Don't get me wrong, I love the comfortable garden furniture that you produce but it must take ages, how do you get the time to do that and run naked around a big oak tree covered in blood?
2006-08-31 04:39:03 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Normally I defend Wicca here, but this is kind of funny.
2006-08-31 04:42:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
It's not bloody easy, let me tell you! You should see my diary entry for yesterday:
Eat healthy breakfast
Work
Counsel friend on love life.
Search out sage and hemp for emotional healing spell for friend. (Store only has sage and onion stuffing. Probably no good - will make her chicken out of things. Make note to be more supportive next time).
Weave two garden sets in between chicken-slaughter. Sacrifice them only semi-officially on plastic cutting-board. Hope Hecate won't mind...although knowing her, she probably will.
Fit another chair in while offering roasts. Hecate obviously pissed - lightning bolt incinerates birds.
Order pizza - hope that will appease the goddess.
Chair gives me trouble - one leg being awkward. Force the job, and strips unwind as soon as I've tied them.
Perform karma cleansing, as my furniture-making appears to be going all wrong.
Chicken and Sweetcorn pizza arrives. Scrape all the chicken off for the goddess. Sweetcorn pizza goes cold and miserable quickly. No more lightning bolts, so obviously, at least someone's happy.
Late for the Oak Tree Committee Meeting! Quickly strip in front of fellow Wiccans. They look at me a little oddly.
Realise this is not a skyclad meeting. Feel slightly sheepish at having poured chickenblood over head before getting confirmation of this...
Go home. Beloved wife explains concisely that I'LL be cleaning the blood off the car seats this time.
Shower.
Consult Book of Shadows for a "more time in the day" spell. Need juniper berries. Wonder if vodka works just as well.
Sample vodka.
Wake up. New day. How the hell did that happen?
2006-08-31 04:58:42 · answer #2 · answered by mdfalco71 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I can't tell you about the furniture part...that's oathbound material.
As far as us running naked around a big oak tree covered in blood...that is just ludicrous! You need to learn more about what Wicca really is!
We, in fact, run around big oak trees covered in Marmalade. (Some self-proclaimed Wiccans have taken to using diabetic jellies....blasphemers!!)
2006-09-01 01:45:46 · answer #3 · answered by Matt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya gotta sacrifice a few chickens to make good furniture. There is just no way around it.
2006-08-31 04:55:38 · answer #4 · answered by Pablito 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sacrificing Chickens, Making Wicca/Wicker Furniture, Dancing Naked around the Oak Tree?????????!!!!
hahahahahaha LMAO!!!!!!!!!
Boy, you are a highly educated one, aren't you!!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-31 04:53:38 · answer #5 · answered by prophetessqueen 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dude stop watching TV and the Blair Witch Project. Second, that's VERY offensive... how would you like people calling your religion a chicken sacrificing cult?
Wiccans DO NO IN ANYWAY DO ANY BLOOD RITUALS, SACRIFICES, DEMON/DEVIL WORSHIP, or any of the crazy stupid things that people say who hate Wicca/Witchcraft and don't even know what it really means!!!
If you would do your damn research first before you start saying s**t and accusing people of sacrifice, you would know Wiccan are peacful, earth/nature loving people who want to live in harmony and not cutting animals heads off and praying to hell!!!
Stupid ignorant people make me sick, and I'm guessing your one of them... obviously!
2006-08-31 04:48:16 · answer #6 · answered by Dark Witch 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
It's not funny. It makes no sense Wiccans do not harm anything. Why would they sacrifices chickens? Now Pagans used to sacrifice animals that couldn't make it through the winter. Anyways.......
2006-08-31 04:46:28 · answer #7 · answered by mememe 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
And lately they've been quite busy making that movie, too. You know...The Wicca Man. *groan*
2006-08-31 04:44:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hahahahaaaaaaaaaaa that's pretty funny
2006-08-31 04:45:02 · answer #9 · answered by AzOasis8 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's people like you that give Yahoo! Answers a bad name!!!!
2006-08-31 08:15:58 · answer #10 · answered by trinitarianwiccan 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋