Ok so i recently startted hooking up with this guy, I really like him. Hes got a Phat crib. (new, big, gorgeous house) great personality, and we have so much fun when we are together. But since we have been sexually active, it seems as if he is addicted to me. But he refuses to help me out any way financially.. like he lives about an hour away..he begs me to come every nite.. but never offers to help with gas money.. he never has taken me out to dinner.. tho he has cooked for me.. and he always has a bottle of my favorite wine waiting for me when i get there.. so really my question is, does he really like me.. or is this attraction soley based on sex?
2006-08-31 04:52:21 · 25 answers · asked by misskaykai 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There is only one way to find out. Tell him that you don't have the money to put gas in your car. And that you can't come and see him. Wait and see how he responds.
See if he offers to come and pick you up. Or see if he offers to give you money for gas.
Also maybe he thinks that you only want to be with him because of the money. He's probably looking for a women who wants him and not all his money.
Personally I don't think you should be asking him for a dime of his money for you finanical needs.
You aren't married to this man. He isn't responsible for your bills.
And as far as taking you out for dinner maybe he is trying to see how you react to him not spending money on you.
He is looking for love. He is looking for someone to share his life with but he doesn't want a greedy *****.
If he wanted someone to just **** he could afford to buy one for the night. I'm sure that there are plenty of women out there that would bend over backwards for him if it meant he would give them money.
I think that this guy really likes you. But I also think that he is testing you. He wants to see where your loyalities lie. With him or with his money.
Don't ever ask him for money at any cost. No matter how broke you are.
When he calls and wants you to come over and you don't have the gas to get there be honest. Say baby I don't have the gas to make it there or the money to put gas in my car.
And then say to him if you want to see me tonight then you will have to come and pick me up and bring me back home.
and wait for his response..
He will either agree to come and pick you up or he won't. And chances are if he wants to see you bad enough he will. And there is even a possiblity that he will offer to put gas in your car if you have enough gas to make it there.
But if he doesn't offer either of these things try not to get up set.
Tell him you will give him a call when you have the gas to make it over. See what he says then.
He could just be being cautious of his money. Or you could just be a booty call though i find this highly unlikely seeing as other women would do this for him. And he would call them instead of you.
Try to pretend that you don't like or want or need his money and I guarntee that he will start spending some of it on you when he finds out that you aren't just in it for the money.
Even when he starts to spend it on you tell him that he shouldn't have. Let him think that his gifts can never give you the satisfaction that he can but let him know that the gifts are heart felt because they are from him and not from the price he payed for them.
Get to know the man before his money. Make the effort with him not his money. and in the end you may find your self happy and in love, with him and all that he has to offer.
One more thing, you need to imagine how you would feel about this guy if tommorrow he suddenly went broke. How would you feel about him?
You need to make sure that he is the one making you happy and not the thought of his money. You need to make sure that if someday you were to marry him that you would be willing to stay if he suddenly became broke.
This happens to well off people all the time.
Anyway I wish you the best of luck in your realtionship. I hope things go well for you. Drop us a line sometime when you find out what this guy and you are all about.
2006-08-31 05:37:47 · answer #1 · answered by rockn75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When it comes to men, who really knows! However, he asks you over, COOKS for you, and has your favorite bottle of wine ready for you? I'd say this guy is hooked. You could look at it this way, a way to a man's heart is food. A way to a woman's heart is romance. This guy is trying both of these theories, he's creating a food that will (hopefully) make you feel as if it would make him feel if you were to do the same. And, he's being romantic by creating a scene of intimacy with your favorite wine. I think he's in to you.
But, you might want to ask yourself that question as well, do you really like him . . . or is this atttraction soley based on money? The first thing you mentioned to explain how great he is was his house. Then you refer to it again by saying that he never helps you financially. Figure out if it's true for you too. And if it is and gas is a problem, let him know! Next time he asks you to come over, tell him you're going broke on gas, and ask him to come over.
2006-08-31 12:01:28 · answer #2 · answered by Sera B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait a minute .. he cooks for you and has your Favorite wine waiting. And you are whining about going outto eat ? WTF is wrogn with you?
You want him ot pay you for gas ? Do you always expect money after sex ? Cuz that is what you are making this sound like !
He is pampering you and you are whining about money.You first statement shows how you think Hhe has a PHAT CRIB - we call that GOLD DIGGING - he worked for his home and everything he got , why should he just give it to you ? Geezus lady grow up and sto pwhining about a gu ywho is cooking for you and treating you nicely.If thats the case go find a boy living in his parents house who plays Vidoe games on a PC/Console system and does not work and see what he can do for you/ And make sure that boy is within walkingdistance of your house ok .that way you will not have any reason to whine about money.
Learn this lessoon DONT LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH.
2006-08-31 12:00:23 · answer #3 · answered by Glenn T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a sex thing. I think you know that. Nothing wrong with the truth. Think about it, he won't do much outside sex. He should be willing to do anything for you. Wanna test him...??? Stop sleeping with him and watch the TRUE him come out. Bet he'll leave you alone...Sad to say but I've been hurt and I know what that's like. Don't get played sweetie. You (nobody for that matter) deserves that. He probably figures that since he's got it going on and most women are attracted to that, that he can get what he wants. You already said, he won't BUY you dinner but he'll cook. No gas money...??? Listen to that statement. There is something wrong...Put him to the test. Stop sleeping with him and I'll betcha he won't want nothing to do with you. Instant attitude...!!! Good luck... : )
2006-08-31 12:00:45 · answer #4 · answered by dolphinman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex always complicates a situation! Why doesn't he come to see you? Why don't you tell him you would love to see him but if you are honestly in need of help with gas money, tell him that! Might I also mention that he has the "Phat crib" and best wine because he worked for and earned what he has and it isn't his responsibility to take care of you. If you want him to take you out, then tell him but be prepared to take him out too.
2006-08-31 12:07:54 · answer #5 · answered by Jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like this is a physical attraction that has a tremendous potential. To offer you money for gas is crude. He is showing his appreciation in so many ways but he has not yet decided you are worthy of being presented in public to his friends. Do not get greedy over the petty stuff and see if there is a real future with a lot of promise in the future. Don't settle for gas money when the entire oil field is at stake.
2006-08-31 12:02:08 · answer #6 · answered by jodie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From the information that you gave, I have to say that this is just based on sex. It's not about him not giving you money, because I wouldn't give you any either-he just met you. If you can't afford to go to this guys house then tell him to come to yours-which is what I would expect him to do since gas is so high. I say that it's based on sex, because from what you say, he just wants to see you in his house and doesn't want anyone else to see you with him. If the relationship is fine the way that it is, I say go with it. If you want more from him, you better have a conversation with him about what you are to each other.
2006-08-31 12:01:26 · answer #7 · answered by writeroftheyear1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems like he is only interested in sex. you two need to discuss whether that is all the relationship is going to be. the very least he could do is give you gas money if you are coming to see him and he lives an hour away. that tells you that he doesn't really care about you at all. he has a big gorgeous house, he can afford to put gas in your tank.
2006-08-31 11:57:34 · answer #8 · answered by Niecy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its hard to tell. most of the time though a guy wouldn't do that just for sex. i mean part of it may be because it may just be that good. but if he's cooking and getting your favorite wine and everything then i likes u. jsut try to get him to come to your place more so that its 50/50 and not u going there only. i mean from me, i'm engaged and me and my fiancee have been having sex for quite some time but i still do everything for her i can. and yes i would say i'm addicted to the sex just because...1) shes my first and only...2) it is great...3) we're going to get married so its not like the relationship is only about sex. u have to put the foot down and make sure he does care about u for yourself. good luck.
2006-08-31 11:59:59 · answer #9 · answered by ryan s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it may be a little of both. Talk to him about that, tell him you can't go over every night and that gas is expensive to drive an hour every day. Be honest, if he doesn't care about you having to drive an hour, or how much gas costs, then he's not worth it dump him find a more considerate guy, who's closer to home.
2006-08-31 12:01:50 · answer #10 · answered by lady_buss_54 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋