am i being selfish?

Question

me and my boyfriend are on the verge of splitting up. he speaks to me like i'm nothing etc. my family is moving away and if we do break up then i want to go with them, i asked him to consider coming with me and he said that there is nothing to consider. we have a 2 year old son and i am taking him with me. yet he doesn't think that there is anything to consider. i'm only moving 40 mins away and he can drive so don't think that i am taking his son away from him. i live in a council house he has asked me to put it in his name and leave it for him when i move. i don't want to do this. when we were happy we dreamed of buying the house extending it etc, and now me and my son are going i don't want it to turn into a pimp pad. hes already said that he will move in another girl. am i being unreasonable if i say no? after all he has the option of coming and i want to leave the house with the memories that i have from here rather than him live out my dream with some other girl. am i unreasonable

Answer 1

why aren't you married?

Answer 2

I'm not sure what a council house is but it may not be that easy. If this is a type of public housing then it is not up to you to sign it over, you can't legally. He says there is nothing to consider and you have a 2 year old with him?

Why should you do everything he asks and he won't even consider your request. No break it clean don't leave anything behind, tell him you are sorry that he feels you and your child are not important enough to him, and that is one of the reasons you are staying with your family, he is not offering you any security, he does not respect you honey. Tell him that you want his son to know him, and that will never change and give him the address and so on. Find someone who really cares for you you deserve better honest.

Answer 3

I think you are doing the right thing by leaving and not giving him the house. It would only cause you pain and frustration if you left him the house. Use this move as a jumping off point to a new beginning with your son. Moving 40mins away is not taking your son away from him. Do what is best for you and your son. Be strong!!!!

Answer 4

you're bf has no consideration for you or yours and his child. And by no means give him the house. If he says hes moving another girl in he probably will. He sounds like a conceited and insecure man and you don't need that in your life.You are definitely not being unreasonable. He says he has nothing to consider and I assume he means his son.Obviously he doesn't care about either of you, only the house.

Answer 5

Is there any way to patch things up, give each other some breathing time. When we are angry we say things we don't mean. (Been there done that). So what I am trying to say is, you are not being unreasonable and you feel hurt, I hope that you can patch things up. But if he is being really mean even after you have given him breather time. I would move on and out with your family and start some new memories. Good luck!

Answer 6

No you are not being unreasonable.
You gave him the option to go with you and the baby.
Try just talking to him and if he is not getting the point then
still be married but let the baby visit him OK? OK.
I will know how the kid will fell if you two split up.
I was five when my parents split up .
So just hang in there it
will get better OK ? OK.
Love Nicki!

Answer 7

Are you kidding? The only selfish person in this relationship is him...He is definitely unreasonable and appears to be unresponsible as well. If he wants to date someone else, let him provide his own arena to do so and you should of course allow him to visit his son but go where the love and support is...Your family...He needs to pursue his own living situation...Take it from me, I made the mistake once and that individual took extreme advantage of my willingness to help him out...Remember, you are a woman, it is not your responsibility to take care of him, it is his to take care of you and the child that you both brought into this world...Do what you know in your heart is right for you and your son...Pray on it or what ever you do for your source of spirituality, but know that as a woman and a mother, you have to make decisions that will mold your child into a good man...Not into a user, abuser or slacker...IF you leave the house, he must leave it too....Hope this works and I will definitely keep you and your situation in my prayers....

Answer 8

You are not being unreasonable at all. And if you don't want to put the house in his name so he can live there, then don't. He sounds like a real loser, so just get rid of him completely.

Answer 9

In other circumstances I would let him have the house. After all, it is nothing to you who lives there after you are gone. However, his telling you that he will be moving another girl in is obnoxious and unfeeling, never mind his poor treatment of you and his total lack of interest in his own son. He cannot act this way and still expect you to do him any favours.

Answer 10

no you are not he just told you what he is going to do with the house so go let him find his own pad and then he may not take it out your name and leave you responsible for any damage that he cause move on cause he don't seem interested in his son and he is only concern about him self let him go good luck

Answer 11

You are not being selfish or unreasonable...worry about what is best for your child and do that. Don't give him the house unless he buys out your interest. You deserve better!!

Good Luck!!