The child will lie about the smallest things. Making up far fetched stories. And steal just to give the stolen item to someone else.
What can I do?
2006-08-31 11:28:52 · 13 answers · asked by Dr F 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm sure you are at your wits end in dealing with this problem. I sympathize with you. I was a kid like that as well. If my parents would have focused more on my good qualities and less on my negative ones, and praised me for the things I did right, I would not have felt like I had to seek out attention in other ways. If your child is stealing just to give things away, it sounds like he's trying to make people like him by giving them gifts.
Maybe you could help him clean out his room and put all the toys and books he doesn't play with anymore in a box and take them to goodwill. In the process, you can explain to him about the numerous children he will be helping by his generosity. I do this with my daughter about twice a year, and she looks forward to it.
Also, give him a creative space to call his own. Whatever his interests are, tap into it. Painting, drawing, molding with clay, let him go crazy creating things, then ask him to tell you about it. Make up stories together about pictures he draws. Sometimes kids who lie consistently just need a creative outlet. Sometimes they need to do something really physical, like karate.
I know my ideas might sound a little far-fetched to some people, but I was this kid. These things would have worked with me. And I'm guessing you've already tried the spankings and groundings and such. Good luck!
2006-08-31 11:46:26 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs.Fine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is probably an underlying problem. It's going to be hard but you have to find out what that problem is. It may be that he/she doesn't feel like they are getting enough attention. Try to spend more time with your child when you're not focusing on anything too complated such as playing cards, playing a board game, doing a puzzle. I wouldn't recommend watching tv because each of you can get lost in your own world in watching tv and tune the other out. And as you spend more time together you'll see that your child will become more comfortable around you and may not need to do drastic things to get your attention.
2006-08-31 11:40:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's lying to get out of punishment, it might be worth a try if you punish him only for lying and not when he makes mistakes or does other annoying stuff.
You could also try explaining to him that dishonest people always lose out in the end.
So maybe lying will get him out of punishment once, and stealing will get him a toy he wants once, but people will hate him after that for a long long time...
Nobody will want to be his friend.
Nobody will let him play with their toys.
Nobody will let him do anything he wants to do because they will always worry about him doing something dishonest.
2006-08-31 11:52:54 · answer #3 · answered by lily w 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The child is mentally disturbed and will require professional help. Take them to family counseling. Simple as that. There's no quick fix or punishment that will change this behavior. They're acting out because of something seriously wrong mentally. Maybe it's their environment or maybe a learning disability. Just take them for counseling if you want real improvement.
2006-08-31 11:36:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The local police would be more than happy to help you out with that 1 or a boot camp for the week end would even help straiten him out but spanking might not do the job but when the fear of losing all freedom comes along you learn quick when your a kid
2006-08-31 11:52:32 · answer #5 · answered by dugbug63 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take him on a visit to a jail. Explain that this is where those things lead.
A police officer will arrange a visit. Maybe even lock him in a cell for a bit.
Don't threaten, just take him.
I did something similar when my son and friends played with gasoline and matches.
I took them to a fire station and let a Fireman talk to them. It helped.
2006-08-31 11:40:12 · answer #6 · answered by ed 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
NO..NO..NO..don't lock him in his room...don't take him to counseling...he is not mentaly disturbed. He is just a rebelious kid who likes to see how much he can get a way with. I was the same way..my parents did not know how to tell me no...I ran all over them...I was rebeling like crazy..nothing stoped me until I was 15...I got sent to the state boot camp for out of control children I finally got some REAL disipline...that is all it took..for some one to really put their foot down and tell you how to really act...I straightened my butt up...and I have told friends about it and it has helped 3 other children already. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN.....LET THEM KNOW THAT THEY ARE GOING TO BE PUNISHED FOR LYING AND STEALING...in the long run he will see why you had to do what you did to teach him and he will respect it...
2006-08-31 11:44:08 · answer #7 · answered by kikosgirl83 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not the spanking kind, I would lock him in his room, only to come out to eat, bathe, and go to school. No TV, computer or games. Total time out...
2006-08-31 11:34:50 · answer #8 · answered by flip103158 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell hem I don't take you out if still something from someone or some shopping store. For me works.
2006-08-31 11:37:17 · answer #9 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beat him every times he tells a lie, take away all his toys, TV, PlayStation etc. You need to be strong with him STOP LETTING HIM GET AWAY WITH IT. I'm afraid you only have yourself to blame but it NOT to late to correct your mistake. He needs firm punishment
2006-08-31 11:38:41 · answer #10 · answered by Stephen J 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋