The only people that I ever loved in my life are my sisters and my now ex-husband. My husband treated me badly, but it took me years to figure out that I didn't deserve it.
I really don't want to go through all that again. Love just hurts too much and costs too much in terms of low self-esteem and broken dreams.
In addition, based on the answers that I am getting to my questions on here... there really aren't many men out there who are interested in an adventerous, outdoorsy 'career' woman, all the men seem to want is someone to be at home and look after their kids. I got called 'cold' and 'unloving' by someone who felt that women should focus on being in the home and playing traditional roles.
That's just not for me I'm afraid. I'm about ready to give up on the whole thing and plan to live my life alone. At least I'll get to pick the furniture and where to go on holiday.
Is this the right thing to do? Should I keep trying? Is there a man out there for me?
2006-08-31 05:07:11 · 24 answers · asked by SmartBlonde 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You don't have to give up on love, but focus on enjoying life as single woman. It's one of the most important lessons we can learn in life. Be yourself, be happy, and one day the right man will come along and join you.
If you don't feel like you need a man, you won't compromise and you won't put up with someone like your ex for very long... so whoever you end up with, it'll be for all the right reasons and the relationship will enhance your life, not cause you pain.
Until then, it's all about you- pursue your own interests and don't give a 2nd thought as to what men might want you to be like- the right one will only want you to be yourself.
2006-08-31 05:22:53 · answer #1 · answered by - 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally I think giving up on love is a good idea anyway regardless of weather your in a relationship or not. I've been single for 4 years, 3 months and 6 days, and it really hasn't been that hard, keep in mind I've only had 1 g/f my entire life, and I'm 22.
Anyway, reasons why relationships are a waste of time
1)They cost money
2)Depending on your age (the 18 -24 group i believe) have a divorce rate of 55%
3)You put all your time and effort into doing something useful into a person, who could potentially NOT feel the same way
4)If your in a state that has joint custody and you fail to get a pre - nub agreement before marriage, basically your saying here, take 50% of my stuff whenever you feel like it
5)Many married men and women now kill their spouse to collect insurance money, the antifreeze and gas treatment in the morning OJ is becoming popular. If you don't believe me look at how many times a year this DOES happen.
6)Even if you get your partner tested for STDs there is always a chance he/she could cheat on you and you can get one anyway (even if you use condoms)
So give up, or keep trying its your choice, just weight your options.
If you want to get a man, stop waiting for someone to save you, and start saving yourslef. Go out, and ask a guy out, its not that hard for women.
2006-08-31 05:20:47 · answer #2 · answered by D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
way to go, you!
now that you've accepted that you didn't deserve the treatment from your ex-husband, it really is time for you to move on!
there are many men in this world just like your ex, but luckily there are many, many more that are a damn sight nicer and who don't just want a 'live in cleaner'.
i don't know what age you are, but i really don't think it matters much. there are single men out there in all age groups!
plan your life the way it suits you. enjoy your experiences and savour your successes. if you meet a man along the way that you want to share your life with, you can both compromise to accommodate each other's lifestyles. if you don't meet anyone, then you'll still have had a good life that's been well lived!
just remember, it's better to be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong ones.
there truly are some lovely men out there and i don't think you should ever give up on love.
wish i could tell you how to meet one! xXx
2006-08-31 05:23:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion is go on a holiday n relax urself. My case is similar to u. But the thing is I didnt get committed into marriage.And I suffered a lot more coz this guy not only called me unlovable and stone hearted but also made me feel I couldnot be loved by any human being on the earth. I jus concentrated on my career. Now I've got my love my true love.Do the same. Talk to lots of friends, get close to ur sisters and dont ever think about the loneliness.U deserve to be loved and that too by a worthy person who understands u.
2006-08-31 06:27:52 · answer #4 · answered by winterblossom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is it so important for a women to need a man? I blame the way us ladies are brought up it all stems back to the fairy tales we were all told as girls. A knight on a white horse will come along and rescue us and we'll live happily ever after.....but what if that knight never finds our address? Is that the worst thing that could happen to us? No it is not! If being a boring housewife just isn't for you then it isn't and you shouldn't be made to feel bad about that.Girls you can still enjoy life without the need for a mans approval! On a final note I will say however don't close yourself off from love altogether. If it comes along then great but if it doesn't know that, that isn't the worst thing that could happen to you. Enjoy life and live for that! And remember Your Amazing!
2006-08-31 05:26:08 · answer #5 · answered by Queen D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awww, come and get a great big hug! You still do hugs don't you? Careers shouldn't get in the way of a hug now and again!
I must admit I don't understand the "career-minded" thing however - what's the point in spending your entire life doing a job you'll never get any thanks for - ever? Is going to a stressful job and coming home tired and depressed every night really worth the effort. In 100 years time, nobody's really going to care whether you were a street sweeper or a high flying city executive now are they? And all you get for it when you retire is a pat on the back, a watch and a pension until you pop your clogs.
2006-08-31 05:12:02 · answer #6 · answered by bigscary_monster 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, I think that is a great philosophy, that way you could go through your life never actually knowing anyone!
I personally think that love is not something you plan. It will always manage to turn up in the most un expected places.
I feel for you as I have been in the same position. I decided to focus on me for a bit (not quite plan my life alone, but just do something for me) I went travelling to find myself and low and behold, I met my fiance.
even if things don't work out for what ever reason, it is better to have been happy for just one split second than to be a wrinkley old hermit!
Good luck.
Laura
2006-08-31 05:18:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. There is somebody out there for everybody and you shouldn't give up on love and you are a good candidate to find it because you are now more willing to accept the fact of being alone than being with someone and still feeling alone.
You can be happy and single instead of married and miserable trying to find a way out of your misery meaning a divorce.
Always honor your God given qualities of wanting nothing but respect in your love life.
God gave you the human right to get and deserve someone who truly and I mean truly love you for who you are.
Don't give up on love give up on people who block the blessings of love by having very high self esteem and respect and love of yoursel and then and only then will you find true love and if you don't at least you have shown that you love yourself enough to find peace in your own happiness.
You can still date a nice guy but know that nothing will come of it and be happy with making yourself happy if all else fails.
Good Luck on love.
2006-08-31 05:28:39 · answer #8 · answered by words from the heart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never give up. It may be as simple as you being chronically attracted to the wrong kind of guy. Perhaps changing your focus will help. But... at its very basic... for every type of person, there is another person who loves that type. Giving up is a bit too convenient. If you're a smart, career woman, then you know that you're copping out. Don't give up. Just look for a guy who cares as much about your wants, your career, your desires as you do. He's out there. Hang in there.
2006-08-31 05:15:41 · answer #9 · answered by BeenThere69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course there is a man out there for you. You have obviously had a rough time of it but there is a person for everyone. You say that you are an outdoorsy career woman. Would you give up your career if your boss was horrible and you had to change jobs? Quitting is for losers so never give up. There is a man out there who is looking for you too.
2006-08-31 05:13:52 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋