I have been a guy for 5 years and just do not know to let him down. Any sugestions?
2006-08-31 15:30:58 · 39 answers · asked by newrosydays 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have been with a guy for 5 years. It has been a very hard road for the two of us with depression and everything else. I just cannot it anymore. How can I let him go and through to him?
2006-08-31 17:17:24 · update #1
Tell him you want him to always be a close friend, but you don't think a long term relationship is going to work out for what you want out of life from him, that after all these years you can see the incompatibility and that it is time to move on with both of your lives.
2006-08-31 16:00:19 · answer #1 · answered by curiousandsmiley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are talking about. You really don't have nothing to complain about but it has just grown old. But you both have so much built up together and it means a total split of everything and lots of things will end. I have been with my lady for 5 years too and we get along great but that is all. It is more like brother and sister anymore. No sex for well over a year and I don't think either of us is intrested in each other that way anymore. But she has done nothing wrong at all and is a very very nice lady.
But there is a point when it has to end but the problem is when. Maybe you can drift apart but that may never happen. It may have to end in a fight because one just starts don't what they want and the other fill find that to be a good enough way to end it.
But very hard to do I know. I just keep coming home and we keep building our world together and adding to our home. Which makes it even harder
Good luck but it will take a fight even if you told him it will still take a fight.
2006-08-31 16:04:24 · answer #2 · answered by Don K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you've been a guy for only 5 years, you are either not in a very long lasting relationship or are just now adjusting to a fairly recent sex change.
But...
If what you meant to say was, you have being [with] a guy for 5 years and just don't know [how] to let him down, then just tell him. If you drag this out (no pun intended) you will end up hurting him more in the long run. Besides if you are honest, maybe you will find out that he doesn't want to be with you either, especially since you have been a guy for so long.
2006-08-31 15:57:30 · answer #3 · answered by letum_ante_dedecus 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
EXCUSE ME? I don't understand the question!?! You have been with this guy for 5 years and now you want to get rid of him!?! OR Your now a guy and you don't know how to tell him!?!
If you have been with him for five years and now you want out, there is no easy way to do it. You better think carefully about what and how you are going to tell him. And, remember, once said, you can't take it back. You obviously aren't happy with what is going on in your relationship so try to utilize this in your conversation. Now, if you have cheated on him, might I make a suggestion? Do not tell him! This is stunning at any time. More so after such a long period of time. Do it in the evening and not in the morning. This may be difficult for both of you and if either of you work your shift my be compromised. Speak clearly and don't get angry! Don't yell or be accusing! JUst say that your life time expectations have changed and you both seemed to be traveling different roads. You must make it perfectly clear to him that the problems are as much your fault as his because you have changed and grown over the past years you feel it is holding him back as well as yourself, from the things you NOW want! If he asks what they are be sure to write things out before you speak with him. This will give you a chance to define your needs so that he or you are not confused. You must remember, that you have shared a lot with this person so he knows you as well as he knows himself, so be clear about the difficulties you are battling within yourself. If you are leaving him for another guy, DON'T! This is not condusive to growth! Now, I don't know you and haven't a clue what is going on in your life so be sure to remember this when you write out what your going to say.
Now, if you have been a guy for 5 years, I don't suppose theres much I can do to help you! I wouldn't even know where to begin. Good luck either way, and take care!
2006-08-31 16:26:30 · answer #4 · answered by wonderingmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that this will forever be a terrible struggle that happens to a lot of people. i think that you have to ask yourself why you want to get rid of this long lasting relationship... is there another, are you sick of the other person, are you not friends, have you been fighting, then think about how much those reasons mean to you and have meant to your relationship. then if you have all of those reasons to why you can't be with this person anymore, you might want to sit down and have a discussion about what has been bugging you. then if they won't come to terms you might just say sorry charlie.. and leave the vacinity. i don't know of any good or right way to tell someone that they aren't the one, but good luck! and may your decision be the right one!
2006-08-31 16:02:47 · answer #5 · answered by rose_2003cs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
St. Paul of Simon put it best:
"You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free"
I'm not trying to be flip, there is real wisdom in those words. Just do it, and then move on....
2006-08-31 16:05:52 · answer #6 · answered by PurplePenquin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ther is noit an easy way . you have to tell him and be domne with it
I told a person that i wa not itersted in eing a friemnd . it was not easy but I did it . be as cmpassionet as you can . Thnksabout how you would want some one opt end a reltionship with you
no one likes to do it . but if you are no longer inlove with himw you both need to move on .itwil not get any better and hard and hurtful in the end .
Trust me as the cliche goes been theredone tat
2006-08-31 16:06:55 · answer #7 · answered by crps_1964 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The next time he wants to see you tell him you need to have a talk with him. He will already know what is going to happen. Then just tell him that you are sorry but you want to end the relationship. It is a hard thing to do but you have to be able to do it.
2006-08-31 16:01:48 · answer #8 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do it gently. I went through that, I Loved Her and she wanted to move on....it took me 3 years to come to terms with it. The good side is , I got a Great Friend out of the deal
2006-08-31 16:01:20 · answer #9 · answered by lucky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say good buy and leave. But if you still have feelings for them give it a lot of thought before you ,or kick them out you may wish you had not later. But if they are abusive to you then by all means leave the jerk.
2006-08-31 16:10:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋