How do I deal with my co-worker, she is possibly bi-polar.?

Question

I work with this woman daily on company accounts for two years.

When I got the job, I was warned that she is “difficult” and that the position is hard to fill because no one wants to work with her.

She snaps at everyone, hangs up on people, slams doors and phones and complains all of the time.

I have to walk on eggshells when I am around her, I never know what might “set her off.”

I don’t know if its menopause, but I think she might have a mental disorder, like bi-polar.

She has really wild mood swings and takes no medication.

She gets annoyed and irritated at everyone and everything.

I knock on her door before I go in so she doesn’t get mad, and she writes me this email about how when I knock on the door it drives her crazy and I need to stop immediately.

I can never predict what will make her mad, I try to watch my every move, but somehow she is always crazy mad about something.

How do I deal with her?

Answer 1

She needs a good F#CK,
that's all, so go for it.

Answer 2

It sounds like you want to help her help herself.

If you're serious about asking her to get help, there are probably a couple approaches to this that might actually be effective.

The easiest way might be to start into a conversation about yourself, and how you are personally acquainted with mental illnesses. This is particularly easier if you really are someone who either has been depressed before, seen a therapist, or know someone close who has. The hardest part about this approach is finding the right timing. It sounds like you know her well enough that you could predict when she'd be more willing to listen to you talk about your own problems. I'm hoping she is able to at least listen. And from there, you could sense whether or not you could broach the question of whether or not she's seen any therapist before.

The other side to this coin is that I'm sure she knows there is something wrong but doesn't know what exactly it is. There is even a chance she's heard someone tell her that she might have bipolar disorder already. Be ready for that. This is not a tragic disease as so many people make it out to be. It is treatable, and the best thing to do is to help her accept it into her life if she hasn't already as a positive thing. Think of it as if you had just told her she was gay even though she's been in the closet all this time. If she doesn't want to admit it, it's her perogative, but it's good to know what you think all the same. With any luck, she would try at least to show how much she isn't bipolar, if that's what she believes. And at best if she is convinced, if maybe enough people are telling her she needs it, she will seek help.

Also if she is postmenstrual, there is always a chance she's behaving that way because of hormone changes, and you could consult with your mom about that. There are some medications for that too.

Good luck with this job, and I hope she appreciates the fact that you are just trying to help.

Answer 3

You talk of mood swings. Bi-polar has periods of "mellow" time. Even the most rapid of cycling conditions will have noticeable amounts of time when the person is calm, even depressed. There is nothing you can do for this person, if she does not want to see a Dr. If your company is large enough to have an employee assistance person, you might talk with that individual. Apparently, this person does her job well, or she would have been fired a long time ago. Until you can get others together to do an intervention, just stay away from her as best you can.

Answer 4

Try to speak in a very calm voice. Be calm but assertive and when you complain about her behavior tell her what she does and how it makes you feel. If she challenges you, remind her that you only told her how it makes you feel.

Another thing you can do is positive projection, where you assume out loud that the person has good intentions:

Example: Thanks for your e-mail, It's good to know that you have an open door policy and I can come right in when I need something. Some people get so mad if you don't knock first....

Answer 5

You need to speak to your supervisor, hers (if not the same person) and your human resources person. Also, this sounds silly, but keep a journal or log of all of the abusive things she does to you. I'm not talking about "she's short with me", but the extremely disturbing activities like slamming doors and hanging up on people.

I don' t know what kind of business you are in, but does she do this around clients or customers? If so that is very bad for business. Also does she do these things to other people? If so perhaps a few of you could approach your supervisor. It might be taken much more seriously if more than one person is voicing their concern.

I would also advise you to go with the attitude of concern for her and your company instead of complaining about the way she treats just you as that could be considered nothing more than two people not getting along.

Answer 6

working with bi-polar people is always difficult. My advice: I know that you want to make your office environment comfortable, but you have to take your own happiness at work into consideration. Maybe talk with her, and try to nicely pull from her what kind of things set her off, so that you can try to avoid them. Also, try to pull out information about the things that she likes. Maybe having someone bring her some coffee as a kind gesture would set her in the right mood. Or, if all else fails, just know that you have put more effort than most would into making it comfortable, and if she doesnt comply, then just focus on making yourself happy at work. Dont worry about her tantrums, her fits, and try to just ignore. Just take comfort that its not just you she's frustrated with, its the world. Theres not too much you can do to fix that. Good luck.

Answer 7

I worked with one. I went up the channels, believed it when they said they were addressing the issue and she would be gone "soon". I made it ten years, they did not get rid of her so I left. I still cannot fathom why I stayed that long, believing their lies.

Check on the laws in your state. In some states it is legal to tape record someone if you are also involved in the conversation. You can do this without their consent. Your own implicit consent is enough. Then you would have the ammo, so to speak.

Answer 8

I feel your pain. I went through the exact same thing except for my co-worker once threw the printer at me, bruised up my arm, made me cry (on my birthday!!) and she didn't even get in trouble for it. Instead my boss told me to "toughen up". I think the only thing to do is to find a new job: that's what I finally did.

Once in a while I run into this bully of mine around town and she's as nice as can be then. Think she might have completed drug rehab...

I am wishing the best for you.

Answer 9

Is she your boss? Does she have the power to fire you? You need to not worry about setting her off and do your job, it's obvious that you can't make her happy but i sure give you credit for trying, most wouldn't. If you like your job and you must or you wouldn't be on here talking about it, then I do my job to my best ability and stop worrying if I offend her, just ignore her, don't try and be her friend. Easier said than done right, Good luck

Answer 10

Boy,she's sounding like my mom's former 3rd husband. He was manic depressive bi-polar. You have to walk on eggshells around him and it changes mood to mood.

Sometimes that's all you reall can do is walk on eggshells since it means your job. If this is starting to really effect you, which is sounds like it is, maybe it's time to consider a new job. OR someone higher up needs to talk to this lady and either fire her rear of send her to the company shrink.

Answer 11

It is a simple case of someone who seeks controll by apearing crazy.

Bi-polars have also good uforic mood swings.

The best way is to annoy her on perpose and make sure she understands that this is what you are doing.
She will lose confidence and the table will turn in a way that you would be the one intimidating her.

I know it takes some guts to do what I just described but that is what will take care of her.

Try saing things like "Stop playing crazy"