MY COUSIN IS 12 years old and she is prenang. what can she do?

Question

worst of all she doesn´t know the father.

Answer 1

Realisticly,she is unable to care for a child as she is still one herself.I am not on to judge tho,so i would say she needs to consider all her options.Abortion i dont believe is acceptable in any situation.She could consider adoption.She will be allowed in the childs life if she has an open adoption.They will keep in contact through letters,pictures,email,and weekly visits in some situations.In this case she will not be a mystery when this child grows up and he will know who she is and that she did what was best for him/her.With family support,she could keep this child.That is going to be rough on the family tho,but it is something to consider.Right now,she is going to need someone to talk to and lean on through this whole process of decision making at her age especially.All i can tell you to do,is be there for her.You being there and giving her a shoulder and an ear is all she needs.She and her parents have to do the rest.It is HER decision and with her parents help she can keep this child.She has her whole life ahead of her,if she chooses to keep this child she can do it.It isnt impossible,many young girls do it everyday.Good luck,and God Bless Your Cousin.

Answer 2

Well, there are a lot of things she should do.

1. Go to the doctor. She might be developed enough to get pregnant, but this pregnancy is going to be very difficult on her little 12 year old frame. Both she and the baby are high risk. She's going to need to be under the care of a very good OBGYN.

2. Get to a counselor.

a. She needs to learn to make better choices. She and her parents also need help deciding whether she is going to keep the baby or adopt it out. The parents need to be involved in that decision because, let's face it, if she's keeping it, they're raising it. Personally I think she should adopt it out. The child will have a more stable life.

b. Just because she says she doesn't know who the father is, doesn't mean it's the truth. There may be a reason she's not saying who it is. She may be more comfortable confiding in a counselor.

3. Find the father. If he's a minor, he needs counseling, too, and he should be held reponsible. If he's not a minor, that's statutory rape, and he needs to be dealt with.

Answer 3

I'm sorry but 12 is way too young to be pregnant or give birth. I

I'm 34 years old, and 26 weeks pregnant with my first and its the hardest thing I've ever done - I've had rotten morning sickness and felt so rough! And what about labour? No 12 year old body should be put through that.

She is only a child herself for God's sake.

I think abortion would be better in this situation, she is just way too young to carry, bear or look after a child. Its one child against another!

As for "adoption", yeah - carrying and giving birth to a baby at the age of 12 and giving it away never to see it again is going to be really easy isn't it? For a 12 year old child?? It could destroy her for life and her sanity!!!! Far more than any abortion would.

How the hell anyone, especially a woman like the "Fiona S" above, could suggest such a thing is beyond me. Some of you people just don't live in the real world. The child is 12 for God's sake!!!!! Morons! How heartless and stupid to even suggest such a thing.

Answer 4

Perhaps I am absolutely wrong but I think that having baby in this age will ruin both your cousins and her baby lives. Anyway she must consult a doctor as soon as she can in order to decide does she need an abortation or not. If she doesnt you must explain her that pregnancy is going to be very and very difficult. Then she must decide does she really want to be a mother or it is better to find a good person to adopt the baby. Make sure that her parents wont be too strict with her cuz you cant still be sure that she hasnt got a reason not to name the father. Worst of all is that you cant be sure that it she who made the mistake but not someone who made her to make it (Sorry Ive told it) Dont forget about her education cuz it is important anyway. Perhaps it is better to make her study at home.

Answer 5

She needs to see a doctor and a therapist ASAP. Her family also needs to prosecute the scumbag who got her pregnant.

Having a child at such a young age is dangerous. Her body isn't designed for giving birth so young and carrying a child to term could cause permanent damage. She really needs to see a doctor and get medical advice about what's best for her and if she'll even be able to go through with the pregnancy and produce a healthy child - children who give birth often produce babies that have serious birth defects, low birth weight etc. She needs to see a therapist to deal with the emotional issues - if she's having voluntary sex at this age then she has serious problems. If she was raped then she will have issues as well. But she does need to see a doctor and a therapist as quickly as possible; if abortion is the best solution here (which it probably is) then she needs to do it early to avoid complications.

Answer 6

im sorry that your cousin is 12 years old and pregnant but surely at some point in her life before she had sex her parents or people from her school had spoken to her about the birds and the bees....i mean by the time i was 12 i knew that purberty was on its way and enough about sex to know that i wanted to wait until i found the right man and the right time for me.......if the sex was consentual then i would really also have to ask what her parents thought about her activities if they are even aware of them......she needs desperate counselling if she decides to keep the baby but i would really consider alternate options not in a bad way but because she is just a child herself and really would not cope to be bringing up a baby.

Answer 7

This is a time for practicality and not a time to preach about the rights and wrongs of abortions and even who the father is at present.
Bottom line - she is pregnant and does she and her family want to welcome a new baby into their lives.
If not then abortion is not out of the question.
Regards to the father, at this age it really is a secondary concern after you have decide what to do.
I wish you all the luck - do not add to your dilema by adding new ones from the any religious or righteous views on abortion or angry rantings about the father - it will NOT HELP! I wish you the best x

Answer 8

She should be getting professional therapy. Two reasons for 'not knowing who the father is' are gang rape and child abuse from an adult in a position of authority. If either of these are the case, a good therapist will help her talk about it and understand it. If the father is one of many men she willingly had sex with, she needs to understand why this isn't a good idea.

Answer 9

she probably does know the father but wont tell, so she might not be a s bad as people think she is........does her mother know, mothers are wonder full things ,usually they get over bad news and get on with what ever needs to be done.
a baby is exhausting so if she keeps it her family will need to be able to help.
there are families desperate to adopt , if she has to give it up........she should leave a letter for the child to read when they eventually try to find her explaining why she had to give it up.
if she aborts she may regret it all her life........if she really has been having sex with multiple partners she may already have started damage to her Fallopian tubes and might have difficulty having a baby in later life and to have killed her only one would be dreadful.

Answer 10

Ye gods, surely she must have some idea, she can't have shagged more than a few men can she? I seriously hope she is considering all options, at that age she is still achild herself and any decision needs to consider her continuing education, ability to cope, support of partner and so on. Did nobody explain the facts of life to her properly to get into this situation?