i,ve been with my husband for 10 years and i love him so very much him and my kids are my world but i,m just not in love with him like i should be anymore. what can i do
2006-08-31 07:18:42 · 25 answers · asked by pudding_pops2003 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
figure out why you fell in love with him to begin with ....then if you could sit and find a answer to that let him know how you feel and maybe he will do the things he used to do to make you fall in love with him again
2006-08-31 07:23:00 · answer #1 · answered by glass_city_hustla 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is "should be in love with him?" I mean, love changes over time, don't you think? I have been married 10 years also, and we went through a rough patch this year. I think when you're with someone this long, your life together just changes. You get in a rut, and take things too much for granted.
We committed to check in with each other more often, just to see what is going on in the other person's head. I mean, taking 10 minutes before bed just to see if you're headed in the same direction still. Also, we started "doing it" more frequently. That certainly made him more willing to discuss things (apparently if you are a man, frequency of sex is directly related to attention span). We turned off the tv for the summer (not that there is anything on anyway)
I made more of an effort to look at my husband with a less critical and a more accepting eye. I made an effort to find something good that he did that day, no matter what.
I don't know if that is what you meant in your question, or if it is helpful, but you are not alone in feeling this way, I think.
By the way, do you ever have those days when you could just walk out the door and never look back at your life? I love my husband and kids too, but I SO have those days
2006-08-31 07:32:49 · answer #2 · answered by mom3kids&adog 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes when you are in a realtionship for so long the fire just burns out. There are so many different things that you could do to start that spark again. Examples: Go on dates together, like you did before you were married. Go through the hair and makeup and all the fun stuff you use to do. Try new sexual things. Wear sexy clothes, meet at hotels instead of your bedroom when you can get a babysitter. Be creative. If you love this person and there is no real reason to move on, then all you have to do is try a little have fun. Good luck!
2006-08-31 07:24:01 · answer #3 · answered by jam_psb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully you believe in God and you can pray to have him help you fall in love with your husband all over again....you could also think about marital counseling for the two of you. Maybe there is something that was there 10 years ago that just isn't there anymore. However, take it from a woman who divorced a husband she didn't think she loved anymore only to live to regret it some 20 years later. If I had the chance to do it over again, I would have been honest with my husband, sought counseling, and did whatever I had to to save a marriage that was definitely worth saving......Remember hindsight is always 20/20.......
2006-08-31 07:23:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Gina. Marriage counseling is the way to go. Just tell him that you have some issue that you think will be best worked out in counseling. Assure him that you still love him and are fully committed to making the relationship work. Be very truthful when explaining the situation to him. He will probably be hurt, but if he loves you, he will want to make it work as much as you do. Make sure you take into consideration the feelings of your children as well. Maybe family counseling will eventually be a good idea. Sometimes having children can take the spark out of a marriage. Hopefully counseling will help. Best of luck to you!
2006-08-31 07:27:10 · answer #5 · answered by Amber J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So many marriages end in divorce because people think that the "in love" feeling will last forever, and they're disapointed when it doesn't . Love is a choice, and commitment, not a feeling. Real love is when you choose to stick it out with someone because you're commited to them, even though you many not want to. Hang in there and get through this time. Be open and honest with your husband, then do things to bring you closer again. Set up a date night, do special things for him. Every marriage that has lasted for 50 years has gone through what you're going through. Love is a choice. I hope this helps and God Bless
2006-08-31 07:24:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage Counseling.
2006-08-31 10:37:24 · answer #7 · answered by gloried 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not in love with him then it is time for a change. If you think the love can be saved start working on it now, (counseling. Talking, Taking new adventures). If not, start planning on a divorce so you, him and your children can move on. Love is important, and to live without is not living. Lynn
2006-08-31 07:26:05 · answer #8 · answered by lynn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could try marriage counseling. You're going to have to tell him how you feel eventually anyway. If you really feel there's no way your feelings will change, you should get divorced. It's really not fair to him to let him think you're happier than you are. Your kids will grow up to understand your decision. Better to get out & have things be on decent terms than wait until you're so resentful and have lost yourself in the marriage. I'm sorry to hear you are struggling. You can love someone but it isn't enough sometimes.
2006-08-31 07:21:03 · answer #9 · answered by Gina S 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think u should first try to bring back the memories in you which binded the 2 of u together,then try to consult your "inner self",if u dont love him anymore then u should do whats good 4 your kids.Dont u think COUNSELLING would do.Make a wise choice,please!
2006-08-31 07:31:00 · answer #10 · answered by Broox 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋