the girl that i loved for teh last 10 months , gave her my life , and planed on marrying her , just left me for another guy....she is my first and i never felt liek this before...anybody with more expeirnece can tell me how to forget without drinkin/smoeking/drugs or other girls ?
2006-08-31 07:33:36 · 10 answers · asked by should i ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no other women , she is the only girl i ever known....
2006-08-31 07:41:49 · update #1
It happens to the best of us and the rest of us. You are on the right track regarding hurting yourself with external substances.
I do not think there is a need to forget. Remember the learning and Loving experience. Understand that people both men and women change their minds as it is their perrogative.
Be glad that you had the experience of having someone to Love and maybe the illusion of love requited. Some people will never have the pleasure of having the heart broken because they do not know how to Love or be Loved, or they are disfigured and no one will love them in return, or lack the social skills to initiate a relationship. Be glad that you did not lose her in a an accident or to illness. Be glad she was not lost to the ravages of war or abuse.
Embrace the feeling that you have, the empty that is full of emptiness, the fullness that is empty of fullness; that pushes and pull your insides toward the outside and saddens you with every song, smell, or thought. Embrace it, but do not dwell in it.
Love is a perrinial as the grass. It appears, disappears, reappears. That is the way it goes.
Solutions:
Pamper yourself by taking just yourself, to breakfast. Put some thing different in your routine. If you do not have some get some women friends inside and outside of your family to talk with, as their counsel will give you much insight. Walk, swim, run,study, read, dance,sing, involve yourself in the things of the life. You and another or maybe the same at a later date will unite. Take your time. Take YOUR Time. Enjoy the Life. There was a time that you did not know her. Fortify yourself. Love You First, those who Love you, then everybody else regardless of whether you like them or not.
The world has not ended. You have been baked in a kiln, fashoined by a fire.
Get better not bitter. Get some Humour. Do not punish yourself at her expense.
When one door closes more doors are opened. You will see and will be happy that it happened because of the growth process experienced. In later analysis, not now too soon, you will be glad it happened as it did. You will find in retrospect, that the Almighty removes you from a situation ever so gently. Pray for guidance to be your personal best.
You can only control you. That is all, questionable, and enough.
2006-08-31 08:28:35 · answer #1 · answered by LeBlanc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish I knew your age. If you are a teenager, 10 mos. is a long time. But as you get older your perspective changes.
Anyway, I am so glad you don't want to wreck your life over this. Put your energy into constructive work. If you are still a student, concentrate on bringing up any grade you are not happy with. Spend time on this website reading questions from people that have problems on a bigger scale (I am not trying to minimize your problem at all) Is there a big brother program in your area? Be a mentor to a young boy who might fall in the trap of drinking, smoking, drugs, etc. You sound very grounded and I think you could really be of help to others. One day, before you know it you are going to wake up and realize you haven't even thought about this girl for a long time. Oh, by the way. don't waste your time hating that girl, hate will only harm you in the long run. She you will find, is not worth the bother.
Many, many blessings to you
you will be in my thoughts and prayers
2006-08-31 07:48:31 · answer #2 · answered by fishergirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it seems like the end of the world but in reality it was only 10 months, and in the grand scheme of things will be just a small blip on the radar, you don't get that now but honestly you will someday. By the way for future reference you NEVER decide to marry someone after only ten months. Your relationship is still in the infatuation stage and you really have NO idea yet who you are really dealing with (which you clearly learned here).
It takes time, but time in itself doesn't fix anything, its what you do with the time that counts. If you spend that time doing nothing but thinking about what was yesterday that is how you will spend your tomorrows. You have to grieve, but give yourself a limit, after that push yourself forward, no matter how much you don't want to, keep busy doing things that make you happy, at first it will serve no real purpose except distracting your brain, but eventually you will find joy in them again.
Take care of yourself physically, don't start eating junk, work out, exercise, read some great books, listen to great music, DANCE (nobody can be sad when they dance) even if its home by yourself, spend time with friends and family, take a class, start a new hobby, play games..whatever it is that distracts your brain. Do the things you gave up for your relationship. Soon you will find yourself understanding what went wrong and ready to try again. At first sometimes you will just get through a minute at a time, but each one gets you closer to the minute when you are ok! Good luck, be patient with yourself, and remember it really will get better!
2006-08-31 07:45:11 · answer #3 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
go out and have fun! i dont mean party and drink and all that. no need to get wild. but find distractions, find a new sport you enjoy and can dedicate time to. Maybe you can start going to the gym for a few hours a day. Hang out with friends that make you laugh and dont discuss this topic often. DISTRACTIONS are your best option. Get a job if you dont already have one, get really involved in your studies if you are still at school. Anything positive that can distract you and help you as a person. Good luck!!
2006-08-31 07:42:10 · answer #4 · answered by yourgirl11 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Start new hobbies, hang out with your friends, don't call her, or think about her....go to the beach, the bar, church, the woods, anywhere where you can keep her off your mind....although I must say you kind of had it coming if you gave that much of yourself to a girl when you didn't even date for a year...realize, 10 months is not long enough to truly know someone....obviously she did not give you her life, or plan on marrying you...and those are signs you can see before she leaves you.
2006-08-31 07:38:19 · answer #5 · answered by violet1656 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just think about other things that make you happy, do things you like to do and spend as much time as you can around your friends, that will keep you busy. Try to stay away from places you two use to visit, make new friends, there's a lot outthere to help you forget her, but just time will take care of that, meanwhile remember it was her and not you who decided to go, she lost.
Now show her that you are the winner!
2006-08-31 07:48:30 · answer #6 · answered by Yesi 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh, I'm so sorry about that. All you can do is give it time. You will get over her eventually and move on with your life. Everything happens for a reason.
2006-08-31 07:37:00 · answer #7 · answered by Carrie! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
keep ur self busy
try new things
the best thing in my opinion
travel to a different place
it will def help u out
good luck n keep busy
2006-08-31 07:49:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if there is another woman in your life and you still like go for it
2006-08-31 07:38:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
best thing u could do is to move on
2006-08-31 07:37:23 · answer #10 · answered by fame4000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋