A guy that was married asked me to go out to dinner. We were at a work conference so I went. That night he told me how unhappy he was with his marriage and his life and at one point he told me he liked being with me. I was not interested but instead of saying you are married and I am not interested, I started talking about how I was still in love with my old boyfriend (NOT TRUE). Afterwords I felt bad that I couldn't just tell the truth. A guy that knows both of us told me I did the right thing by telling him I was still in love with my boyfriend because I saved his ego. I said I could have just told him he was married and still saved his ego. He said no because he would still pursue me. I disagree....who was right?
2006-08-31 12:33:10 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Here is a married man, no matter that he was unhappy, that could be true, but probably not. And he was hitting on you.
Now you are wondering, if you should have lied to him, to spare his ego.
You should have slapped his face, forget about his ego. He was willing to cheat on his wife, and have you join in his deceit.
Okay, youj were too kind to him, and feel bad that you didn't tell the truth.
I think he just took you by surprise, and you just did what came naturally to you. Let him down, and spare his feelings.
You were being a kind and caring person, so nothing to be ashamed about or mad at. You did what you thought was right, at that moment.
Don't second guess yourself, you got out of the situation, and that's the end of it.
If he has the nerve to try again, then you can really unload on him.
Don't fret about it, it's not worth your worry.
2006-08-31 12:41:39 · answer #1 · answered by johnb693 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How cares about his ego if he's thinking of cheating on his wife. You didn't do anything wrong, but if he brings it up again, just be like I'm flattered, but you are still married and I am interested in someone else. That way he knows where you stand.
2006-08-31 19:38:40 · answer #2 · answered by starlet_80 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always tells the truth. This guy is a sleaze to come on to you. who gives a crap about saving his ego? He's got a HUGE ego to hit on someone when they are married. He needs the wind knocked out of him and be brought back to reality
2006-08-31 19:40:22 · answer #3 · answered by Elizabeth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend was right. What you did saved the guy's ego AND let him know you weren't interested. If you'd only said it was because he was married, he would have kept trying to convince you it was ok.
2006-08-31 19:39:03 · answer #4 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you did the right thing by staying away from the married man. the reason you gave him is not important and who cares about saving a married mans ego.
2006-08-31 19:37:54 · answer #5 · answered by burn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What would it have hurt to tell him the truth? Who cares about this guy's ego? He probably makes a habit out of hitting on women he thinks are naive enough to fall for his crap.
2006-08-31 19:37:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should have told him that you were not interested & explain to him the reasons why! @ my current job, there was an older man that was married w/ children...& asked me to lunch. He told me of how he had a crush on me & that he & his wife were about to divorce & I made him happy...blah, blah, blah!! I just told him flat out that #1 I was not interested #2 we worked together & I wanted to keep it professional # HE WAS MAARIED #4 I was in a relationship!! I have had no trouble out of that man since ~
2006-08-31 19:40:45 · answer #7 · answered by BooSha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that this day and age marriage isn't as sacred as it should be, and if a guy likes you he will still pursue you. Regardless of the fact that you claimed to be in love with someone else.
2006-08-31 19:37:37 · answer #8 · answered by Jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u were right. he shouldn't have been cheating anyway and you would have been better by just mentioning that he was married and letting him know that you werent interested. he was cheating. who cares about his ego?
2006-08-31 19:39:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it does not matter who was right. You both are. He is. You are. You did the right thing by not letting anything happen.
2006-08-31 19:37:47 · answer #10 · answered by Chris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋