Am I unreasonable to expect a man to earn as much as I do and to do the same amount of housework as I do, without having to be asked, and to make some effort to help plan holidays and things?
Should I insist on it, or will that result in me never getting another boyfriend? How much should you do for a man?
2006-08-31 04:47:28 · 19 answers · asked by SmartBlonde 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think it's unreasonable to expect a man to earn as much money as you do. But it's not unreasonable to expect him to carry his weight around the house and help out with the chores.
I've already told my boyfriend that when we get our own place he's going to have to help with the up keep of the house. I think it should be 50/50. You need to establish this BEFORE you move in together. We've already agreed to this so far: He doesn't clean toilets, so I will do it since I don't mind. I don't like sorting out trash and recycling, so he'll do that. It's all about compromise.
2006-08-31 04:53:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a battle that I think most women go through. Not all. Unfortunately I am one of the ones who is going through this. Working full time, coming home to cook, clean and looking after the small one. A lot of times I am so depressed because my husband won't even get up to lift a finger, even if I asked. I have thought seriously many times about divorce.
On the other hand, I have a good friend who's husband helps out around the house and with the kids. On the outside looking in, he is a perfect husband. He is handsome, takes care of his family, respects his wife, takes his family on trips and things to do on the weekend. But there is just one thing. He cheats on her.
So we must wonder, which one would we rather have, a man who doesn't do his share or, a man who cheats?
I think I will keep my husband. (For Now)
2006-08-31 04:53:06 · answer #2 · answered by WANDERER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Expectations that one has is based on how one was raised. No one can expect that another human being was raised the exact same way. You can't demand anything from another. You can communicate about what you'd like, be specific about it and ask for it. Demanding something is disrespecful and authoritative. Who wants that? You'll only create a hostile environment for the both of you, resentment will grow and the relationship will disolve. Every time.
If there is something you want, you need to first understand that others don't think like you so express respectfully what you want and ask what he wants in return.
As far as a salary goes, that's ridiculous. Define your priorities and then stick with them. If money is your priority, than find a man who is a workaholic and control freak. If a partnership is what you want, then work on those aspects of the relationship and focus on values instead of money. You can't have both. Someone is either going to value money more or love more. They don't go hand in hand.
2006-08-31 04:54:36 · answer #3 · answered by Dr. Phil-lys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think in a relationship both people are equal, its really old fashioned for guys to think that they can do less housework or chores, Its harder to influence how much you earn, I think as long as you both work and contribute then that should be ok. Personally I've always found it a bit the other way round I love cooking and have usually ended up cooking most meals for gf's in the past and I have my own house so I've always done my own cleaning and house work.
2006-08-31 05:10:41 · answer #4 · answered by crownose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel that is you are in a relationship you should share the work load and that includes housework etc. unfortunately the reality of it is men don't see it that way.
you can try and insist on it and he might help but that is a choice you are going to have to make for yourself.
2006-08-31 04:57:10 · answer #5 · answered by liongirl_40 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not unreasonable, but the more obsessed you are with making everyting "Fair" the better chance that it will not be fair an dyou will be alone. If your man does not do his share, he possbibly never will so is it worth a fight, and make sure to see things from his side, he may not feel that things are not balanced.
2006-08-31 04:50:44 · answer #6 · answered by Steven K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not unreasonable to expect any one to do their fair share, but be realistic are you really going to find that person.
2006-08-31 04:53:28 · answer #7 · answered by middle aged and love it 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think everyone should do their fair share, man, woman and child. when you meet the guy, if he isn't helpful and willing...he will not change later...same with a woman. don't get with someone and expect them to suddenly want to do all this stuff. and you say you are a smart blonde, are you sure????
2006-08-31 04:51:34 · answer #8 · answered by canada grl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get another boyfriend-Trust me. If he is not doing his part now he really will not after you get married. I know. I have been with someone for 16 yrs. He started that way and he just got worse.
2006-08-31 04:50:48 · answer #9 · answered by gee-geeofmo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make him do his share if you contribute your share too. But if he's really a good man you won't even have to ask him he'll do it on his own
2006-08-31 04:54:58 · answer #10 · answered by peter gunn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋