Life is killing me [Herpes, dope, and bipolar disorder]?

Question

I've had Genital Herpes for over a year now. I'm an eighteen year old attractive female.. Though Genital Herpes could be described as the least of my problems.. though it was such a lovely present.. after I found out I became bedridden for over a month.. basically numb and a vegetable. I was employed but became very sick at work since I was misdiagnosed, then you guessed it, I became unemployed. I've had a few jobs after that and eventually I dropped out of high school. Though sometimes it isn't too heavy on my mind other times it is bringing me down. I've been to counseling and been on medication and I understand other people out there have it much worse. I've attempted suicide more than once.. I have a lot to offer and I've been accepted by men even with the lovely present but I still feel as though I am worthless, now unattractive, and dirty. I feel everything I have to offer means nothing and life is meaningless. Anyone experience similar feelings after contracting the disease?

Answer 1

Why did you have unprotected sex?

Answer 2

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Answer 3

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Answer 4

You have to see things in a negative light, having people around you that accept you no matter what , is a good start. Start dealing with your problems little by little, nothing goes away from one day to the next. Get some help regarding the 'dope'. after that everything else isn't too bad. Get on meds for you bipolar, you're not the first or last female living with this. It can be controlled, you will be ok. I can see why you think u are unattractive and dirty, but you are more then that. Talk to those around you, they'll reassure you. Make it so a year from now, you can look back and see what a change, for the good, you have made. Life goes on ....

Answer 5

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Answer 6

I don't have an STD but my mother contracted HIV when i was six. She was so depressed and so sure she was going to die she sent us away to live with my father.Now I am 23....she has been diagnosed with AIDS just this past year. It took her a long time to realize that she wasn't alone. With therapy and medication she was able to accept her situation. Now she doesn't even need to take medication. Shes taught me a lot. and i hope what i say will help. This std does not change who you are. it doesn't make you any less or more worthy of things that come your way. herpes is not curable but with treatment you can help prevent spreading the disease.I know you are depressed now..you need to seek professional help and stick with it. It doesn't just go away ina month. you need to see the doctor regularly and tell him every single thing. and know that your options don't end now that you have an std. move on. don't dottle and worry over this. you are not worthless. every women is beautiful no matter what. and anyone that thinks differently isn't a person you want in your life. and remember that this too shall pass.

Answer 7

I hope you realize that you have the other problems because of your Bipolar Disorder...this is something you were born with and can't help. I know someone personally who has been through it all because of her BD, and she's finally straightening up her life to the point that she is going to be ok. It will take some time, but don't give up. You deserve to be happy just like everyone else...you just have to work twice as hard as the rest of us...unless you are in a manic phase...lol. But seriously, don't quit. I've been friends with her for many, many years and I've seen it all...you CAN make it, I promise. Just learn that most of the time, people don't stick around for the long haul when it comes to disease. When you find someone who will, never let them go or take them for granted. Good luck.

Answer 8

Maybe you should look onto a psychiatric facility that specializes in dual diagnosis (drug/alcohol dependent along with mental illness) you will work on both of these issues at the same time while you are a patient. The reason lots of people take drugs is to self medicate because they are suffering from depression. The problem with that is, once the high is gone you're more depressed than before. It's a viscous cycle. you can talk to a therapist/psychiatrist about everything (the depression, std, and drug addiction) They will help you plan on how to manage life with these afflictions. Hope this helps.

Answer 9

I am absolutely terrified and I feel so alone. I just found out last week that I tested positive for hsv1 and 2. I have been with the same man for the past 10 years and within the last year found out that he has cheated on me with numerous women. I am so scared that I can give it to my children by kissing them and them eating with me...I feel like my whole life has changed. And even though the nurses, my doctor, and websites say that a lot of people have it I still feel like I am by myself. My self esteem has dropped and I feel like I have been used up. But now, My life is very happy.

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Answer 10

Danny, I think you need to take one step at a time. Its too much trying to tackle everything at once. To me it sounds like you need to change your housing situation firstly. This man you live with is/was a paedophile. Being around him can't be doing you any good, it sounds like a really negative relationship. You deserve better, and I really think it will help your self-worth if you have a more positive living environment. It will help put you in the mind set that you're entitled to more in life, and help give you the strength to begin to fight for it. With your mental health problems and the fact that you are living with someone who abuses you, you will be able to be housed by the council in your own place. Somewhere that's a haven rather than linked to terrible things. Or you could find a private rental place and claim housing benefit. If you can email or telephone your council's housing department and arrange to speak to a housing officer. Please start to email me again and we can talk about things further.. I have experience of various kinds of abuse in childhood too.

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Answer 11

Oh Hun,I am sorry to hear this.Well,first off it sounds as if you are suffering from depression.In that case you need to contact a psychiatrist(SP?) in your area.They will speak about your problems and possibly prescribe you some medications to help you control the thoughts and feelings you are having.Also,You should find a support group in your area.There are many support groups for several things and people who understand what you are going through because they have went through it and/or are going through it.They understand your feelings and how you feel about yourself.Remember,everyday that goes by you are one step ahead of what you were yesterday.You are a strong woman and what you are going through is just a road bump.You can get through this reguardless of how many people are against you there are twice as many pulling for you.I really would urge you to get into a support group as well as contacting a psychiatrist.In the support group you will meet others like yourself and they understand.Good luck hun and God Bless You.