I love my girlfriend very much, and she loves me very much. Neither of us have ever experienced anything like this before. There are problems, like any relationship, but generally we can work through them. There's just one problem in particular that I can't deal with, and it's been going on for ages. My girlfriend is late for meeting me all the time. Sometimes hours late, sometimes just half an hour or something. She'll tell me a time and arrive nowhere near it. Sometimes she has ok reasons for this, and for not calling, but sometimes the reasons suck. I don't mind stuff coming up and being late, but when it would be incredibly easy for her to call and let me know, is it wrong to think she should? I'm gradually losing all self esteem in this relationship. She keeps saying she'll try to change but she never does. I don't know what to do. I really don't want to break up. I always end up forgiving her even though I know she'll keep doing it...
2006-08-31 12:05:41 · 14 answers · asked by Lance 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know she's not screwing around. And sometimes she does have good reasons. It's just sometimes not. She does care about me, I'm sure, and love me. She says that when she's late she just thinks about hurrying, instead of about letting me know. She also said she doesn't think she can change. I have told her many times. Usually after she's late we row but it feels like it doesn't accomplish anything. I don't think I can be late for her, because I don't really want to keep her waiting, even though she treats me like that. If I gave her an ultimatum, I don't think I'd be able to leave her if she didn't meet it. Thank you all for your answers so far...
2006-08-31 12:20:28 · update #1
I assure you this will work...it's called behavior modification..works on childrenas wekk as adults: Say " I love you, but from now on I will not wait one minute past the time I have said. It is very important that you DON'T. Don't be mad when she calls (even if she is) just remind her what you said. It will only take a couple of times of this and she won't be late. Of course, this means you can't be late either..lol.
2006-08-31 12:12:56 · answer #1 · answered by Peanut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's rude to be late personally. If you matter and it's important then a person will make that change, if not and they know you will be placated with any reason, it will continue because you are enabling it to happen.
You are showing up for the relationship and seems the other person isn't, hours late is ridiculous.
Someone better be in the hospital, car wreck or a death in the family- I'm talking bone has broken through the skin or bleeding- anything else isn't acceptable at all.
We all have the same parts, she can't be that hot in the sack, Find someone who respects you and that is concerned about your feelings.
If it were a man late that much with lame excuses you'd think that they were screwing around.
good luck
2006-08-31 12:13:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm.. That one is kinda tuff.. If you really dont want to break up with her, and you have already told her how you feel about it maybe ( I know this might sound a little childish) but it might work... Try doing it to her a couple of times, just so she could feel what it is like to be left hanging. Otherwise you are just going to have to deal with a person who is always late. Some people are just like that. I had a boyfriend once who was always late. He had no conception of time. I knew he wasn't doing anything wrong so I delt with it. Was annoying though. Even if he went into the store to pick something up like a loaf of bread I would sometime be in the car for like 30 mins waiting. He would get preoccupied with something else like a magazine or something lol..
2006-08-31 12:13:01 · answer #3 · answered by jam_psb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may not even realize it is a big problem. I am the same way. I am never on time for anything. I try and try and try. So now when i have to meet someone they always tell me to come an hour earlier. Anyway, i don't think tardiness should be a reason to end a wonderful relationship. Work with her. Find out what happens. It could be something easily solved.
2006-08-31 12:11:24 · answer #4 · answered by thesweetestthings24 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's playing you. Maybe doing that annoying being late on purpose. Is she seeing some one else? Sure hope not. Get serious with her and give her the ultimatum either she's on time or it's over. Seriously. Stop putting up with her halfwaywardness. She should make the effort and love you enough to change or maybe she doesn't really love you. Hmm. Put your foot down and tell her what's what. Either me and be on time or we're done.
2006-08-31 12:10:23 · answer #5 · answered by dave_83501 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a very bad habit and inconsiderate. Teach her a lesson by keeping her waiting a time or two. Maybe she will get the message. The other possible solution is to tell her a time that's an hr. before when you will actually meet.
How does she handle Dr's appointments and school? If she is on time for those, she can be on time to meet you.
2006-08-31 12:12:44 · answer #6 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Lance,
Deal this by telling her you guys should make a planner and
make timings for stuff you guys do!!!!!
If that doesn't work you just be late and when your
girlfriend asks you where have you been then say
that's what she does and it is bugging you and things will turn
out for better for the worst.
Love Helpful Hottie,
2006-08-31 12:14:13 · answer #7 · answered by helpful hottie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is completely disrespecting you. It's one thing to occasionally run late, but if she is truly so late so often, it shows that she is not placing importance on you and your feelings. It shows that she feels you are at her disposal. She does not deserve you. By continuing to put up with it, you are enabling her bad behavior. If you move on, perhaps she will see the error of her ways and realize that she must change. If not, you're better off.
2006-08-31 12:13:31 · answer #8 · answered by beadtheway 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you guys need to talk. Go to a small coffee shop or something and calmly tell her how you feel. Tell her you love her and that you feel sad when she cant make it on time to see you. If she keeps doing it tell her again. Its like baseball; Three Strikes and your out. If she really does love you than she will try to do better.
Good Luck!
2006-08-31 12:09:35 · answer #9 · answered by ducky_lucky_123 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
people never change. However people do better themselves. I think you should never think of breaking up if you love her.Instead help her become more organized, being late frequently is like a disorder that took me many years to overcome.
2006-08-31 12:11:58 · answer #10 · answered by Mayrah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋