Please help...?

Question

I yearn for my parent's love. That's all I ever do. But behind my back, all they do is say how I can be better. I can't believe I was so blind... so naive... so childish.

My father... he's the worst. Almost every day, he calls me stupid for dropping little things and tells everyone that I weigh too much behind my back. I can't stand it. When I tell him off, he only beats me...

My mother pays all her attention to my sister and I get nothing. When I'm hungry, I have to make my own meals. When I'm lonely, I have to go out with other people.

Worst of all, they don't care. They won't even listen. They don't know anything. I don't know anything. I bet if I run away, they won't care... probably will be relieved...

I can't stand the pain anymore. I really can't. I was living on a love that wasn't there... now what?

I'm not fat... at least I think I'm not. I'm 5' 3" and I weight 110, isn't that normal?

Answer 1

Baby, all I can say is, you can't make someone love you. I was in a similar situation and I am a stronger person because of it. Don't ever care about what ANYONE thinks about you! Love yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror and think about all the things your good at, all the things you enjoy doing. You sound like a sweet genuine girl and you need to REALIZE that. You know the saying that says, ' like yourself and others will like you' ? Well unfortunately that does not work for LOVE. But learning to love yourself is a great start. Who cares what anyone else thinks. Live each day knowing that when your 18, honey your on your own and make the best of it. You CAN make your life what you want it to be. If someone like your parents can't show you love, MAYBE they don't DESERVE yours! There is someone out there wanting and waiting to love you and you WILL find that person. Just give it time and hang in there. Remember. A good FRIEND can be a great support. Or, hey, try this. My best friends parents were better parents to me at times than my own. Look to others outside your family for support. Take care of yourself.

Answer 2

Let me start off by giving you a great big ((((HUG))). I grew up in with the same type of family you have so I know exactly what you are feeling. Your parents do not know how to be parents to the type of child you are. It has NOTHING to do with who you are. You are a wonderful person and you do not need to change to please anyone. They are the one with the problem. I know it is hard to live with especially when you have to watch your younger sibling get the love and attention you yearn for. I wish I could say it will get better but in my situation I am not 36 and things have not changed. My parents still adore my sister and rarely come around me. A positive to look forward to is one day you will have your own husband and family that will love you unconditionally.

For now surround yourself with friends as they will be a good support system. While you are at home spend time in your room doing something you enjoy. Before you know it you will be 18 and can move out and start your own life. If you ever need to talk you can email me at [e-mail].

Good luck!

Answer 3

Start saving as much money as you can!! I don`t know how old you are but when you are 18, get the F$&* out of that house!! Live on your own, get a room mate, anything will be more healthy than what you got. You can`t make some one love you. If you lose weight and stop sropping things he`ll just find something else to mess with you about. There are plenty of people out in the world that would treat you better than that. Do you have any other family around maybe?

Answer 4

First of all I have to tell you that I am very sorry for the way that your parents treat you. I had a simalar problem growing up with my dad, he treated me badly also. I don't think that running away is the answer to the problem though. I can't tell you how many times I thought the same thing. I happen to know that my dad now knows how I felt then because I have told him of course he dosen't admitt to treating me that way but I let him know just to make myself know that it wasn't my fault the way things were. Is there anyone that you can talk to that would maybe sit with you and your parents to maybe be a medium in the situation. I also had the problem with my sister they treated her like she did no wrong but I knew differnent. I never told my parents how she was because that was just wrong to do so.
I also hope that this will not hurt you when you get older like it did me I was so unsure of myself that I questioned everything I did. I never thought that I was good enough at anything and was never pretty enough either. I know now that I was wrong to feel that way because I am a good person. Please just try to seek someone that you could talk to.

Answer 5

Don't listen to your father when he tells you you're overweight. What does he know? It's your body, not his. Just remember that revenge is the worst thing ever. Once you get your revenge, they'll get theirs, and a cycle has started. I can understand that it's hard, really. The best thing to do would probably be to talk to a friend or call for some help at a hotline. I'm sorry, but that's pretty much the only advice I've got to offer you at this point. I hope everything gets better.

Answer 6

Ok, sounds like your parents are doing the best they can with what they have.

Sounds like you have wants and desires that need to be met by:

ready for this?????? You!

You can make a list of what you want to receive from others, outside of your family, and guess what?

Others may treat you just as badly, or worse yet, ignore what you have to say.

I believe you have much inside that a guidance counselor at school, or a special teacher, or church minister may help, just to listen.
Perhaps you may be a counselor someday, just dream away of what your needs are and how you can ask The Almighty to make your wishes come true.

Running away is not the answer because you still take you with you. All you need is within you now, just allow yourself to think and plan to meet your own needs and wants. There are many others just like you...........only they don't know it.

Keep trying Kid, and I know you will make it!

Answer 7

Your father is verbally and physically abusive. Your mother allows your father's behavior, and also neglects you. You can do nothing and things will stay the same. Or you can tell someone, a teacher, a school counselor, or a doctor--all mandated reporters--and things can change. You know the damage such treatment has done to you already. You talk about running away. Please don't do that. Things can be much worse on the street. You won't find love there. You probably will find people who want to exploit you.

Please get help for yourself. Tell someone.

Edited to provide a link to toll-free teen help lines. Includes numbers for International, Canada, and USA:
http://teenadvice.about.com/library/weekly/aa070500a.htm

EDITED to say: Your weight sounds healthy to me. Your father is again being abusive. You are upset about comments about your weight, so that's where he attacks. Gosh, has he ever heard about eating disorders? By continually commenting about your body like that, he can increase your risk for an eating disorder. Please don't let that happen. (A counselor can help you.)

Maybe you can go live with a foster family or an extended relative? Please remember, you do not owe these people anything when you are older. You can completely cut them out of your life if it would be better for your mental health. That may sound extreme, but have they given you much other than pain? Good luck, and take care. A counselor or therapist can help you sort a lot out. Your school should have one on staff. Please search him/her out.

Answer 8

There is a true story about child abuse, written by the victim: The Boy Called It.

This person was horribly abused but overcame his painful past and went on to lead a better life. So positive in fact, that those who do not know him well enough never had a clue that he was neglected and abused as a child. He is now a happy adult.

During his childhood, he found comfort in books, as the books showed him beautiful places in his mind. Reading not only made his physical and emotional pain vanish; it also developed his mind that he was able to pass his studies easily.

I suggest that forgive yourself for any error real or imagined. Please know that this situation need not hurt you.

Tomadachi, you are a special individual and I believe in you.

There is hope for all.

Answer 9

Honey I feel your pain:( I wish I could do something to make it better for you but I can't. Did you ever sit down and have a talk with them? Running away won't solve anything. Do you have any family members who will take you in and give you the love that you need? what about friends or there parents? This is something I would need more info on to give you more advice.

Good luck with what I have told you and remember GOD loves you. If you need to talk more e-mail me @ [e-mail]

Answer 10

in some ways ur parents r right & in other way u. but both have a point.almost every parents love their children u should never humiliate them or do anything that they have to walk in shame.i am sure that they lov u. atleast if they won't show it outside they really care for u inside.i understand ur sister thing it's not fair.but u should also try to cook.u should also not make situation where ur parents get angry on u.u can make them happy by even small ways if they r at work try to clean the home try to cook something for them & u should also try to less ur weight avoid junk food like crisps,choclate etc eat in morning & night only or u can eat all times a day but the quantity food u eat according to dialy procees can be reduced.
u can trust on ur parents but not ur boyfriend.
forgive me if u did not like or i upset u at any point .hope so u like my answer. bye