the father of my child doesnt want anything to do with me after i found out he was cheating on me at 7 months pregnant, im 33 wks now. he claims he only wants the child in his life but hasnt done anything for the baby since the moment he found out, which was in feb. what would make a guy do a complete 180 over nite cause he got caught doin wrong?
the baby is his and i didnt do anything to him for him to all of a sudden not want anything to do with me. and theres things he can do for the baby before he is born like save money, help me buy things for him, etc. buying things for the baby doesnt start the day he's born!!!!
2006-08-31 08:48:33 · 33 answers · asked by foxzie006 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I'm sure that you don't want to hear this but at this point it doesn't matter if he wants anything to do with you or not. It matters what is best for the baby. If he says that he wants to be involoved when the baby is born give him that chance. Reality for some men doesn't set in until they actually see and hold their child. If he was cheating on you while pregnant he stopped wanting to be with you along time ago and was probably around for the baby. Which you don't want to be with him then anyway. Yes have him do the paternity test because in the back of his mine he is probably thinking the baby isn't his because he was cheating and when they do that they believe the other person is to so they don't feel guilty. Now once the baby is born and the paternity test is done and he decides if he wants to be a father or not you have two choses. Let him be a father and love his child and pay child support and visit the child and let him know him as a father. Or if he decided that he doesn't want to be a father and after holding the child decided that he doesn't love it or want it (which does happen) let him walk away and leave your and the babys life. At that point if you feel you need or want child support still get it if not you can do it with out him 100% including money. But once he leaves yours and the babys life don't hold the door open for him to come back, Make it clear to him that if he leaves there is no coming back in a few years to be a dad. It's no or never. That's only fair. Also figure out now what you'll tell your son when he gets older and starts asking questions. Tell him he dad wasn't ready or something just make sure you don't do your son the harm of giving him some idealation of his father and how much he loves him because that will hurt him more when he is older and tries to find his father and he wants nothing to do with him because then he will feel betrade by you also. GOOD LUCK
2006-08-31 09:12:31 · answer #1 · answered by Trouble 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your situation if no fun...As soon as the baby is born you need to take this slacker to court and make sure he pays child support! He is obviously not mature enough to be a father but too bad! He probibly freaked out last minute at the change that his life was going to go through...he has no consideration for you because he iis an immature 24yr old man. Get the child support and realize that this man is going to be a part of your life for the rest of your life....don't bad talk him in front of the baby and do your best to get along...your child depends on it. But make sure you get the child support the baby deserves, who knows maybe one day he will grow up and be a good father...we can always hope. Blessed Be!
2016-03-27 02:35:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this but that is what happens when you are not married and have kids! Had my son at 19 and the dad is gone! They never stick around. #1 why do they have to they are not married! #2 they are scared of being a dad. #3 they dont want to be tied down by a child!!
So here is the fact forget about him. They have a wonderful thing now that the min the baby is born Support kids will come in your room and take his name and then they will automatically take money out of his check for your child!!! He wont even see the money it is just taken before he gets his pay check. It is so nice.
As far as you and your baby YOU DONT NEED HIM!! i REPEAT THAT! YOU DONT NEED HIM! I raised a son on my won he is 7 now but I am mom and dad. i used to think I needed his dad to show him things and to be a man! But you dont. you need to find a self esteem book and read it and a self help book read it and get your life on track!!! You can do it alone it is scary at first but it can be done. You need to be strong for you and the child. You can e-mail me anytime if you feel alone. I know how it feels!!!
2006-08-31 08:56:34 · answer #3 · answered by Firefly 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This guy has no sense of responsibility whatsoever. He just wanted to have fun, and when you became pregnant, you lost your appeal for him. Dear, I think you're much better off without him. You can raise your baby by yourself. Why would you even want a guy you can't trust, one who would abandon you at the drop of a hat, and shows no love or responsibility for either you or the baby? He should be made to pay child support, however, and I would make it clear that he must do so if he ever wants to have the baby in his life. Personally, you and your child are better off without him, but if he pays child support, I suppose he would have visitation rights. In any event, I hope you meet someone some day who will love you and your baby, and meet the responsibilities of having a family.... Good luck!
2006-08-31 09:04:12 · answer #4 · answered by gldjns 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some guys just don't want to grow up.My now 5 yr olds bio.Dad left me when i was 5 mths pregnant after saying he wanted the child.In 5 years he has only called twice to talk to my son,and only sees him because his parents get him once in a while.My son calls him by his name not daddy.My son does'nt like him that much.He had a child w/someone else a yr after my son was born.His parents basically take care of that child.He is just a piece of sh**.I was 19 when i had him and took care of him w/the help of my family.I met my husband when he was 1and a half he has always took care of him as it was his child.He has always called him daddy on his own since the day he came into our lives.The bio father pays me 21$ a week.His parents have always provided w/clothes and shoes and nice B-day presents.All i can say is do what you have to for your child and don't worry to much about his sorry butt.Don't push him away and don't try to force him to be in the childs life either.I know it is hard but for now just worry about your baby and yourself.Good Luck!!Hope everything works out 4 u.
2006-08-31 09:44:59 · answer #5 · answered by hotmama 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Immaturity, denial.....fear, fatherhood
I know this may not make you feel any better, but some things happen for good reasons.
I would certainly start child support proceedings NOW with your attorney generals office and make sure you get his SS number!
Get him in court the soonest you can after the baby is born.
Since your not married the court system will have a paternity test.
Dont cut the guy any slack! No matter what line he tells you!
2006-08-31 08:55:46 · answer #6 · answered by giggling.willow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i've been there...there is no way to really explain what goes on in these imcompetent jerks lifes...but, if you feel that he is this big of a jerk, why would you want him in the childs life? do what is best for your child...whatever that may be. i dont know all the details so i can be totally wrong. i went through something similar and have doing the it all by my lonesome or with my family. you cant make anybody do anything, unfortunatley. but a court judge can. once the baby is born, id file for full custody and child support...but do what is best for YOU AND THE BABY.
good luck and take care
2006-09-01 15:12:48 · answer #7 · answered by *mommy to two* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie- I dont think he was ever that into the family thing in the first place- people dont turn off feelings overnight. he got caught and dropped the charade. dont beat ur self up about it now though- u just file for child support and never look back- youre a mommy now- the time for games is over. Raise that baby right- you cant force him to be a father but you can do right by the baby without him.
2006-08-31 08:59:36 · answer #8 · answered by Empress - 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to start from where you are and think of your future and the future of your child. Do you really want to tie yourself to someone who is already cheating on you and doesn't want to have anything to do with you? If you were not pregnant, would you put up with a guy who acted like that? Probably not. So why do it now? You need a happier, safer, more stable environment than that, in my opinion. Your baby's father is a loser. Losers don't suddenly (or gradually) become winners. So let go of him.
2006-08-31 08:57:53 · answer #9 · answered by Larry 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So you guys are what? 18? 20? He is obviously an immature punk. Go now and seek legal counsel to make sure that this jerk does not try to skip out of his financial responseability. He should be saving money sure but he also needs to be providing for you right now! The child (the one in your belly) needs pre-natal care RIGHT NOW and the child (the father) needs to be paying for that sh!t. If that fugger is not helping you now when you really need it (its HARD to be alone and pregnant at month 7 it will be harder at month 8 and really tough at month 9. He cheated on you and he will cheat the baby out of his support. Go now. Get a lawyer or at least seek legal assistance to make sure to place this boy on the legal hook so he can not squirm away. Trust me HE WILL NOT PAY unless he is forced. He is responsible.
2006-08-31 09:28:49 · answer #10 · answered by der_grosse_e 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋