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ok here's the thing: my granmother is blind, she lives with my mother and me...we take turns "babysitting her". But this is puting so much stress in my life, when i get out of class i have to hurry up and come back home...she is so depressed and so lonely[ she is very lonely even when we stay with her] and that depresses me[ i have a very depressive personality but i try ot be happy as much as possible]...we do everyhing to make her happy but it's not working...i dont know what to do anymore...OMG like i hate going home but consenciously i cannot not go home, i can tleave her by herself, she ges so scared, she honestly thinks that someone will break into the condo and do sometihng to her...i dunno what to do anymore..FYI: we dont have lots of money so remember that in your suggestions..thank you

2006-08-31 14:37:05 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Family

she refuses to go out and is on medication...not working.

2006-08-31 14:50:17 · update #1

24 answers

It's understandable that you're having difficulty dealing with the situation. #1 you're young and it's a lot of responsibility to place on you. #2 it's hard to see your grandmother in this position - vulnerable and feeling helpless.

While spending time with your grandmother right now might seem like a chore - when she's gone you'll be thankful that you did. Try to make your time with her productive and special. Find out as much as her as you can - what was she like growing up, what were her hopes and dreams, how to she meet your grandpop, what was your mom like when she was little? Try to turn what you see as a negative into a positive learning experience for both of you.

Also a suggestion, check with your local hospital or social services for support groups to help you and your family get through this. They're often free and may be able to provide you and your mom with the help you need.

2006-08-31 14:53:01 · answer #1 · answered by sunssecret 3 · 1 0

First,
God bless you and your mom. Other people in the family should help but, I know how that is. Now. There are services that can give you respite care which is someone that can help you on occasion and give you both a break. You are a human being and no one can do that care around the clock. Please ask for help. It is not a bad thing. Just call Social Services and ask them to refer you to someone. It could be mental health, a church or something like that.
Do it and know that the blind fall under a certain type of disability that is treated differently that any other. It is open to more and extra types of services so, you may find more out there that you know.
She is entitled to reading material free, Braille through mail or library and free training. You are entitled to help and it may do her good to be around someone who is not there 24-7 and can give her extra attention because they are not so downtrodden from the care. You need a break!!!!
My dad was blind. He made wallets and pocketbooks for years and they sold them for him. Just make the calls and see what happens. Look in the phone book under disability organizations, you may be surprised.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and your mom and grandma too! Bless you all!

2006-08-31 15:00:17 · answer #2 · answered by MISS-MARY 6 · 1 0

Honey, this, too, shall pass..........these are simply the stages of life we all go through. I am sorry you are going through this so young, but hang in there and love her right where she is. You don't realize it, but some day, you will look back on your life and feel so good about having had the opportunity to give so much of yourself to someone you love. Just because she is depressed doesn't mean you have to let it rub off on you.....that is part of growing old and you are not the old one.....do you have a church where you could ask for volunteers to help a couple of hours a day to sit with her??? Think of all possibilities of people being willing to volunteer their time with the elderly. You might be surprised at the willing people.....

2006-08-31 15:08:52 · answer #3 · answered by Cassie 5 · 0 0

She should go to a doctor for her depression. Get her out of the condo. Take her for walks around the neighbourhood and describe what you see. Let her smell the flowers that you can pick and describe them to her. Ask her about her childhood memories and have her tell you of your mom growing up. (do this when your mom is not around, it is more interesting this way.) Get your grandma involved in a project. Have you ever thought of doing your family history on her side. You will need names and dates of birth and death etc. These are things that only she might remember.

2006-08-31 14:55:28 · answer #4 · answered by older woman 5 · 0 0

This is how life is, sweetie! One must make sacrifices. But, there could be some help in the community. Call the Society for the Blind and get some direction. How about a church??? There is always places to go for assistance. Call the County Mental Health Department for guidance. Seek and you shall find!

2006-08-31 14:51:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Bless you poor heart, what I difficult situation for you to be in. Well, what about elderly day care or some kind of elderly services available in your area (often free) that will come, pick her up, and get her involved in activities and such. At places like this, most of the time there will be a psychiatrist who can evaluate her and talk to her. Being away from home and having something to do and to look forward to can really help you all out. I really hope you get some helpful answers here, it sounds like you can really use it!

2006-08-31 15:51:26 · answer #6 · answered by swrong 6 · 0 0

Tough spot to be in I know. There are very good places for help. Contact the services for the blind in your state. There probably is an office near you. They do have money and have many ways of helping. You probably can find the address and number in the white pages under government offices and or state offices. These are usually a separate section of the phone book. This is the best place to get help. They have people to teach her how to manage many things herself and provide counseling to help her get over her fear. The blind are better funded than any other disabilitie. Please do get in touch with them.

2006-08-31 16:05:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

What about contacting a place like Lighthouse For The Blind. We have one locally and if you could find a place like that nearby, they could give her the special training she needs to learn to cope with her disability.
They could also help her to do some volunteer work close by and that would get her out of the house. It would put her in contact with others with the same disability and then she wouldn't feel so alone.

Good Luck and God Bless her.

2006-08-31 14:53:13 · answer #8 · answered by nana4dakids 7 · 0 0

You know what? It's better if you give your granma a lot of attention!!! Make here happy. She's old and now is the right time to make her feel very important. We don't know if she will stay any longer. So make it a happy time for her. It's better if you read her stories or tell her about what happens in your school!!!! Just enjoy it!! Don't get tired of her. She's your granma! She's a part of your family so it's not bad if you would take care of her!! Just make her happy for the rest of her remaining life and I am sure, THAT HARD WORK WILL PAY-OFF SOMEDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-08-31 15:00:37 · answer #9 · answered by dark angel 1 · 0 0

Maybe try getting her into some sort of choir! I don't know if you go to church (that's where I normally see choirs for the elderly) but if you don't, shop around... I don't know if there are any in your neighborhood.

Even if you can't find one, maybe get her an instrument to play (she won't be able to sight read, but she can teach herself if it's something like the recorder or tinwhistle). The instrument thing won't get her out of the house, but music can be very uplifting.

Does she have any friends her age? Try getting them together, or maybe she could go to community events & block parties to make some new ones. All the best!

2006-08-31 14:59:58 · answer #10 · answered by pseudonym 5 · 0 0

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