For the person who can tell me the funniest joke... and ill give you 10 Points!!!
2006-08-31 05:21:44 · 27 answers · asked by 1 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Death Row in Women's Prison
Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"
Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"
Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.
The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"
Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!"
Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.
By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"
And the blonde yells, "FIRE!!!"
2006-08-31 05:28:06 · answer #1 · answered by the ole ball and chain 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over and walked up to the car. The police officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license.
The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman "What does a driver's license look like?" Irritated, the blonde cop said "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"
The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman.
The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all this hassle.
2006-08-31 05:30:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The other day, my friends and I went to this "club". One of my buddy wanted to impressed us so he called the "dancer" over. He pulled out a fifty dollar bills, licked it, and put it on her "cheeck". My other buddy didn't want to be out done, so he call the girl back, pulled out a hundred dollar bills, licked it, and put it on her other "cheeck." Now the attention is focused on me. What do I do next? I pulled out my wallet, thought for a minute, then the banker in me took over. I took out my ATM Card, swipe down the crack, grabbed the hundred fifty, and then ran home.
If this makes you LOL then you better give me that 10 pts.
2006-08-31 05:34:15 · answer #3 · answered by revolou 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep your points. I heard this the other day and thought it was cute.
Two old ladies are out shopping and got caught in the rain. One of the old ladies pulled out a cigarette, then took a condom, snipped the tip off, slid it over her cigarette and lit it.
The other old lady watched her and as they preceded with walk. The other lady asked her why she had done that. The old lady said.
"I don't want to get my cigarette wet."
The other lady thought this was brilliant. She went to the drug store the next day and asked the pharmacist. For a pack of condoms. The pharmacists was surprised. He asked her what size, color, flavor, etc. The little old lady said.
"I don't know what size. I want one big enough to fit a Camel."
2006-08-31 05:34:13 · answer #4 · answered by Balou 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy.
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.
2006-08-31 05:31:43 · answer #5 · answered by qtiebabie06 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A man walks into a bar, sits down on a bench and orders a cold one. He swigs down the beer, looks in his pocket, cringes and orders another. He gulps down that one, looks in his pocket again, cringes and orders yet another one. This goes on for at least an hour and a half.
Finally, the bartender, bursting with curiosity, says, "I know it's none of my business buddy, but I have to ask: Why the whole 'drink, look in pocket, cringe and order another one' routine?"
"Well," slurred the man, "There's a picture of my wife in my pocket. When she starts to look good, then it's time for me to go home."
2006-08-31 05:25:26 · answer #6 · answered by dP 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Men were given a brain and a penis. The only problem is that they were only given enough blood to work one at a time.
2006-08-31 05:24:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok this is a sick one but hey its funny...ok these three guys were walking through the desert and they came up on this shack. they knocked on the door and this fat ugly woman came out. they asked her for water but she said only if u have sex with me. well two of the guys said he** no but the last guy said. hey i'm thirsty so ok. they went into the shack and she took her cloths off. he said ok but u have to have your eyes closed. she said ok and he went to the kitchen and grabbed a head of corn. he stuck it in her and started to go at it and then tossed it out the window. she gave him a glass of water and he asked for another but she told him he had to do the same thing to her. well he made her close her eyes as he got a corn cob and stuck it in her and did the deed. he through it out the window and got the drink. he walked out of the shack and told his buddies how good and cold that water was. his buddies said,"yea but we had some nice warm buttered corn." haha hope i get the points. lol
2006-08-31 05:34:42 · answer #8 · answered by ryan s 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
banana A says to banana B
A: is so hot
(A strips off n continue walking)
n B fell down str8 after that~
2006-08-31 06:32:26 · answer #9 · answered by tattoo babe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yo mamma so old, fat and hairy, that when she took you to the zoo the zookeepers thought a silverback Gorilla had abducted you!
2006-08-31 05:54:58 · answer #10 · answered by NavyBoi 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋