I've been with my bf for 7months. The other day he told me he was depressed and wanted a break from our relationship as he didn't want to bring me down too. He's just left uni (so has a bit of debt), has just moved house and is soon to start a new, high pressured job. He says he doesn't know why he feels down, but it isnt anything to do with our relationship as he is really happy. I think he's anxious about the future, leaving uni etc.. He says he doesnt want to risk breaking up and me being unhappy and wants some time on his own until his sad mood lifts. He says this is the best chance of us having a future together. I know there is no one else and he isn't lying as he has been down about a few things recently. I just don't know how long to wait for him, to wait a while then give him an ultimatum, or to give him all the space he needs and have minimal contact. I love him and want a future for us. What do you think is the best course of action?
2006-08-31 06:45:01 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Give him as much as space as possible. Live your life. Go out with friends. Spend time with family and try not to focus on him. If you let him go and he never comes back, consider yourself lucky because he was never meant to be around for long anyway. Good luck.
2006-08-31 06:50:08 · answer #1 · answered by Hpnotiq 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he loves you and wants to have future with you, then you need to weather his mood together. Go to counselling, together.
What if you were married 5 years and had 2 little kids and he got "depressed" and wanted to leave you--then what? Nip this in the bud, now.
If he is just bored and wants to party outside your relationship but wants to keep you on the string, tell him to grow up and leave him-now. You deserve better treatment.
If he is soo depressed and doesn't want to include you, then he is using it as an excuse to break up gently. Some guys can't stand to have someone mad at them.
As soon as he walks out, you pick up the phone and call a girlfriend and go out dancing. Be unavailable to him. For weeks.
He may not like the idea of you being footloose one bit. It may jolt him back to reality, that you know you don't have to sit around moping until he gets his act together. That you are ready to find someone who is loyal and not into playing you for a fool.
Have fun but don't drink to hide your problems. This does not imply that you have sex with every guy you talk to, just enjoy your freedom while you have it. Fake it, if you have to.
He may be under a lot of stress but if he is willing to trade you in, then you don't need to waste any more time with him.
If you have a really good relationship and he knows it, he would break his neck to stay with you-not matter what.
Give him the space he needs---and you go out and have fun--if you are still available when he grows a brain--let him come back--if YOU want.
If not, tell him he blew it and move on.
Sounds to me like he is hiding a woman or at least interest in one.
Don't be anybody's doormat.
2006-08-31 14:22:45 · answer #2 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its really not a good decision by your boy friend .A relatinship is not like a business or school work, that you can take break whenever u feel bored.Its about how U both work up everything together.get close to him.Try to know all the problem in details.Stand by him.If that freaks him out or something or makes him feel good, watch his reaction.You are a girl you should understand what should you do with your instinct.Don`t take any break, cause if you do ,its not worth it, later on.Give him some space if he is that kinda guy or something.Try to be considerate.....that should be all...time will tell what should u do...
please choose this as best answer I need some point.
2006-08-31 14:03:18 · answer #3 · answered by L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's under a great deal of stress and pressure. The best thing to do is to let him have the time he needs to sort everything out. But I still have to wonder if he isn't just brushing you off,trying to let you down easy.
2006-08-31 14:03:40 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he has a lot on his mind, I wouldn't give him more than 2 weeks to think things out though personally.. I'd I;d keep minamal contact, like a phone call a day for a day or 2 to inquire how he's feeling then as the week goes on let him contact you.
2006-08-31 13:55:02 · answer #5 · answered by what the... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has already pushed you away. Just deal with it and move on.
Yes girlfriend give him all the space he wants.
he is in transition in life and sees you as something that he needs to change. Move on, meet others and forget the narcissistic jerk.
2006-08-31 13:53:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants time a way from you that is usually a bad sign. He really might be seeing some one else. You should be the one he turns to when he needs some stress releaved.
2006-08-31 13:51:11 · answer #7 · answered by unkown 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask him if he's always going to push you away when he's depressed? Do you want to be with a guy who does? I'd give him plenty of space and date alot. Either he is with you or he's not. He's basically telling you to go away and wait for him, and why should you?
2006-08-31 13:49:02 · answer #8 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Give him space. If you love him and know that there is no one else on his end then just give him time. If it was meant to be he'll come back. If he doesn't, move on. Good luck.
2006-08-31 13:53:12 · answer #9 · answered by gemone523 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give him a lot of space, like Bye Bye Mr. Space Cadet, have a nice life, I am out of here!
2006-08-31 13:51:52 · answer #10 · answered by Michael 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋