I really stopped talking to just about ever one i used to then I thought about meeting other mom my age a became very anxious about doing it. I finally deiced to post a want ad in the paper and at the grocer store for other stay at home moms in there 20's with kids around 2 and had great response you would be surprised at how may mom feel that way. now we have a play group that meets once a week and us moms also get together once a month for girls night it great we drink some wine and most of the time just end up talking about the kids but it just nice to be around other women that you can relate to. And who's lives are on the same track as yours. We also pick a book a month to read and that just gives us more to talk about. The best part is one of the mom husbands ended becoming friends with my husband and now we take family trips together and cook out and things that all of us can enjoy.

Answer 3

I know what you mean. I have an 8yr old and a 3yr old. You could take son somewhere fun like a park, a play center like the "Playroom" (I don't know if they have those where you live, basically it's a place where they have age appropiate toys, like ride ons, ball pits, inflatables ect.. You'll be able to meet people who have kids your age and that will be an easy way to break the ice. You will get talking about the kids and the conversation will just blossom from there. You could also join up with some sort of class wether at your local library or YMCA (or gym) where you and your son could participate. That would also be a great way to meet new people and make new friends.

Answer 4

My situation is very similar to yours. My husband moved to a new town last November and I haven't made any really good friends yet. I have a 2 year old and one on the way. I wanted to make friends with my neighbors, but somehow I get the feeling that they are comparing me to the woman who used to live in my house. I hear all the time how great she was and how clean she kept her house. So I don't feel like I can become really close with any of them. So the only "friend" I have here is my mother-in-law. I'd like a friend I can complain about my husband too, from time to time. I am joining a church and am going to start going to a bible study that is predominantly young mothers, if I can't make friends there, I don't know what I'll do. I'm very shy and find it hard to make friends.

If you need someone to talk to, even if it's just about your son, you can e-mail me. I have 2 or 3 friends all over the country whom I e-mail about mom issues.

Answer 5

As a mother myself, and a somewhat introverted person, I completely understand where you're coming from. It seems like the older I get the harder it is to connect with people and establish close friendships like I used to have. My life does revolve around my family and I'm not into the whole "going-out-about-town" anymore... so it does make it difficult sometimes to connect with other women who are still into that whole scene.

I can also relate to the husband trying to help you connect with HIS friend's wives... but I've found that this is sometimes more of a pain then anything. Just because my husband is friend's with her husband doesn't mean that I'll connect with her, ya know? So that makes it somewhat frustrating sometimes as well.

I find comfort in knowing I'm certainly not the only one out there... and I also like to consider this a phase in my life. It's difficult sometimes to even think of mustering up the enthusiasm or energy to ignite, let-alone maintain!, a meaningful friendship with someone... so I suppose the only thing to do is allow it to come about when and if it does and find solace in the fact that I'm certainly not alone.

Hopefully it will be easier when the baby is a bit older (perhaps when he is in pre-school or elementary school) you'll have more opportunities to connect with other mothers.

Best wishes.

Answer 6

I can understand that you don't feel like you can relate to couples and women who don't have the responsibility of raising a young child. Although some of them probably are very responsible and caring, and I don't think you should totally turn yourself away from the ones who could relate to you. have you thought of joining a play group of children and moms? this is an excellent way to make friends. Maybe through your house of worship? Or families on your block or in your apartment complex? Or maybe old friends from work or school who have young children? Your child is about the right age to start in a mother's day out. Maybe you can meet other moms in through such a program? I'll bet you can think of other ways to meet moms with little kids. I wish you good luck. You're on the right track.

Answer 7

Sure get out there and find a good friend , I tell you a good place to meet people especially with kids and that would be like a park there's always mom's there letting there kids play, so try it take your son to the park to play and I'm sure you will meet someone there to start talking to..I hope you have a park close by..

Answer 8

I know how you feel. I am a SAHM to. I have 2 kids. I dont have a lot of friends and I dont go out. I always feel guilty leaving the kids and I call and check up on them like crazy. I keep telling myself that right now they are most important and when they are older I will have the time to myself. Sometimes I feel like an outcast and I know that is crazy because I have no reason to feel that way. Just try little by little to get out. I think I should do that too. Just take baby steps....Ha ha lol.

Answer 9

Go to church, if you're a Christian, regular attendance and participation will let you get to know the other moms and see who has kids the age of yours. Keep in mind though, that while you crave some social interaction (and you do need it!) a 17-month-old baby isn't developmentally ready to play with another child. Sometimes you can get them to play next to each other, but not with each other. At that age, a child's favorite playmate is still mom or dad.

If you're not a Christian, type in 'mom's group' on local yahoo and see if there's a local mom's grou you could be a part of. Take your baby to the park, there's usually other mom's there, too.

Answer 10

You just have to force yourself to be a joiner. To make things easier consider things you like and incorporate them, here are some examples:

You like children: The Special Olympics needs help year round.

You like helping others: The Junior League is made up of strong smart women (some in the workforce, some with a job as hard as yours:) devoted to volunteer work and sisterhood.

You are crafty: What about those 3 million baby pictures you threw in that box in that closet? Michaels has scrapbooking classes chocked full of women who share a love of crafting and the families who fill their pages.

You want to hang out with your kid too... check out mommy and me, you might just find people who are in the same situation that you are in http://www.mommyandme.com/activities/index.php

Bottom line: having your own thing going on is the right way to go about it, friends through your husband will have a different feel than those who are 100% loyal to you. Friends help you keep a hold of yourself, which, I know, is easy to loose with a husband and kids. Everything on the outside begins in your mind. Imagine what you want and how you will get there, it really works.