24-M.Bankrupt.Struggler.No family & friends.Oftn get negative thoughts & depression.dont suggst counsellor.SOS

Question

Dear All,

I'm 24 years old. I have no one in family except mother who is aged.
I'm still struggling in life and working towards making a career. Almost bankrupt in life and difficult to meet needs.

I often get negative feelings and feel depressed most of the times. parents matrimonial divorce 3 yrs back put my life on a standstill with immediate expiry of father. All responsibilities on me and have done well to go ahead so far in life. Have been a super star during high school days and when working . But know with bankruptcy and hardly any money to live, friends n relatives have turned back on us. Feel miserable in life . Mom's litlle taunts and nags upset me way too much/ I'm trying to do my best in Life but cannot get over teh traumatic past.

Nobody visits us since we live far away and i have kinda lived in reclusion. No Girl friends also allowed by mother and i feel i wanta relationship but i aint ready for it ( coz of my poor financial conditions).

Dont suggest Counsellor.

Answer 1

You need someone to talk to. What have you got against counseling?

There are things that you can do to help yourself. Contact me and I'll give you a list. There are on-line support groups

If you need just to talk, contact me [e-mail]

Answer 2

you are 24 and still very young.you should know that everybody in their life time come across phases like yours.it only depends on how willing you are to help yourself.

stop thinking of the problems that you have faced with family friends etc.think of how you are going to face all these problems so that you can make your future a happier one.

negative thoughts comes along with depression.so first things first,block all these thoughts from entering your mind.youshould go out, meet people and interact to get you out of your reclusion.
set little goals for yourself beginning with getting up early.the sleep cycle also affects your state of mind.get enough sleep too.
other than that set little goals...it could be the the simplest of things like meeting up with an old friend at the right time...doing some reading for exactly 1 hour etcetc.

if you are not studying, do some short term course which would directly fetch you a job. even if you start small you will definitely get a clearer idea as to what you could aim for next.

like you have mentioned about your mother, it is difficult to make the aged understand.so what you can do is everytime your mum nags you,be calm and patient.if thats difficult for you practice meditation..yoga!

take your time to find yourself a partner.you should never be in a hurry for love.let it take its own course.you still have time.

last but not the least forgive the people who have wronged you.develop a positive attitutude and be good to them.you do not have to go out of your ways but you have to act maturely.

you can do it! goodluck!

Answer 3

Hello my friend

Firstly you know the reason why you are in shambles.Since it is past and u have already had to accepted it.So dont let that have any more effect on u.Simply because u didnot like that and that was destined to happen.Its past.Now u are the only hope of ur aged mother, now understand what kind of situation she would be in if u urself her hope is in such a traumatic state.You will have to understand ur own past as u mentioned that u were a child hood hero.Now forget all that hurts u and start making a new life.Because u are the who is going to design it and take it further.As far as relation ship is concerned try to forge a relationship withyour divorced spouse if she was not at fault set things right. uronly 24 man.Or look for the other best solution in this case..Understand that as far as social relationships are concerned i think movies portray them better.We all know them.But u might also have people who want to be on ur side ,want to help u and be friendly with u.So enjoy their company better.spend ur energy in making a new beginning and make urself wish u get married soon and make a happy family.So you dont be in dark.Welcome the dawn in ur life.And wish that u will be happy and make other members also happy.

Answer 4

Dear son.I feel a little sad when I read this.Do not think what is in my hand? U have ten fingers to work.A good mind to start your life. U were a super star in your school daysand still u can be a super star.Be active.Do any work.Do not hesitate to do any work.NOBODY is going to give u money.U have to go search for it.Sitting ideally will not lead us near money.Even the garbage cleaner job is also not a bad one.Waht ever job u do U must be the number one in it.Ignore your mother"s nagging.Say yes mom and say some thing nice to her will help her.U r thinking of yourself only.Think of your mother.Take a decision that I will make my mom happy and start your work.Son, God gave us a full healthy body, nice young age.U in your age should be very happy and active.Do not bother about others. Even u earn a penny it must be your money not other people"s money.Then only u can spend it proudly.ok God Loves you and He wants you.

Answer 5

Keep your chin up. You need to commit to yourself that you are going to do whatever it takes to make your life better. Even if it's a little bit at first. Don't let yourself down either. Making a commitment to yourself is the most important thing you can do. After all if you can't be true to yourself who can you be true to? Find out what in life make you happy. See if you can build a career on that. Don't ever quit, keep plugging away. If you stay strong and stick with it you will do it! Best of Luck.

Answer 6

I am sorry you are having a rough time, when I went through really bad times I almost lost everything, I got really depressed, my Mom passed and I went under. I am still fighting to get back on my feet, I have a great job, I lost alot due to depression, but now I am fighting and winning. You have to have faith in yourself, which I think you have deep down inside, you just have to find it. Your Mom probably is not happy, right now, but that does not mean she won't get better. I hope she does get better with you, I wish you the best, things seem to get worse before they get better. Maybe talking to your Mother about how you feel might help. I wish I still had my Mom to talk to.

Answer 7

Over the last five years I had begun to have increasingly withdraw into a downward spiral of depression..

But now with the method I can fully focus my energy and thoughts into a decisive line on how to make my life better constantly. And it works like magic! I'm beginning to attract people to me once again and things have just been looking up since then.

Helping you eliminate depression?

Answer 8

I am not sure why your against a counsellor. Basically there are two options for depression. Medication or examining the interrelationship between your thoughts, moods, and behaviors. The latter is what CBT therapists will do with you and it is the best option. You could pick up a book (e.g., Mind over Mood) and work through it yourself

Answer 9

My dear, its not the circumstances that are responsible for our problems, but its our reaction to the circumstances that leads to problems. We all face difficult times in life, you come out of them if you can walk through them, but if you stop in the centre how will you come out of it. Everything is moving in this world, life itself is a movement. Nothing can remain as it is, circumstances have to change, we must keep moving, we must be alive. Thoughts will come and go and when things are adverse you will have negative thoughts. But these are just thoughts, figment of our imagination, result of our fears, not the reality. In reality you are alive, living, surviving. Have patience, come to terms with reality and live as best a life as you can in the circumstances and slowly and steadily move forward. Bad times like good times don't last forever. You and only you is going to be able to deal with the situation and come out of it, do not expect somebody else to show you the way.

Answer 10

First of all you're in a tail spin because of all this crap parents and former wife are putting you through. Get yourself to the dr. and tell them everything you told us. From what you've posted, I'm seeing a possible road to depression. A dr. can help you with that.

Don't reject a counselor suggestion, WHY, because one thing I've found out is that sometimes other can see things going on that we cannot because we're too close to the issuse. Example, I'm a single parent, widowed, low income as well, of an Autistic child with violent behaviors. Living with "mr. moody" makes your day look calm. At least you don't have to duck flying objects when he gets mad. Now, to my point...What I didn't see when he was at an ealier age was the fact he was trying to use bullying tactics on me, BUT a close friend saw and told me.

Because of her I was able to apply other techniques to raising my son and correct his aggressions better. Now, why not to balk the councelor idea? Well, it's simple, for the same reason...they have delt with plenty of people, a lot in the same boat as YOU!, or simular. Someone else can give you ideas and points of view that you never had. In other words, ideas on how to better deal with mom's controlling ways.

My mom's a control freak at times as well, my late husband was worse, been there, done that, got the T-shirt, BURNT the damned thing.

Anyways, you need to have your own existance as well. It's wonderful that you're trying to help out and care for your parents, but hon, you NEED respite care help. What that is, IS someone comes into the house and cares for your parents while you get a little outting ever so many days.

I've been caring for my son for 10 years now by myself and it's mentally wearing. There are programs via Social Services that, and emergency services, that may can help you. Call up social services and ask them about in home care for your father, and mom if she's in need. What they will do if your parents qualify, is to come in and help with daily routines and care, such as fixing food, cleaning, whatever is needed, so many hours a week. YOU get the hell outta there for some time to yourself. And don't tell me you don't need it, your post says you do. And if mom likes it or not, do it.

Now, if you ever need medication and don't have the $$ to get it, http://www.freemeds.com look at the left and choose brand name or generic. Click on one of those and look up your medications name. They can help you get medication, based on income, and they usually send a 3 month supply each time. All the instructions are there on what to do. Print out a form and take it with you to the dr. if you have meds you need.

Another is the free clinic. Since you're low on money, chances are you'll qualify for any medical care and medication needed.

Get off your rear and get yourself some medical help before you go bullistict. And medication can help. I took Zoloft for a while after all the shitt my late husband put me through. It helped. Now I'm back on track and off meds.