Why is it that when a good man comes my way I run away, and go for the bad guys?

Question

This really nice guy likes me and I think he is nice, but I broke up with him. I have this other guy that I have been talking to for 5 years on and off, who lives with his baby's mom. I can't leave him alone but it was easy to tell the other guy that I wasn't interested. It's not that I'm not interested I'm just confused.

Answer 1

I would imagine that in some way you want to help the person you love. You feel more useful when you are with the bad guy, because you keep telling yourself you are going to change him and make his life better. The nice guy makes you feel not quite good enough. He pushes you to do better, and that makes you feel uncomfortable.
You'd rather take the lazy way and have fun than to be encouraged to work hard and do your best and be a responsible girl. Some day, you may regret having made those choices. Those things tend to not work out very well. Some women finally realize, after numerous bad marriages and heartbreaking break-ups, that these bad guys just really don't want to settle down with anybody. You are not going to be the magic spell that makes him into something he is not. Women who live with those guys always end up looking much older and more worn out than other women their age. It's a hard life.

Answer 2

Its because of the challange. A lot of girls like what they know they have to work for. Its like a child who wants something and when you tell them no they want it more. The only problem with this is you will never be truly happy. If you are going for men with other women, or for a man who is not always available then in the long run you will be lonley. Its easy to tell the nice guy go away, cause you know you can get him back when ever you want. Me personally, I love to be in a relationship with a guy who is mine, only mine and treats me like im a queen. Maybe you will hurt one day and change, but I have seen women who just keep going back for more. You should try to stick it out with a nice guy one of these days. You might wind up liking it. Good luck.

Answer 3

Yeah, life's a *****, and then you die!! I'm a bad boy and I am attracted to the 'bad girls' side of life for the same reasons everyone has been speaking about, however I looked for a good girl to marry and we are happy with three teenagers two girls 13 and14, and a 16 year old boy...all on honor rolls most of the time, in the band, and other good school and community related groups; and my point is, that like many parents, we want our little ones to grow up better, smarter etc than 'we' did, so we hope to help shape their minds and choices...maybe lessening the chances that they will be picking someone like us! SMILE We are who we are, and we are A-OK! Hav'nFun2 Best of luck

Answer 4

There is probably a good chance that you have an unresolved relationship with your father. Pardon me for getting all Freudian on your ***, but usually when a woman repeats the same patterns of falling in with the wrong man, it usually has to do with dear old dad. If that winds up the case--go ahead and resolve it, even if it takes years. It'll be worth it, when you can have a good relationship. With the right guy.

Answer 5

because more often than not, "bad guys" give us the impression that they bring a bit of risk or danger with them. It's that sense that causes our adrenalin to rush much more than when we are with a good guy. Good guys are attentive and nice to us, which we will easily take for granted and forget about as soon as our heads are turned. It's part of human nature... we always want what we can't get... and bad guys are just that. It's something we can learn to be conscious and cautious about.. :)

Answer 6

Because women equate bad boys to excitement like someone else said. They look for guys like James Bond or Colin Farrell when what they usually end up with is Charles Manson or Jeffrey Dahmer. I am a nice guy who is dangerous but not bad.I mean I skydive, kayak, Muay Thai kickboxing, and shooting guns. I don't treat women bad they usually treat me like crap.

Answer 7

Most of us prefer the bad boy type just because of the pure thought that they are bad. The good guys are always left to pick up the broken pieces left by the bad guys. I have dealt with this myself. I always used to pick the bad guy over the good but I finally found one that changed my mind. You honestly need to forget about the bad guy.

Answer 8

THERES SUMTHING 2 B SAID BOUT BAD BOYS-so in ur case ure probably cant hang w/ a good man.it could b dat u like the way dat a bad guy treat u-but believe me after a while it gets old and ull b dyin 2 b w/ a good guy dats gonna luv u w/ everything u got in u

Answer 9

So many times I've said I'm changing to slip into patterns of what happened before. Time to take the initiative and decide what would make you happy, your the only one to do that

Answer 10

It's in your genes. Women are designed to be able to find a mate, bear a child and raise it. On a sheer biology level this is the primary function of your body; to reproduce.

When humans were still animals or cavemen. A good mate was someone who could protect you. A dangerous man has proven that he has that quality. So your attraction to dangerous men is your genes and your instinct taking control.

You need to understand the instincts involved, so you can rise above them.

Men are fairly simple creatures; it's in our biology. Men are geared to reproduce quickly and often. That is why sex can be so short for us; and why a picture of a hot woman is enough to get a man aroused. Men are capable of multiple relationships with multiple women. They can stay in a serious relationship, but only if they are willing to make the commitment. The biggest problem with men is that they often think with their lower head, rather than the one that sits on top of their neck.

Women are more complicated. They need to carry a baby to term and raise it. A picture of a hot man can get some women excited, but not for long--they need a relationship. They want to know a man, and they want to be able to trust him to possibly raise a child. Women are geared to hunt for a mate that they can raise a child with; it's in their biology. Women want a stable relationship with one man. A woman often seems to get less out of sex because their biology requires either multiple sessions or they require a longer session to insure that the male has a better chance of putting his sperm where it can create a child. This explains the women’s greater need for foreplay. They need to build up to a climax.

Humans are one of the few creatures that are always in “season.” A human can breed all year round. This makes it better for the male to spread his genes, and lets the woman use the allure for sex to hold on to their mate. When sex becomes less frequent the male’s attention may wander. Generating sperm is easy to do, and men do it in the thousands for most of their lifespan. Women have a set number of eggs and a period of youth and adult stages when they can get pregnant. Carrying a baby to term is a difficult, and often dangerous task, one that can only be attempted by someone who is very fit. This is why women have menopause and why after a time sex starts to lose its attraction.

Some women are attracted to the dangerous man. While at first this doesn't seem like a good idea, the dangerous man is more likely to win in any competition. If a woman is with such a man then she can be assured that another man won't try to take her away from him. Again it's all in the biology. Look at the lion pride. The strongest male has a harem of females. He gets them pregnant and they raise their cubs. The male has to defend himself against other rival males. He spends most of the night making loud growls to show the others that he is the dominant male, and he will fight off any competing males. When a new male takes over, the first thing he does is to kill all the old male's cubs. This puts the females into heat, and he can breed with them.

Unfortunately, since women are complex creatures they think that men are. This can lead to a lot of misunderstandings. Men are simple creatures; they look for the simple and straightforward solution of problems. Since men are less complicated then women we tend to have problems understanding them. Complexity doesn’t mean smarter than simple, it means that a different approach is being used.

Men like sports because it is a trial by combat. They may claim other reasons, but the most basic one is the combat. A male biology gears the man to be able to defeat his rivals and hold on to his mate(s). This is why men are better fighters.

Humans may be reasoning and intelligent beings, but they still have the same instincts that they started with. We are a lot closer to animals than we think. The difference between humans and the animals is that mankind can rise above their instincts. We can use tools, and change the environment to suit us. Once that happened though mankind became immune to evolution. We can attempt to improve the breed, weed out problem genes, and turn others on or off, but we cannot escape our instincts.

Our intelligence lets us rise above our instincts. A woman can be a soldier, but she may prefer a more caring approach. A man can be a homemaker, but he may prefer to go out into the wild and hunt (he often does this by getting a job). Women and men can do each other’s jobs, but their biology has defined roles for them and their instincts have to be overcome.

Men are better because they can see the simple solution to a problem and they will solve it without wasting too much time thinking about it. Men are better hunters and fighters.

Women are better because they can find a solution to a complex problem. They don’t mind taking the time required to think something out. They are more caring and nurturing. They are also able to work better together (except when hunting for a mate).

You need to rise above your instincts and go back to that nice guy. Sexually he may not be as appealing as the dangerous man, but you know he is a better man for you. When you start engaging in sex they there are some mild bondage games that you can play which will make your "nice guy" seem more dangerous. Say a scenaro where the police officer arrests the naughty speeder, who wants to get out of a ticket. Or how about a pretend kidnapping. The key to making these scenaros work is having a key word that will end it no matter what, and doing some good acting and roleplaying.

If your relationship is advanced enough for this then check out Fuzzy Handcuffs for costumes and gear. They have some really good prices, they ship it in a plain package, and they have a wide range of items.
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