ok here's the deal, i dont want rude comments or anything judgemental just an honest opinion it's all...ok here's what happened, i'm 21 and live with my mother...i wanted to work but she told me to go to university first, then work after [ that's how it's done in our culture and no i'm not arabic]. so i decided to take her advice since she's my mother. now because of that every single time i go out she b8tches in moans BUT when talking ot her firneds she complains i stay home to much...when i go out at night she complains. because of that i barely have friends or a social life. i'm finally a senior in university and going o law school, now she wants me to stay home also for law school so i can save up money [ u r not allowed to work the first of law school and only 20 hours after the first year]. but i dont have a life, i'm not existing you know..i dont tihnk it's fair cause my granma used to treat her the same and she gets mad and upset.any advice? plz be nice i'm as depress asit is.
2006-08-31 13:35:48 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
right now i CANT get a job cause i have 7 classes that i'm taking plus preparing for the LSAT for law school
2006-08-31 13:40:53 · update #1
I did talk to her! she told me i'm a drama queen which i am not...that's the thing about leaving the house, i'llhav huge financial probs, that plus law school i dont know
2006-08-31 13:42:57 · update #2
i guess what i'm trying to ask is should is tay at home for law school thus saving money or should i go on campus or you know and be in financial debt but with a chance of being really happy...people would tell me to jus tbe happy, but i have to honestly think about the consequences...
2006-08-31 13:45:22 · update #3
Your mother seems torn between hope and fear and you are suffering because of this.
Her hope is for you to fly and become successful. Her hope is that she will give you more than she had. By giving you support and a home she is trying to make your life easier. When she speaks to her friends about you I hope you can hear how much she wants you to be happy even if this hope is couched in complaints that you don't go out enough.
You Mother's fear is two-fold. She is obviously afraid of loosing you as you take off from the house into the world and she is afraid she hasn't done enough for you. She wants you to fly but not to far and not to soon.
You are a wonderful daughter for accepting this mixed message without lashing out or growing bitter. You confusion is as clear as your love for your mother, and it's understandable. Hopefully understanding her struggle will lighten your burden and allow you to reassure your Mother, perhaps gaining greater freedom in the process. Tell her how much you appreciate what she has given and how she will always be the center of your heart. Let her know what a great job she has done with your life. Then tell her how you see your life and what you want. You might find that she will now be confident enough in herself to give you greater respect and freedom you desire.
2006-08-31 13:53:45 · answer #1 · answered by bobb1 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your mother is a controlling person. If you can accept the fact that is the way she is then that should release some of the pressure you are feeling. You are an adult now and can make your own decisions. You also have every right to sit your mom down and talk to her about this. Let her know how she is making you feel. She should be proud that you are going to law school and should understand the dedication it takes. Also remind her to remember how she felt when her mom treated her the way she is treating you.
Good luck!
2006-08-31 13:40:21 · answer #2 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you really need to get out! Have you tried to get a student loan for the amount that a dorm room would cost? Law schools don't usually give grants, but loans are generally available. Talk to somebody in Financial Aid at your school.
You are an adult now, and you need to have some control over your own life. If that means that you need to take a couple of years off between college and law school, that would be unfortunate, but not as bad as staying in your present situation. I hope you can get out very soon! Good luck.
2006-08-31 13:50:28 · answer #3 · answered by Maple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Studying for a law degree is a wise decision. Your mother is right about staying home due to your limited income, but she is wrong about the way she treats you.
If you decide to move out, it will be very stressful financially but you may find the life you are looking for, or you may not. You don't know until you make the leap, but it could be the best or worst decision you ever make.
It is really up to you, but think long and hard on it so you won't have to live with any regrets.
2006-08-31 13:40:18 · answer #4 · answered by Traveler 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its sounds like your arent doing anything that you tuly want to do. if you are happy about going to lawschool and enjoy it then let your mum know that if not tell her you are unhappy and u are doing this for her. remember your happiness is what matters and only u know what is best for you. you are an adult and u are free to make your own choices. law school is a big thing and it can lead you into great buisness. just tell her you are working hard here and u need some time to mingle with friends because your social life is as important as your career. when i was growing up (i am only 23) my social life and hagning aorund friends was all i cared about and dont get me wrong i i am happy i am a mum now but i could have been a poilce officer like i wanted to be. and now i wont get that chance.
once you graduate and get a job in law u wont have much time to mingle woth friends just tell her that! maybe she will undrstand.
2006-08-31 13:47:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a major problem there at your house and it really isn't fair to you its understandable that she loves you and you love her but you do have to have a social live with people your own age and this is a great experience for you going to law college and don't be depressed you are going to be a lawyer one day and you are making something of yourself and be proud of that . Good Luck in college and hope everything works out for you at home and also remember you have only one mom and she is really your best friend believe or not. Take Care.
2006-08-31 13:46:36 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to her about how she felt when her mother did the same to her? Maybe you could ask her what it is about you going out that bothers you. Could it be the people you are going with or the places you go? Sounds like you were raised in an old fashioned home like I was. Just try asking her these questions and see where that gets you. Hope I helped!
2006-08-31 13:40:25 · answer #7 · answered by Aj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kinda in a bind girlfriend....sometimes the extra expense is worth your happiness, your very young and by the time you graduate you'll have the freedom and the $$$. She means well I'm sure, us mom's just can't help but be *********.e.s(hormonal or something), Sounds like you've really tried following her rules. The ultimate choice is still your's.
2006-08-31 13:54:15 · answer #8 · answered by tamara.knsley@sbcglobal.net 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I`m sticking with you, I`m made out of glue. What a Liberty! You didn`t come right here to be insulted... human beings casting aspersions. this could desire to be nipped contained in the bud. The very theory . We believe you , you're a doctor. no longer chatting ,, typing merrily at will. adverse Will!
2016-09-30 05:33:05 · answer #9 · answered by boland 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's a rough situation...my best advise wouls be to simply talk to your mother, remind her that you are not a child anymore, and that you need to do what makes YOU happy. Yes, it may be tough and it may cause a fight, but you are now in America, land of the free, and so on; you can do your best to appease your mother, but you still need to be true to yourself.
2006-08-31 13:41:54 · answer #10 · answered by Roy W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋