I didnt expect ofr things to turn out like this at all, and it totally blind sided me. She wants to move to Austin where her ebst friend lives, to "start over". Im 24, shes 23, we were together for 5 years. I dont want to let her go, but she doesnt want to stay. Things have changed so much, and I feel so hurt and alone. Do i try ot keep her? Do i let the love of my life go?
We both depend on each other 99 percent. We both have a VERY small group of friends. People tell me that she is moving on to see how serious I am about my committment to her. Marriage was definitely something I wanted with her. But, hse has mentioned in the past that she's not ready for marriage. While she broke up with me, she sd that she wanted to be married by 25. So, somewhere, there is a lie or something. HONEST ANSWERES ONLY, no sarcasm please.
Do I let her go, do I try to hold on, do I try to re-kindle romance that we once had, passion that we once had? Things have changed, can they be fixed?
2006-08-31 06:49:49 · 20 answers · asked by IdahoJoe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
shes not finding her self she found someone else don't let her fool you...
2006-08-31 06:53:15 · answer #1 · answered by poisondragon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the way I see it I have been with my fiance for the past three years and I know that even though sometimes every relationship has its problems that I would NEVER think of leaving him. However, if she has decided to move away you need to talk with her about this before she does move away. The thing is though with proposing to her and asking her to stay its kind of like if you do so after hearing about her move she might think that you are just trying to get her to stay and that you are holding her down. The issue with that is that if you really want her to stay you need to let her know and explain to her that you do love her and you dont want her to go. I cant see "testing" my fiance by saying that I wanted to move away from him because all that does is create a sense of hurt between the couple. You should tell her that you dont want to see her go and explain why you dont want her too. If proposing to her will get her to stay then do so if you want to marry her for sure but dont do it unless you are confident with your decision. A relationship is two people...you need to figure out whats best for both of you in order for it to work out.
2006-08-31 06:56:34 · answer #2 · answered by Mandy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are the man, the myth and the legend, she should be the one that is totally lost. Just listenn to yourself...obviously she does not depend on you the way you think she does, or she would not be thinking of moving away...you really need to let the one that doesn't want you go....you sound like a very nice guy, there are girls/women that are hunting desperately for a nice guy..get out there and let them see you....your soul mate is probably wondering where you are at this moment...good luck
2006-08-31 07:37:29 · answer #3 · answered by sweetpea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you are hurting so bad right now but it will probably be best for both of you and your relationship if you let her go. But be sure she knows you are doing it so she will be happy and that you will be there for her if she needs you. Take it from me if you try to keep her when she doesn't want to and then she decides to stay just for you then she will begin to resent you. That's what my husband did and after almost 10 years of being together I resent him so much because I put my dreams and life on hold to make him happy. So finally my advice is to let her go but please be sure she knows how much you love her and how much you are going to miss her. NOW I'm not saying wait on her for years while she is off living her life (i.e. dating and being with other men) but if she is willing to have a long distance type relationship that is what I am talking about. (Sorry if I confused you I'm try help honestly. I really hope this makes sense.)
2006-08-31 07:08:45 · answer #4 · answered by murphysgrl01 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that "start over" is an excuse. If she prefers to stay with her best friends, well, it seems to me that you are not even in that group.
Just let her have some time alone, maybe she will get back, maybe not, but at least you will know that she wasn't the correct person for you, and that you did all what you have to do.
2006-08-31 06:54:56 · answer #5 · answered by Mila 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is where you sit down with her and put it all out there. Let her know how you feel. Tell her your concerns about your relationship. If she still wants to go, let her go because you can't make her happy.
When you love someone and they want to leave, let them leave. You can't make someone feel like you feel. It will be hard but you'll be ok. You seem decent and not the type to play games, so you will find another nice girl who won't put you through this. Good luck.
2006-08-31 06:53:54 · answer #6 · answered by Hpnotiq 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her go. Its the only thing you can do. If you hold on to her .. its goin to make her hurt worse. Don't think she doens't love you because if she was with you for 5 years then she has more then love for you.
Just let her go and let her find herself. She'll come back.
She loves you.
Good luck with everything. I know how you feel and how depressed it can make you so I hope everything works out perfectly.
2006-08-31 06:55:32 · answer #7 · answered by Please Whisper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say goodbye and realize your codependency of each other. You need time for yourself to heal and find out who "you" are. This same thing happened to me. I was with my GF for 4 years and she moved to San Fransisco to "find herself" That was 3 years ago and it was the best thing that happened to both of us. We depended on each other, lived together but did not grow together. I took me about a year to realize this but time heals. We are best friend now, and in better relationships. Good luck, try to make this a positive and work on yourself now.
2006-08-31 06:58:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you guys have been together through a lot of changes.. she has gone from a young lady to a women with you.. she probably has no idea who she it. Let her find out how she can deal with the world with out. If not, she will regret it for the rest of her life.
2006-08-31 06:52:06 · answer #9 · answered by C-BIZZLE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should give her some space. let her go. because she probably is not sure if she really loves you.or she meet some one else. she does not want to be with you any more does not have guts to tell you the true. she probably does not love you any more. find some one else.let her go and if she comes back to yuo then she loves you thats test.
2006-08-31 07:03:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure it can be fixed...hope is not lost...TRue love covers all.....If she needs to find herself then let her.....in the meantime, U use the time to find ureself as well.....rediscover or dscover rather who you are......at 24 i dont believe that you really know......Honestly, u have to let her go.....if she comes back then u know its real....she's in it for the long haul....if she doesn't, then as hard as it might be.....u must move on with life......
hope this helps.....
2006-08-31 06:55:46 · answer #11 · answered by sincere030170 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋