Ok so my boyfriend and I had some friends over the other night and he all got into a discussion about marriage. He said that he doesn't want to get married until after he is 30! And then he doesn't want kids until like 35!!!! My whole thing is I want to get married between 24 and 26 somewhere. And have kids when im like 27 and on. I don't want to start having kids after 30. I will have my 2nd or 3rd kid in my 30's but not my first. You have to understand I don't want to get married now or even a year from now (im only21) but how do I make him see where im coming from without freaking him out or making him feel pressured, because the way i see it i want to marry him (someday).
2006-08-31 09:28:27 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just forget about it, it won't be relevant for a few years and things could be completely differ net by then; You may or may not be with him and he may have changed his mind and propose earlier.
You might even say no one day!!
2006-08-31 09:35:46 · answer #1 · answered by Kate 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
obviously your young and I doubt if you guys will even last because your on two way different wave lengths. Talk things out but maybe you should just realize you dont' want the same things. It doesn't make anyone a bad person, you just need to find someone with near the same goals.
If that's not what he wants, nothing you do or say will change that. Good luck.
2006-08-31 16:36:31 · answer #2 · answered by Ice4444 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know you will be with your boyfriend for the rest of your life you need to start talking about it soon, not 3 or 4 years down the road. By not saying anything you are agreeing to his time table. If he decides you are not wife or mother material you won't be happy because you wasted all of that time waiting. If you don't think you will still be with him in 2 years, then leave it alone and make sure your birth control is up to date.
2006-08-31 16:37:38 · answer #3 · answered by lady01love 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think with time he'll change his mind on his own, if not then you need to tell him.... Bringing it up now will probably seem like your pressuring him into popping the question even though your really not.
Both of you are still young so don't worry about all that right now, when the time come you two will talk about it and come up with a solution that suits BOTH of you best.
2006-08-31 16:34:31 · answer #4 · answered by Melia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sure have things planned out very far in advance - sometimes those plans don't always go the way you want - what if for some reason you have problems becoming pregnant - sounds like you may have a nervous breakdown - relax and enjoy being 21 for now - you may be scaring off the BF with all this marriage/baby talk.
2006-08-31 16:34:51 · answer #5 · answered by livetall1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, give him time. That is his answer at that moment but things can change.
Maybe if he sees the beauty of having a family early he will reconsider.
Do not bring up the topic, that will giuve him unnecessary pressure now.
You are 21... give life 3 more years and see..
In life, nothi8ng is slated in stone.
2006-08-31 16:34:48 · answer #6 · answered by oracle_28 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't. Like you said - "You have to understand I don't want to get married now or even a year from now (im only21)" so it doesnt need to be an issue. It doesnt hurt at some point to have a discussion about what you want in your future, but not directly -like- this is what I want from You, but more -like- this is what i want from my future.
2006-08-31 16:33:53 · answer #7 · answered by Melissa T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit worrying about it. Either one of you may change your mind eventually. Just be with him now. YOu don't need to plan out your life anyway, it usually doesn't work out that way. Life happens and many things get in the way to change us and our circumstances and ideas. Just enjoy what you have now.
2006-08-31 16:39:03 · answer #8 · answered by marlenekay4 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let time take its toll. Your still young and have full, rich life ahead of you. Set goals, but be flexible. See if you both feel the same this time next year. I rather doubt it!
2006-08-31 16:38:11 · answer #9 · answered by Samantha B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you and your boyfriend the same age? You guys need to sit down and talk. You are clearly not on the same page. Good luck.
2006-08-31 16:35:04 · answer #10 · answered by gemone523 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋