Want 10 points?

Question

Amuse me then.

Answer 1

what's green, slimy, and smells like pork?
kermit's finger.

Answer 2

How can I amuse you if I don't have a clue as to what makes you happy or what would put a smile on your face. I could tell you a corny joke but that would be pointless if you don't get the point and laugh. I could say something that would make you feel special but you are already that. Thanks for the offer but I think you are worth more than 10 points.

Answer 3

A woman had a parrot that she took with her everywhere she went.
She would even take the parrot to the club with her when she went
dancing and drinking on Saturday nights. Whenever the woman went onto
the dance floor, the parrot would yell, "The roof, the roof, the roof
is
on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn!
Burn, muthafukkah, burn!" The crowd on the dance floor would always
cheer and holler in appreciation when the parrot would yell. This would

make the parrot yell even more and of course make the crowd go wild.
This
would go on all night long, everytime the parrot went out.

One Sunday morning the woman took the parrot to church and into the
choir stand with her.

And when the choir started to sing, the parrot yelled, "The roof, the
roof,

the roof is on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn!

Burn, muthafukkah, burn! She embarrassingly corrected the parrot,

"No, you don't say that here!!"


The parrot looked around and asked, "Why not? These are the same
muthafukkahs that was at the club last night!!!..

Answer 4

A woman had a parrot that she took with her everywhere she went.
She would even take the parrot to the club with her when she went
dancing and drinking on Saturday nights. Whenever the woman went onto
the dance floor, the parrot would yell, "The roof, the roof, the roof
is
on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn!
Burn, muthafukkah, burn!" The crowd on the dance floor would always
cheer and holler in appreciation when the parrot would yell. This would

make the parrot yell even more and of course make the crowd go wild.
This
would go on all night long, everytime the parrot went out.

One Sunday morning the woman took the parrot to church and into the
choir stand with her.

And when the choir started to sing, the parrot yelled, "The roof, the
roof,

the roof is on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn!

Burn, muthafukkah, burn! She embarrassingly corrected the parrot,

"No, you don't say that here!!"


The parrot looked around and asked, "Why not? These are the same
muthafukkahs that was at the club last night!!!..

Answer 5

I believe your needing of amusement stems from dehydration and an affinity for melting Linkin Park CDs in your mother's microwave. Do you own a lasso? If so, attempt a triple hemmy octagon and alleviate the doldrums, your cat may look at you indifferently though.

Answer 6

Here is a great story. It is 100% TRUE. HAPPENED IN 2005.

Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school were both virgins.

They enjoyed losing their virginity with each other in 10th grade.

When they graduated, they wanted to both go to the same college but the girl was accepted to a college on the east coast, and the guy went to the west coast.

They agreed to be faithful to each other and spend anytime they could together.

As time went on, the guy would call the girl and she would never be home, and when he wrote, she would take weeks to return the letters.

Even when he emailed her, she took days to return his messages.

Finally, she confessed to him she wanted to date around.

He didn't take this very well and increased his calls, letters, and emails trying to win back her love.

Because she became annoyed, and now had a new boyfriend, she wanted to get him off her back.

So, what she did is this, she took a polaroid picture of her sucking her new boyfriend's unmentionables and sent it to her old boyfriend with a note reading, "I found a new boyfriend, leave me alone."

Well, needless to say, this guy was heartbroken but, even more so, was pissed. So what he did next was awesome.

He wrote on the back of the photo the following, "Dear Mom and Dad, having a great time at college, please send more money!" and mailed the picture to her parents.

Answer 7

a joke then: recently married, a new bride discovers that her charming husband has a disgusting habbit... in the mornings her husband rips farts in his daily wakup routine...a lot. Over time this begins to wear on her, and as most women do, she begins to nag him. Phrases like " if you keep doing that, gas isnt the only thing thats gonna come out"... or " one day your inside will fall out from that", become her daily response. One day she finally had it! It was the morning of Thanksgiving, and as was custom, she got up early to prepare "the bird" for the nights events. As she removed the gizzards from the turkey, an idea sprung to mind. The wife gathered all the gizzards and ran upstairs, and ever so carefully slid them into the back of her husbands pajamas. Giggling to herself, she resumed her duties downstairs, waiting for her husbands daily routine to commence. Minutes later, she herd a blood curdling scream... and then silence for over 20 minutes. By now she was worried that her joke had gone awry, when finally her husband came downstairs into the kitchen with an ashen look on his face. The wife camly asked: whats the matter my dear, i thought i heard you yell?" The husband replied "I dont want you to worry, but you know how your always telling me my insides will come out if I keep farting like i do? well, I woke up today and found my intestines in my pants!! Bont dont you worry hon, with these 2 fingers... I got it all back in!!!"

Answer 8

NOT HAPPY
Two church members were going door to door, and
knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to
see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that
she did not want to hear their message, and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back
open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same results---
the door bounced back open. Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door,
she reared back to give it a slam that would teach
them a lesson, when one of them said, "Ma'am, before you do that again you need to move your cat."

Answer 9

A man walks into a toilet store and says "Can I buy a toilet?" Then the store clerk says "Yes you can. There is a glass toilet, a wooden toilet and an anthem toilet. So the man buys the glass toilet and returns it the next day and says "This toilet gets glass in my butt." So he buys the wooden toilet and comes back the next day and says "This toilet gets wood in my butt." So he buys the anthem toilet and comes back the next day and says "I DON'T LIKE THE ANTHEM TOILET BECAUSE WHENEVER I NEED TO GO TO THE WASHROOM, I HAVE TO STAND UP!"

I would like to say another one but it has bad language so I cant say it here!

Answer 10

I wish I was like you Easily amused

Answer 11

Amuse you? You should be amusing me.
What kind of music does the mummies band sing?

Wrap.