EVERYBODY. What would you say to this couple? Assume they believe the same as you do. This is hypothetical.?

Question

A guy and a girl are dating. One night the man, angry over something else, takes his anger out on his girlfriend, and puts her in the hospital. He later comes back and apologises, and promises "it will never happen again". She forgives him for the attack, but says "We are through!" and breaks up with him.

He accuses her of not really forgiving him, and says if her forgiveness is "real", that she will take him back.

What do you say to each person, according to your beliefs?

Answer 1

First I would compliment the girl on her strength and tell her she did the right thing because she could end up dead the next time. She should forgive him for herself to heal her spirit now that her body is healed. Letting go of the pain and anger by forgiving him.

I would say to the guy. That he needs to look at why he would do something so horrible to a person he says he cares about. If he does care about her he should learn through taking anger management courses how to constructively communicate so when he does find someone else he would be able to participate in a relationship in a healthy manner. I would also ask him if he truly wanted her back for her or because the lack of control he no longer has on her. She does not ever need to put herself in physical danger to prove she is a forgiving person.

Answer 2

I think he should get professional help. In this case, forgiving him would be worse than confronting him.

I do think that she shouldn't hold a grudge against him. She shouldn't let him affect her in that way.

The problem is that the word "forgive" is a rather vague one. It can be used in either of those senses. You can use the word to mean absolve someone of wrongdoing. That's the first sense I used it. I don't think a wife beater (or girlfriend beater) should be absolved of any wrongdoing unless that person does something to deserve it. The other sense of the word is to try to understand another person's point of view and consider the value of the whole person, not a specific action. This, the woman probably should do. The man is a beater. He needs to get some help. That does not mean he should be just killed off. He is still redeemable to some extent.

As far as my religious beliefs go, I'm an atheist and a humanist.

Answer 3

To her: Good job and stick to your guns.
I cannot know if she truly forgave him or not but the truth is that most men who will abuse once, will abuse again. For some reason abusers are just like that, they rarely rehabilitate, especially over something like this. On that note I hope she really did forgive him.

To Him: Sorry man, but you really need to work on your temper before you do something else that you are going to regret. I would suggest that he get counseling for real because if not he could turn into an abuser for both the girl that he is no longer with but to another person as well.

You do not have to forget, nor continue to put yourself into potentially dangerous situations in order to forgive.

Answer 4

Just because a person is forgiven does not mean that there are no consequences for their actions. If I were to get angry and burn a $100 bill, my husband would forgive me. But the $100 would still be gone and he wouldn't feel the need to replace it. Those were my actions, I would have to live by the consequences. My example involves only a material item---yours involves physical harm to a human being! Our religious beliefs are very strong concerning being responsible for our actions by living with the consequences we create.

Answer 5

I say that they shouldn't get back together! His idea of "if her forgiveness is "real", that she will take him back" is just his opinion, and he is in no position to judge what her forgiveness entails. He is also trying to manipulate her into getting what he wants without respecting her. Regardless of her status of forgiveness, he ruined the dynamic of their relationship. To forgive is different than to be an idiot and put oneself in danger! I hope she pressed charges too and got a restraining order. I cannot tolerate domestic abuse of any type, and the woman must be very strong and loving to offer such forgiveness.

Answer 6

To her I would say:

There is a Proverb that says, "Be as wise as a serpent, but as innocent as a dove."

I think that means to accept that some people are just how they are and if they hurt you, stay away from them. But also, to be innocent, in other words, don't be guilty of the same thing.

So, I guess, according to my beliefs, you can forgive him, but end the relationship too.

To him I would say:

If you go on your knees before God Almighty and ask His forgiveness for what you did to her, and you truly meant it, you would be too humbled to even THINK of demanding a reconciliation. You may request, but you are entitled to nothing.
You are lucky God didn't just zap you.

Answer 7

My belief - Christianity

This guy has no idea if she really forgives him. he has no right to accuse her.

This girl could really have forgave him but realized that God didn't want her in a relationship in the first place. If she followed God's instructions it would have never had happened.

Answer 8

One has forgiven someone when one nolonger harbors any ill will towards the offender. That dose not mean you have to like the person and you do not have to trust one who has proven untrutworthy. You are not required to assoiciate with the one forgiven...it the "hypothetical" case you cite... the woman should have a restraining order aginst the *&^&^%$ and he shold not be alowed within the same state.

I am of the Christian Faith by the way

here is a link to a page from my website that you might find interesting... it is my pov but I do not think it contradicts God.
It is about "submissive wives"

http://pages.zdnet.com/mikevanauken/outreach/id56.html

All honest seekers welcome

Answer 9

You can forgive someone and still have the common sense not to continue an abusive relationship with them. God wants us to be righteous, not stupid.
The girl did the right thing.

Answer 10

I'd say he sounds manipulative. He needs counseling-you put your girlfriend in the hospital, she doesn't come back.
And she shouldn't forgive him, which he should respect. She'd be crazy to take him back- once an abuser, always an abuser.