I feel that it's not abnormal to feel so strongly so soon. It's known that women will tend to use the part of their head that's attached to emotions while guys will use more of the logical part of their head. Since you've only been dating him for only a month I would give it a little more time. It's important for your son to have a father figure that is willing to be a father. I'm sure there's a lot of single parents here but I guess I'm coming from a different viewpoint as someone who hasn't had the pleasure of having a real father.. but I won't get into any of the details. It's important that, at some point in time if it does get serious, that you and your boyfriend communicate the idea of committing not only to each other but also to your son. For now, don't back off - I would just enjoy the time you have with each other, and when the time is right, he'll let you know... if he really wants to be with you until death do you part, he'll let you know. Avoid over-analyzing (I know, I know, it'll be hard, but you'll kill yourself and you won't enjoy the time you have with him if you keep thinking too much.) I feel that it's too early to ask him where things are going between you and him, and that you should wait a little longer just to give you more time to understand him, what he's like, habits, his past, what his aspirations are, etc.. but eventually you want to be asking him where the relationship is going after a little while - and only you can make that choice as to when that will happen. If he tries to make up excuses and avoids the idea of commitment then that should send signals to your head that he's not that into you (and your son for that matter.) True, the first little bit of any relationship is always fun - because that's the time you use to make your impression and you're up for doing anything that's new and exciting. We always long to be loved and to love at the same time.. but for the sake of your son, and yourself for that matter - be patient. Who knows, maybe after you've seen him too much you may not be that interested in him anymore.. works that way sometimes unfortunately.. I've dated a few where the spark just dies out after a little while and then the relationship gets downgraded into a friendship.
Good luck, I hope things work out for the better. :)
2006-08-31 14:49:53
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answer #1
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answered by DJ 3
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I would take it slow I also had a similar situation. I am/ was a single mother of four when my husband left and disappeared pretty much. after about 3 years I started seeing an old friend of the family in a dating situation as well not allowing my children to see it the same way the feelings were very strong right away like you are saying and it has been 5 years we are still together but I still didn't and wouldn't rush into it and I wouldn't let your children know the relationship you are having yet you can introduce him as a friend but nothing more until you know for sure. you do seem to have a good head on your shoulders so take it slow for the sake of your son.
2006-08-31 15:00:07
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answer #2
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answered by susan 3
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The only way you will know for sure is to give it a chance. Your good if you already know his family and your friend if it is a good friend Knowing who you are and what you have been through will not set you up with just anyone. You should talk to your son and let him know about him. Then set up a playdate in the park with you, your son and him. And see how they interact together, Once you know that. Let this guy know from the start that first and foremost your son comes first. And it is very important that they both get along. Being that your son has not had that male persona in his life he will pretty much adapt to this guy and your son needs a man in his life to teach him the things we can't. All will be ok, Just breath and allow it all to come together, Give this man a chance., Your son's father has sent him to you so you can move on and so his and your son can have a positive male father figure in his life..... Just talk with this guy and make sure you are both on the same page when it comes to the important things. Good luck. Don't deny yourself and your son love and happiness..
2006-08-31 15:37:03
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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All's fair in love and war. Do what you feel is best. Don't let what could be a wonderful thing slip away because you are unsure. By all means, protect your son, but don't use him as a crutch to not get involved. See where the relationship goes. The first time I had that feeling, I had been dating a guy for a few weeks, he turned out to be the man of my dreams and he has never once made me regret my decision to fully pursue my feelings.
2006-08-31 14:37:51
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answer #4
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answered by Almond_Joy82 2
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Proceed at a sensible pace regarding your future. And, don't be afraid to bring your child into the picture when it comes to dating.
You must be very careful not to give that shut out feeling to your son. The 'I'm doing it all for my son routine doesn't work'. Because by looking at it from your sons eyes, your may be excluding the boy from your future plans.
It is a tight rope, but, properly handled can lead to a happy future for everyone. including you son. There is nothing wrong with going on a date to the park and having a picnic that includes your son.
The point is...do not exclude your son from the dating process. It will give everyone a chance to see how things will look for the future. Include your son in your future plans by not leaving him alone to hear about your dating activities.
Kids become adults and they remember as you must remember...'What's good for the goose is good for the gander'. Be a family 24/7 and you will have a brighter future.
2006-08-31 15:20:13
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answer #5
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answered by marnefirstinfantry 5
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I'm a single father... I don't think four years is really that soon. I have the same problem because I don't want to confuse my son with different women coming over for dating... However, there is nothing wrong with dating or a serious relationship... I just want to make sure my son knows he is number one no matter if I'm dating someone or not... If the relationship gets that serious, you have to keep in mind that it involves your child as well and you have to keep your child's interest at heart....
2006-08-31 14:36:53
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answer #6
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answered by dudeabides 2
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The fact that you have known the family and obviously get along with them is probably the reason you are "falling" so soon.
I would take things slowly for the time being because it isn't only your welfare to look out for, but that of your son as well.
Don't get to thinking that your son has to have a father in his life to be complete. Grandfathers can be a father figure to him. My child's father died before she was a year old and that was almost 17 years ago. We have been on our own ever since.
2006-08-31 14:37:39
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answer #7
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answered by pipi08_2000 7
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I do believe some people can know if someone is right for them right away, but that doesn't mean to move fast, you still need to take time just to enjoy each other and find out new things each day. You have to be careful with your son, which sounds like you are doing fine with that. Just remember to take things one day at a time, don't rush things to fast. Good luck with things.
2006-08-31 14:39:34
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answer #8
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answered by Katie Girl 6
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take things easy... it is so easy to fall in love with people in any situation...
be careful that its not th efirst guy that has given you attention since you were a single mum...
be honest and just enjoy it...
dont worry about what will happen in a years time... enjoy what you have now... in about a years time work out where you would like this to go... by then you should have seen the best and worst of eachother...
always in every situation your child should come first... if at ever he tries to stop you... do something abou t it...
make sure you can trust him completely with your child... before you let him in your life forever
by him being a friend of the family... he would know what he is getting himself into... and it sounds like he is doing it becasue he has true feelings for you... a friend of the family wouldnt go out with you just for a good time as it is too risky... but he sounds like he has done his homework and honestly cares for you and your little one...
all the best sweety
2006-08-31 14:58:12
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answer #9
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answered by Anonymous
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I might not be 25 but I am a parent. I honestly believe you can feel like that about someone so soon. I met my husband in September of last year and in October I moved in with him and we found out I was pregnant. We got married a couple months ago. I couldn't be happier and I am completely in love. I think you should just follow your heart but still heed what your head says. Good Luck! I hope I helped.
2006-08-31 14:48:39
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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