My ex tells me that whenever my 13 yr old son is on the motorcycle with him he makes him wear a helmet. They even rode up and he did have a helmet on him. Afterwards, my son told me his dad only borrowed the helmet for my sake but he had never wore one any of the 5 or 6 times before. So my ex is lying straight to my face and putting my son in danger. But there is no law against being stupid. My son does not want me to say anything to his father because he feels caught in the middle and his dad would be mad at him. I can't afford to go out and buy a helmet (father already owes back child support for last 2 years).
Any suggestions?
2006-08-31 05:14:49 · 12 answers · asked by melissa_lost 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have posted on a free website. I cannot force my son to not ride when his dad insists on him to do so. Telling him he'll be grounded will only close the communication lines between me and my son and I don't want that.
Thanks for all the replies.
2006-08-31 05:34:22 · update #1
I have taken him to court basically can't get money out of man who won't work. Also can't force my son to wear helmet if I am not with him and dad doesnt care. I can talk with him, threaten him, and in the end he will do what his dad wants because he is with his dad that weekend and his dad gets mad at him. Courts say he has to go to his dads unless there is physical abuse and that does not count. No laws in Illinois and I can't move out of state unless courts allow it.
2006-09-02 05:22:52 · update #2
While there is no law for being stupid, there may be a law against letting a child ride with out a helmet.
I live in Florida where there is no helmet law for adults but children have to wear one on a motorcycle or a bike.
I would contact the local authorities and ask for their advice.
As far as talking to your ex. I have aways considered what I call the butt kicking factor. If I let my kid do something and the worst possible thing happened, how long would I kick myself in the butt over the decision I had made? So my question to you is, if you let your son continue to ride on the motorcycle with his father without a helmet and you don't do anything about it, and the worst possible thing happens, How long are you going to kick your self in the butt for it.
My guess would be the rest of your life.
2006-08-31 05:32:23 · answer #1 · answered by nana4dakids 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a site in your area such as freecycle. Put a request out there for a helmet. Explain whats going on and why you want it, i bet someone will be very understanding and you'll wind up with a helmet. However, you know there is no guarantee that he will wear it when he's with his dad. What are the helmet laws in your state. Call the highway patrol and ask them. There may be laws about children on motorcycles and wearing helmets. If there is such a law that state he has to wear it report your X!!!!! Don't take a chance. It's a hard situation for you. And if there are no laws against it, there is not much you can do. Do you live close to a state line? Are the laws different if they should cross the state line while on the bike. Frankly your X is and idiot for putting his son's life in danger. Would he like to visit the morgue and see what could really happen????? I really feel for you. I hope some other folks here have some better answers for you. Good Luck Hon.
2006-08-31 12:26:21 · answer #2 · answered by Yvonne D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the police and tell them what's going on. Let them know that your son told you in confidence and that you want this to be an anonimous tip. They should go over to the father's house and ask to see the spare helmet. They can not arrest him because they did not see it happen, however they will warn him. Next time you see the father let him know that somebody came up to you and told you "the news" and they you insist on your son wearing a helmet or he won't ride. That is your son's excuse for not getting on the bike. Some kids who don't want to stand up for themselves for whatever reason just needs an excuse and Mom being mad at him and possibly grounding him is an awfully good excuse.
2006-08-31 12:25:38 · answer #3 · answered by jdecorse25 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a clear case of 100% custody to me. If my 8 yo has to be in a booster seat I can't see why a 13 yo riding without a helmet on a motorcycle isn't child endangerment.
Move to a state with a motorcycle helmet law. Plus if he is a deadbeat dad take him to court and get his visitation rights taken away.
You can't be your son's best friend AND his mother. You are responsible for his safety even if it makes him not like you.
2006-08-31 14:58:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Behind for two years in child support? If that's the case his license must be suspended. In NY after being behind 1500 bucks you lose your driving privileges. I'm surprised you haven't gone to court to put in a petition for payment. Do so and you'll never have to worry about the helmet again. You also better check if his license is good.
2006-08-31 12:48:38 · answer #5 · answered by mackey208 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he can't get on the motorcycle!! It's the safest thing to do. It really bugs me too knowing that there's no law that makes people wear helmets when riding a motorcycle. People can be really stupid!!
2006-08-31 12:19:58 · answer #6 · answered by Heather 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make your son to stop riding the motocylce if he is not going to wear a helmet, also let your ex know how you feel about this.
2006-08-31 12:29:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's your responsibility to take care of your son NO HELMET NO RIDE it's a simple as that
2006-08-31 19:16:10 · answer #8 · answered by Sandra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dad should be shot for not making the kid wear a helmet
2006-08-31 12:19:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the very least it is child endangerment. I don't know what kind of visitation your x has but if he is behind 2 years on support payments, I would think a judge would suspend his visitation.
2006-08-31 12:21:03 · answer #10 · answered by bubu 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋