My mother is divorced but she wants people to think she is a “Mrs.”?

Question

My parents divorced over 15 years ago. They were married for 10 years.

When she fills out forms she puts “Mrs. Smith”

She lived with me and my wife for 6 months and people would call the house asking for “Mrs. Smith”

I thought they were talking about my wife, but then I realized they were talking about my mom.

I told them there is only one “Mrs. Smith” and to not call my house for a “Mrs.” unless it’s for my wife.

My mom is almost jealous my wife is “Mrs. Smith” and tries to call herself the same.

Is this just plain weird? She has been divorced for YEARS, she has never remarried, so why does she think she is a wife?

And she is not in love with my father, he died a few years ago and she still talks bad about him.

Answer 1

It is not up to you to decide who gets to be called Mrs. Smith.

Unless your mother took back her maiden name after divorce, she is still Mrs. Smith.

She doesn't need a Mr. in order to still be Mrs. It's a customary title, and it does not always convey current marital status.

Answer 2

Mrs. can also be used by a divorced or widowed woman. It's not at all inappropriate for her to use it and it's her choice. I agree that it does make the telephone calls and messages confusing sometimes.
The jealousy and protective issues are a different matter. Probably she feels vulnerable, but you should assure her that you love her and that she is always welcome to come visit. Does she have a "life" now, friends, hobbies and interests. Even if she never remarries, it would be best for her to stay active and keep her interests going. It would also be better for you.
Fortunately I don't have this problem. My only son is married and I have a granddaughter. I love my daughter-in-law very much. She is so wonderful. I wish I lived closer to them, but I realize that we all have our own separate lives. Talk to your wife please and see if she has any issues with your mom that need work or gentle and patient guidance.

Answer 3

Women have a higher status in society if they are married, and people tend to look at older women who are a Ms. like there is something wrong with them, like a spinster. We might have had feminism and such, but there are still some old fashioned stereotypes we fall into. Most divorced women I know are still a Mrs, some have switched. I find it depends on their age, the younger ones don't care, the older ones do.

Answer 4

Evidently it is very important for your mother to be called "Mrs. Smith" by other people. Why don't you stop being irritated by it, and allow her this consideration.

Answer 5

maybe she just wants to feel better about herself. and maybe she really misses your dad, but she's hiding it by saying all this mean crap about him. if she's not dating of anything the problem just might be that she's very lonely inside and out.

Answer 6

juz let her be.. .

gud luk! :)