I dont know how to get closure (Please Help)?

Question

I am a 17 yr old male. about 6months ago one of my bestfriends came over which was a 18 male too, so yes it was homosexual of what i done. had came over and lets say at the end
of the night i ended up giving oral sex to him. and he gave me oral sex.... today (6monts later) we are no longer friends and i dont like him because he ended up hitting on my new girl friend. and now i feel competely guilty and feel like i wish i never done it. now im stuck with this for the rest of my life. i dont know how to get closure for this and i feel it makes me less of a man that i did this ... i need help, i wish i can forget this but i cant. can anyone help me?

Answer 1

just let it go . . .

or go see a counselor to helpyou get over it . .

Answer 2

It is absolutely normal to experiment sexually, even in a homosexual encounter. Many, many more people have tried something than you probably realize.

Look at it this way: you experimented, you found out what it was like, and now know it's something you don't want to do again. Perhaps it's better that you KNOW you don't like it, then to keep wondering.

To me, it's not much different then wondering what Sushi (for example) tastes like - trying it - and finding it disgusting. You may wish that you could remove that memory of the taste, but you can't. AND having this memory just serves to help you avoid trying it again.

You are NOT less of a man. In fact, you've just proved to yourself that your sexual preference is strictly female.

You will probably continue to feel very awkward around this guy, which is okay. He could be feeling the same way. Don't feel guilty about what sounds like a mutual experiment.

One act does not define who you are; it's learning about yourself and strengthening your identity for the future.

Answer 3

I am not going to put you down, just because you had this kind of experience does not make you less of a man. Just let it go, I am sorry you are not friends with this guy anymore, unfortunately we all do things that we are guilty for. Time will heal your hurt with this, it sounds like this guy was not a true friend anyway. It is just a shame you had to get hurt like that. If you feel you need help then talk to a counceler. You will be able to get through this in time. Best of luck to you. I hope you are still with your new girlfriend. :)

Answer 4

You shouldn't beat yourself up. The past is the past. We all have done things we regret and we learn to just accept and move on. I know there are things I have done in my past that occasionally I knock myself in the head for.....Are you upset over the loss of a friendship?, Are you threatened that someone may find out? Ask yourself these questions and be honest with yourself about the answers. You know, he may be feeling the same way you are about this. If all else fails, seek help from a counselor.

Answer 5

Firstly, you've got to forgive yourself. That guy played you, but that doesn't make you a sucker. (If you fall for it again, then it does.) You're young (I've got 40+ years on me), so you've got to give yourself plenty of wisdom leeway. Sometimes it takes years to learn how to spot an *** in lamb's clothing. You just got your 1st lesson. They come in all shapes, colors and sizes. You'll meet many others along your journey in life.

How were you to know the selfish intentions of that jerk? Pity him -he's obviously a slave to his dick - and trust me- that brainless head will take him to either a souless, ever-unsatisfied place or straight to a life-long disease. He also appears to have zero morals (hitting on your gal). You may never get to see it, but that karma will come back to him at some point in his life.

As a man, you've got to learn how to overrule the little head with your brainy head and your heart. Think before you act! You might make a mistake here and there. That's perfectly normal. The trick is to persevere and keep trying not to do stuff that could be hurtful to you (or anyone else) afterwards. Eventually, your wisdom IQ will increase to the point where you can just trust your gut feeling. It took me decades to realize my instincts have always been right- I either didn't know how to listen, or I rationalized and didn't listen. But in retrospect, my instincts were always right. I'm still amazed by that. Wish I knew a long, long time ago. Such is life!!

When I was your age, I was just learning about my sexuality and I tried "making out" with another woman. It didn't feel natural or fun to me, so I didn't do it again. (I'm not condeming homosexuality at all. That's personal and an individual choice of free will.) That episode bothered me for a while, but I learned my sexual perameters, so in the end it was worth it. I am certainly no less of a woman, no less desirable, no less certain of myself for having experimented in my past.

You won't forget it. But you can make peace with it and accept it as a valuable lesson learned. You are now even MORE of a man because you know more about yourself, you know more about how you want to be treated, about how you deserve respect, about how you will treat others and about how you now know how to spot the jerks, idiots, brainless fu__s that are, unfortunately abundantly out there in this world.

Walk in confidence and that little, experimental lesson you learned will fall out of your memory and just become the little building block in your life that it is. You'll be fine.
Kudos to you for asking for help. That's awesome!
Be well- and do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Answer 6

Well...look...it is all a sin...wether it is with a dude or a gal and you're not married it is fornication...so try to remember something..lying is a sin...stealing...sex and not being married...all kinds of things are sins in Gods eyes...just ask God to forgive you...and tell Him you are sorry...and forget about your experiment...it meant nothing..now aday's there is so much trash on television telling people that everything is so acceptable,..that inow adays you almost don't feel right if you don't try something weird or kinky...it is wrong in Gods eyes, and that is who you need to get it right with...He will take it from your heart...but you have to ask Him through His Son, Jesus, or it won't be heard..

Answer 7

Girlfriend, homosexual encounter...sounds like you need to find out what your sexual preference is. Take your time and please don't hate yourself for what happened, chalk it up to a life experience. I have a lifelong best friend who is gay, and as a teen he went thru this, boys, girls but deep down inside knew her perferred men, came to terms with it and has no regrets . No matter what you decide you family and true friends will love you for who you are, not what your sexual preference is. Good luck to you and hang in there, you are young and with maturity you will now what to do. And as for your x friend that is hitting on your girlfriend, well he does not yet know what he wants either.

Answer 8

You're only 17 and it's normal to "experiment"...it does NOT mean you're gay, nor is it anything to feel guilty about. It's unfortunate that the friendship has suffered, but don't beat yourself up over something you cannot change.