i'm tired i'm achy my hair has turned into a ball of frizz and its still not even friday ....can you tell me something to make me smile?
2006-08-31 07:27:16 · 18 answers · asked by uplate 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
not to worry give yourself a nice warm enema with lavender oil and camomile tea. and let jesus into your heart.
2006-08-31 09:40:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
A woman had a parrot that she took with her everywhere she went.
She would even take the parrot to the club with her when she went
dancing and drinking on Saturday nights. Whenever the woman went onto
the dance floor, the parrot would yell, "The roof, the roof, the roof
is
on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn!
Burn, muthafukkah, burn!" The crowd on the dance floor would always
cheer and holler in appreciation when the parrot would yell. This would
make the parrot yell even more and of course make the crowd go wild.
This
would go on all night long, everytime the parrot went out.
One Sunday morning the woman took the parrot to church and into the
choir stand with her.
And when the choir started to sing, the parrot yelled, "The roof, the
roof,
the roof is on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn!
Burn, muthafukkah, burn! She embarrassingly corrected the parrot,
"No, you don't say that here!!"
The parrot looked around and asked, "Why not? These are the same
muthafukkahs that was at the club last night!!!..
2006-09-01 13:43:52 · answer #2 · answered by Utd4Life 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A woman had a parrot that she took with her everywhere she went.
She would even take the parrot to the club with her when she went
dancing and drinking on Saturday nights. Whenever the woman went onto
the dance floor, the parrot would yell, "The roof, the roof, the roof
is
on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn!
Burn, muthafukkah, burn!" The crowd on the dance floor would always
cheer and holler in appreciation when the parrot would yell. This would
make the parrot yell even more and of course make the crowd go wild.
This
would go on all night long, everytime the parrot went out.
One Sunday morning the woman took the parrot to church and into the
choir stand with her.
And when the choir started to sing, the parrot yelled, "The roof, the
roof,
the roof is on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn!
Burn, muthafukkah, burn! She embarrassingly corrected the parrot,
"No, you don't say that here!!"
The parrot looked around and asked, "Why not? These are the same
muthafukkahs that was at the club last night!!!..
2006-08-31 20:17:31 · answer #3 · answered by Gaming 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
To cheer urself up why don't u put on some music that'll make u wanna dance and then just keep telling urself that tomorrow is Friday and it 's the end of a horrible week.
2006-08-31 14:36:34 · answer #4 · answered by Jami C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades.
One knight told his best friend - "My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key to her chastity belt to use should I not return from the Crusade."
The company of knights were only a mile or so out of town when they noticed a cloud of dust approaching.
Thinking it might be an important message from the town the column halted.
A horseman approached. It was the knights best friend.
He yelss - "Hey, you gave me the wrong key!!"
2006-08-31 17:48:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
have a nice bath to sort out ur hair and achy bones and like everyone else is saying the weekend is only a day away
2006-08-31 14:41:09 · answer #6 · answered by cookie monster 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
here goes!!!!! the other day after i had a shower and washed my hair, i then blow dryed it (which i hate doing) i decided to make myself a nice tuna salad for my lunch, i got the salad cream out of the fridge (its one of those squeezy bottles) i shook it up, as you do, and guess what???? some muppet had'nt clicked the top down properly and YEP YOU GUESSED IT!!!! the salad cream flew up into the air and back down landing in my newly washed and blow dryed hairGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR hope that bought a smile to your face, oh and yes its FRIDAY tomorrow, hey ho but i'me working on saturday, have a good weekend lol
2006-08-31 15:52:54 · answer #7 · answered by bluebell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bit gross but funny try this:-
A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender, who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," the man replies. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair. "I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say. "Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room.
2006-08-31 14:32:30 · answer #8 · answered by Pd 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A cowboy an indian and a blonde are lost in the woods. The cowboy goes to hunt for food and comes back with a deer. The other two askes how he got it. He says: Me see tracks, me follow tracks, me get deer. The indian goes and comes back with a deer and says: Me see tracks, me follow tracks, me get deer. The blonde goes and comes back three days later all bloodied and cut. The other two askes what happend, he says: Me see tracks, me follow tracks, me get hit bt train.
2006-08-31 14:56:36 · answer #9 · answered by Paradox3883 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
wha dont ye try washin yer hair wif shampoo an not washin up liquid, thatill clean yer hair. summit to make you smile ibe jus backed me car up over yer poodle but the paramedics thought it was you and give cpr to a mutt
2006-08-31 14:42:40 · answer #10 · answered by nuclear farter 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
go and have a lovely long shower wash and condition your hair ...and make sure you have the radio turned up Loud!
2006-08-31 15:00:29 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋